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Briar waved a dismissive hand. “Any time. You know that. Ewan is finished for the day. You could probably get up the track now.”
He hadn’t noticed the silence; he’d been too absorbed in his own reactions to Briar’s insights. “I better go, I don’t want to miss him.”
His friend was already clearing the table and rinsing the cups. “I’ll see you round.”
*
Ewan Tolley wasthrowing a massive box of tools into the back of his ute when Xander joined him. He made it look easy, his height and build intimidating. Xander remembered him from school. A gentle giant with an affinity for machinery. “Hey, Alex. I was going to ring you. I can come up as soon as I finish here to do your driveway. Mid-week maybe.”
“I’d appreciate it.”
“It will save me bringing the loader out to shift the machinery, I can head straight up and start at the top and work my way down.”
That sorted, Ewan climbed into the ute and headed down the track. He’d done a good job on the actual track so far, but Xander could see where he was using the backhoe to put in drainage pipes. Still, the road looked driveable. He walked further up to where the side-track went into the clearing. It had been graded and the fallen tree was beside the track in a pile of other timber cleared from the sides.
A laugh attracted his attention and he watched, slightly startled, as a young child in overalls ran across the clearing to a new caravan parked on the bottom end of the space. A battered Holden station wagon was parked beside it. A woman came out of the van, dressed in a long flowing skirt in rainbow colours, and a déjà vu moment hit him. So soon after Briar’s mention of his mother, it felt like a sudden visitation from the past. Then the woman turned and she was nothing like Chrissy MacDonald and he could see the child was a little girl with a long braid down her back. A new worker for the farm perhaps.
This is what Bonnie wanted. The mother picked up the child, bumping noses in a display of affection he couldn’t ever remember from his own mother. You had to be free of fear to love unconditionally. He’d thought he’d put the fear behind him when he gained control over his own life. He turned away, walking back down the hill to his vehicle. Fear still lurked behind the facade he’d built of the impervious Xander Mac. He hadn’t outgrown it at all.
All the things Bonnie worried about came together in his mind. Whether he could cope with her health, the possibility of things happening to any children, whether he’d stick around if things got hard. She wasn’t afraid of those things for herself but she recognised his fear. Like some damned saying he recalled about being afraid of fear itself. Maybe there was a song in that somewhere but what he needed was a solution.
*
Bonnie steered thefour-wheel drive up the newly graded track through the Appleton place. She’d picked up the fruits and vegetables from Briar in her usual Thursday routine, but it was Flo’s mission taking her further up into the hills. Xander would not be pleased to see her. He’d contacted Flo to tell her he was camping out on his property but hadn’t contacted her since and Flo was now panicking because he wasn’t answering his phone.
Bonnie could hardly explain to her employers the reason for Xander avoiding the inn was because of her. As for the phone thing, she’d found his charger in his bedroom when she was cleaning. His phone was probably flat after a couple of days. Unless he was out of range. That was possible too, being so far back in the hills. All the same, Flo was worried and Bonnie couldn’t escape the feeling it was her fault he was not contacting home.
Leo had seen him at a rehearsal, so he wasn’t dead. That was one thing she’d been able to check, knowing the band were back in town to ready themselves for the big concert on Saturday night. The big truck with the band’s concert equipment was already parked behind the community centre when she’d come past on the way out of town.
They were the main event, with a couple of other guest artists to start off the evening, so it was a big responsibility, raising funds for a drug rehabilitation program for youth at risk. They’d done it in association with the Haven Street House non-profit facility supported by Zac Hart. Leo had mentioned they’d secured Zac to perform early in the night on the strength of the connection. The O’Brien Brothers Band would be there to warm up the crowd as well. The tickets had been sold out for weeks, so it looked like a good amount of money would be going to the charity.
The field of solar panels loomed up on her right and she braced herself for the confrontation with Xander. The track had been smoothed out right to the shed and she pulled up on a grassy area alongside a sedan with real estate stickers on the door. Eleanor Cavallo. That could be awkward. She hadn’t expected an audience for her confrontation with Xander.
Guilt still ate at her after their talk at the jetty. She’d pushed too hard, not giving him time to absorb the information she was giving him. Not giving him time to process, demanding a response, pushing for an instant decision. Expecting him to pull back. Believing he wouldn’t think her worth the trouble. There were always solutions. Especially with the kind of money Xander had at his disposal. But she hadn’t wanted him to have time to think about all the possibilities. In case he still chose to walk away.
She knew how much he hated having to think on his feet. Xander liked to plan things. It was why he’d been so successful as a musician. She’d seen his notebook when he first started plotting out how he wanted things to go. Every stage laid out with options of how to achieve each goal. The contacts he needed to make. The places the band could appear to get noticed by the people who counted. The market and what was selling. What trends lasted. All carefully researched.
Neither Xander nor the Realtor were visible, so she had to assume they were inside. A rumble of machinery told her Ewan Tolley was somewhere nearby, so she walked over the rocky rim where she could see down the slope towards the river. The bright yellow bulldozer was piling up trees halfway down the hill. They could either be burned or left to dry for firewood if Xander didn’t mind them looking unsightly in the foreground of his spectacular view.
She turned back to look at Eleanor’s car. Unless he wasn’t going to stick around. An ominous sinking in her gut told her she had half expected this. Expected him to run. He’d almost admitted it when he’d suggested children might be too much of a tie anyway, if he wanted to keep travelling. Sure he’d said it was about her health but maybe it was the excuse he’d been looking for. All his talk about settling down at the Crossing was only talk after all.
*
The door intothe living area of the shed opened and Eleanor came out, followed by Xander. She was an attractive woman in her late twenties, her dark hair and eyes reminiscent of her Sicilian heritage. Her parents had celebrated their silver anniversary at the inn before Bonnie left for Canada, so they’d gotten to know each other.
“Hi, Bonnie.” Eleanor’s broad smile ignored the obvious tension in Xander as he hovered beside her, in jeans and a pullover in a soft blue, giving Bonnie a brief nod but no verbal greeting. “I must come see you about having a party for Mum and Dad next month.”
She turned to Xander. “I’ll get back to you with those figures by late tomorrow.”
With a wave at both of them she headed for her car and almost immediately headed back through the Appleton place.
Bonnie indicated the bulldozer. “I see you’re getting the driveway done.”
“I’m getting a valuation for the property, so it helps ensure accuracy.”
“A valuation? Are you planning to sell it?”
He looked away, towards the cloud of dust marking the bulldozer activity. “Maybe. I did think about giving it back to Briar, but he says he has enough for his needs.”
