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He pressed his lips together in a firm line. “It’s more than that.” He picked up his phone and held it up to her. “I’ve just finished reading some comments to a newspaper story about the shooting. A few people think it wasn’t a big deal that I got shot because I’m the son of one of the most hated men in the country. What if someone tries again and kills me, or worse, kills you?” His eyes were fierce with conviction.
This was insane logic. He cared about her, but wanted to break up? How could she make him understand that there had to be another way? She took a deep breath and tried to calm the rising panic. “And yet you’re willing to let me go?”
“It’s about keeping you safe. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
They could ride this out together; she just had to make him see it differently. “Don’t I have a say in this?” She raked a hand through her hair, her stomach still churning. “I think you’re worth the risk. We can hire a security company, or stay in your loft until—”
“No,” he interrupted, holding up a hand. “It ends now. I’m doing it for you, Colleen,” he said, his voice brittle.
So this was it? She didn’t know whether to cry, yell at him, or both. “Finn, please think about this some more.”
He turned his head to the window.
“Finn, look at me. Please.” She’d never begged for anything in her life, but she was prepared to do anything to get him to listen to her.
He crossed his arms over the chest with a harsh exhale.
This is how he wanted to end things? Fed up with trying to be calm, Colleen laid bare her feelings. “This might be over for you, but it’s not over for me,” she said, her voice rising in frustration. “I’d fight anyone for us to be together, Finn. Don’t ever forget that.”
“Am I interrupting something?” Dr. Chan asked as he entered the room.
Colleen shifted away from the bed. She kept her eyes on Finn, hoping he would say something about not wanting her to leave.
Finn turned his attention to the doctor. “No. We’re done here.”
Colleen pushed her way past the doctor. “Excuse me,” she said, choking back her tears, running out of the room as she headed for the elevator and the waiting security guard.
CHAPTER 48
COLLEEN
Colleen rolled over in bed, pulled her legs close to her chest, and took a deep inhale. She held her breath and then slowly exhaled. She repeated this exercise until her heart rate calmed down. Opening her eyes, she took in her surroundings. The light from a full moon filtered through the shade, illuminating the piles of clothes that marked the amount of time she’d been in this room. She shouldn’t be in Sean’s guest room; she should be with Finn in his bed. She wiped away the tears that flowed constantly these days. She missed him so much it ached.
Time had suspended since she last saw Finn one week ago. The throngs of press outside O’Connor Tower had dwindled to a few photographers hoping to get a photo of her. She tried to keep busy by working on her business, most of the time she cried in bed or stared out the window. Sean and Ana tried to get her to go out with them, but she didn’t feel like confronting the photographers or going through the motions of daily life.
Her business idea was taking shape and she’d been accepted for the teaching job at the adult education center. Two good reasons to stay in New York. Sean had insisted she live in his apartment for as long as she wanted. But how could she stay here with Finn living in the same building?
Molly had called her a few times. She urged Colleen to give Finn more time to deal with what happened to him. She appreciated Molly’s support, but if there was a path forward, it was solely up to Finn to find his way back to her.
She rolled over on her other side and closed her eyes, trying not to think about being held in Finn’s arms. The scent of soap on his skin after they took a shower before bed. The feel of his arms around her, always a reminder of his promise to keep her safe. She pulled a pillow close to her body and wept.
“Hey,” Sean said quietly, shaking Colleen awake. “It’s time.”
Colleen jumped up. She’d been dreaming about being in bed with Finn. But she wasn’t with Finn, she was in her empty bed in Sean’s apartment. Gulping back tears, she flopped back on the bed with an arm over her face. It was time to go to California. “I want to talk to Finn first. Maybe he’s well enough to come with me. He promised he would do that.”
“Coll,” Sean’s voice was muted, “Finn was discharged yesterday and he’s staying with Molly in Stony Brook.”
“What?” Renewed hope raced through her. She climbed out of bed, searching for clean clothes. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve got to go see him.”
Sean took her hands in his. “Listen to me,” he said, his azure eyes full of concern. “Don’t do this. Finn needs time.”
“Time for what?” she cried, pulling her hands away. “He broke up with me, but that doesn’t mean I stopped loving him. I have to make him understand none of this was his fault.”
“I know he loves you, but he has to heal physically and emotionally. He still wants you to go to San Bernardino and give your statement.”
“Finn doesn’t get to tell me what to do. It’smystatement,” she said, pounding a fist over her heart. “I’m the one this happened to and I’m the one who has to tell my story to the court. Got it?”
Sean held his hands up in defense. “Whoa. I’m not the enemy. He’s my best friend, but you’re my sister.” He took her hand again. “You’ll always come first. As your brother, I’m going with you to San Bernardino. And as Finn’s friend, I want you to be patient with him. Believe in him. Don’t fight this right now or you might lose him forever.”
