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The scent of laundry soap and cloves fills my lungs as I begin to wake slowly. The scent is heartbreakingly familiar, it reminds me of Twitch. Thoughts of him cause a shuddering sob to break through my throat and tears to run but rough fingers wipe them away. I start thrashing to get the bastard away from me.
“Don’t touch me! I’ll kill you!” I scream at the top of my lungs throwing my weak punches.
“Sil, open your eyes. It’s me, baby. It’s Twitch.”
I freeze and open my good eye to see my beautiful man sitting next to me on the bed. The events of yesterday come flooding back to me and I release the breath I was holding. I can’t believe I forgot my man found me. Rescued me. I guess I am the damsel after all, but do I care? Fuck. No.
“Hi,” I tell him once my breathing slows. I notice his eyebrow is bleeding, the same cut that always opens during his fights is bleeding slightly. “Fuck, did I do that? I’m sorry, Twitch.” I try to sit up and find something to clean him with but he stops me.
“Don’t worry about that, love. I’m fine. I shouldn’t have scared you like that.”
I sit back against the headboard and stare at Twitch’s face, memorizing every detail and savoring the air around me. It’s filled with his clean scent. My body hums at the sensory overload before me. Twitchisn’t wearinga shirt and I see he has new tattoos including the Renzetti crest along with a portrait of me and his sister on booths pecs. I’m over his heart. He looks healthy like he continued on with his life these past few months. His muscles look larger and his clean shaven face looks sharp and clear.
I avert my eyes. Seeing my own frail body, covered in bruises and scars. My muscle tone is almost nonexistent and my skin looks unhealthy. My hair is tangled and matted. Dull and lifeless like the rest of me. I cover my face in shame. I’ve never in my life felt so fucking ugly and vulnerable. While held captive I felt vulnerable and weak but being in front of the only man I’ve ever loved, the feelings are much more intense. I don’t want him to see me this way.
Twitch pries my hands from my face.
“No, Silver. Don’t do that. I’ve gone too long without you. Please don’t hide your face from me.”
His voice is hoarse and the splintering of it has me looking at him. I saw him cry yesterday when he found me but I was still spinning from Vas’s hits and the stun grenade so I wasn’t able to fully appreciate his show of emotions. Now though, I see the tears flooding his eyes but they don’t fall. Don’t get me wrong, I’m immensely grateful Twitch is healthy but I feel like I’m the boney and mangy dog at a pedigree dog show.
“I don’t want you to see me this way, Twitch. I feel dirty and ashamed while you... I mean, I-.” I wave my hand up and down our frames as tears make a path down my dirty face.
“Enough, Silver. You’ve lived through shit no woman should go through. You’ve straightened your own crown all your life, let me do it for you now. You’re a motherfucking queen… my motherfucking queen so let me take care of you, yeah?” He gets up and walks into the restroom, leaving me speechless. What did I do to deserve this selfless man?
I slowly swing my legs over to the side of the bed. It’s the first time I’m noticing the room I’m in. I’m not sure where I am. Jefa told me last night that we were still in Texas but we were in a hideout home that belongs to someone named Ren.
The floor is dark wood with white walls, nothing homey or inviting really, just a bed, closet and restroom. Next to the bed are three wooden crates stacked to make a bedside table with a glass of water on top and a clock. I move my IV stand and marvel at the digital numbers. You don’t realize how fucking lucky you are to know the time until it’s taken from you. I lift my eyes and suck in a breath, the window is wide open, letting the cool morning air come in but that’s not what makes my eyes leak their fucking tears. No, it’s the sunrise that has me standing on shaky legs to watch the sun kiss the earth.
The stars twinkle like they’re saying goodnight to the birds who are rising. Twitch’s inked arms wrap around me from behind and I lean into his embrace, his strength. I watch the birds bounce around on the ground plucking bugs from the grass before taking flight with their feast.
“When you first went missing, I wanted to die but my sister reminded me that you were out there. Though she didn’t know you, she knew you were fighting for me so I fought for you.”
I continue to stare outside while listening to his words. I know exactly what he’s telling me. I felt it all too. Every strike of the whip fate wielded against us.
He runs his fingers along my neck before tracing my jaw and lips as he continues, “You look at me and see the outside only but, Silver, the inside of me… it’s ravaged by rage. It’s littered with festering wounds unwilling to heal until you’re healed. You see health but one look in my eyes and you’ll see the damage the empty space in our bed did. You’ll see how the silence in our home has bruised me. You’ll see how your loss broke my soul daily.”
I lean my head back against his shoulder and shiver at the sensations I haven’t felt in so long. My heart crashes against my ribs as my pussy clenches with need.
“You’ll see the lacerations I gained when I couldn’t feel your pulse beating on my fingers. You’ll see the chips and cracks created when I couldn’t kiss you or hear your moans while I touched you.”
I release a soft moan as Twitch cups my breasts and rolls my nipples between his fingers. I reach my arm behind his head and grip his hair when he trails his hand down to my achy core but then he stops. He grips the long t-shirt I'm wearing and groans like it's physically painful for him to stop. I turn and look at him in confusion.
“Don't stop, Luca. I need you. I've needed you for months.” I see the battle in his eyes, his need and desire for me warring with his need to protect me and cradle me. So I do what any horny bitch would do. I rub my ass along his hard length and sigh when he cups my pussy through the shirt and panties. Jefa gave me a small sponge bath and some clean clothes but I still need a proper shower.
Twitch's hand doesn't move, he just holds me while he pushes his face to the side of mine, laying kisses to my bruised face. I'm not sure how long we stand there like that, enjoying each other's presence but all too soon Twitch moves away and sits me down on the bed. I avert my eyes and look away from him. My face burns with embarrassment. I probably should have showered or cleaned up further before trying to climb him like a tree.
Twitch lifts my chin to meet his eyes. “I'm going to take care of you, in every fucking way. I swear it. I've thought of nothing but you and holding myself back right now is physically painful to me but your care comes before me, okay?”
I release a nervous breath and nod my head. I know he's right. I know Twitch would never look at me the way I feel about myself. All he's shown me is his love and desire for me. It's my own self-consciousness that makes me feel ashamed. I'm not used to feeling this way about myself. I've always taken good care of myself, so to see the damage done to my mind and body… it's tough to deal with.
“I need to remove the IV and get you into the tub, okay? I'll take care of you, baby. I promise but please, stop doubting my devotion to you. There's been no one but you, Neviah. There will never be anyone but you.”
His words make something inside me click back into place. Like he just said a password to my self doubt.
Fuck this. I will not let Popov win. Twitch is right. I'm a motherfucking queen. I have a long road ahead of me and getting my body to heal along with my mind will be difficult but I will do it. I will not wallow in self pity. Yeah, I got dealt a shit hand but with Twitch and my friends by my side, I'll conquer this battle like I have any challenger in the ring.
I sit a little straighter and pull my shoulders back as Twitch pulls the IV out of my arm. He must notice the change because he looks up at me and gives me his beautiful, breathtaking smile, “Ah, there she is.”
