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Though she ached for him, she could not even look him in the eye. And worse, he had avoided her as much as humanly possible while dining together. She had been surprised when he did not excuse himself when the meal ended in order to avoid this after-dinner time that had, until tonight, been the highlight of her days.
Where they usually engaged in a game of chess or cards or perhaps spent a cozy few hours with each of them reading, sometimes stopping to share a thought-provoking passage, tonight an ominous silence hung over them that had Tallie’s nerves on end. She hated the loss of their companionship.
More than lust or her raging libido, those evenings of shared company had formed the basis for her love for Zander. He could call her a child. He could assert she was too young and did not know what was best until he was blue in the face. She knew her heart. She knew deep in her soul what he meant to her.
He cleared his throat and she glanced up at him.
“I believe we need to discuss the situation with Lord Banyon.”
It was inevitable this topic would come up, though she had dreaded it. At least he was no longer silent.
“I do not wish to marry him. I do not love him and I never will. I refuse to marry unless it is for love.”
Zander’s eyebrows rose and he took a long pull from his glass of port before setting it on the desk in front of him. Tallie had seen this maneuver many times. It was his way of buying time to decide what he wanted to say.
“You make a rather bold demand,” he said.
“You stuck your fingers up my arse. I would say we are even on the bold actions.”
He tipped his glass to her. “Touché.”
“D-did you enjoy it?” she asked, not sure why she needed to know, but she did.
He glanced away for a moment then held her gaze. “Yes, Tallie. I did. But,” he held his hand up to halt her from speaking, “that is not the point. Or at least not the whole point. You must marry and you must marry Lord Banyon.”
She stood and paced the room, stared out the window then returned to stand in front of him. “Why? Why must I marry at all? Why can I not be an explorer or adventurer, as you are? No one has insisted you marry. Why can I not be afforded the same freedom?”
“It cannot be.”
“When did you become such a slave to the opinions of others? The mores of society?”
“There is no money.”
The words hung in the air between them.
“I-I do not understand. What do you mean there is no money?”
“Your father had invested heavily in some mines to the north. They have all failed.”
“But, what of Slattery Hall? The artwork and family jewels. Those are not affected, are they?” A sickening knot formed in the pit of her stomach.
Zander filled his glass again. Now that she noticed it, she realized he had been imbibing more than usual of late.
“Yes, they are affected.” He pulled a stack of papers from the desk. “These are all from creditors. The employees of the mines are also without funds. Your father had been a most generous employer, possibly to his detriment. And now nearly all the mines have failed...” His voice trailed off and once again the room was engulfed in silence.
Tallie sat down and Zander poured her a drink and slid it across his desk to her. “W-when did all of this happen? Why did you not tell me?”
“I had hoped the mines would recover but I let things go too long. Your father had been determined not to lay off any of the workers and I wanted to abide by his wishes. But,” he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger, “I failed. I failed your father. I have failed you. You have nothing to take into a marriage.”
“And Lord Banyon? Is he aware of this situation?”
“I have hinted at some downgrade in your ‘circumstances.’”
“Which explains your rush to have me married off. And under false pretenses, as though I am some sort of fraudulent painting you wish to pass off as a masterpiece.”
He inhaled sharply and a look of pain crossed his face. “Youarea masterpiece, Tallie. The most beautiful and stunning masterpiece in the entire world. Lord Banyon is fortunate to have the opportunity to have you as his w-wife.” Zander stared out the window, his face pale and Tallie’s heart ached at the pain in his voice.
“I do not care about the money.”
