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I smacked his arm. “You didn’t think I was too close when I let you fuck me.”
His gaze snapped to mine, his jaw clenching. “Careful.”
“What? Got nothing to say now? Go, Zach. Run away like you always do.” Before I could say anymore, I turned and headed back to the house when a warm body crashed into me.
Zach wrapped his arms around me, placing a soft peck on my head. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Moonbeam.” When he pulled away, I didn’t stop him. When he muttered anI love you,I didn’t say it back. And when he drove away, I didn’t move.
Bodies came toward me, but I couldn’t look up. I couldn’t face the pity in their eyes. This was a mistake. A big fucking mistake.
Gentle arms enveloped me and that was when I broke.
Sobs wracked through me, forcing me immobile. My lungs burned with lack of air.
I hated him. For giving up on us. For not fighting for me. For making me fucking cry.
The girls whispered to me, offering their sweet words and gentle touches. These girls were my life. My sisters even though we weren’t blood related. They were a piece of me. And so was Zach but now that he was gone, it felt like that piece of me had died.
I had spent years loving him, probably since I was a little girl but I wasn’t sure what was worse.
Knowing what it felt like to be loved by him or not knowing at all.
***
(Zach)
A tiny finger poked my arm.
I frowned, looking down at Luna. “What do you want?”
Her big eyes shone. She looked out on the dance floor, watching everyone.
“Zach,” Brogan said gently. “I think she wants you to dance with her.”
“Really?” I raised an eyebrow. “But…” I didn’t know how to dance, and I didn’t know these people. I was getting to know them, but it was still…weird.
“I think she does.” Brogan’s smile grew, giving me a nod of encouragement.
“Oh…” I stood from the chair, holding out my hand. “Okay.”
Luna grinned.
I laughed. “Thank you,” I told Brogan. “Mom.”
“Fuck.” I slammed a fist against the steering wheel. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” What the hell was I doing? How could I let her father get to me? How could I let him fucking win? And how the hell could I push her away? It always happened. Every time someone got too close, I shoved them aside like they were a piece of shit on the bottom of my shoe.
“Whatever you do, come to us. Don’t act out. Think first before you do something stupid, Zach.”
My dad’s words pounded inside my head but instead of listening to him, I continued driving.
“I will make it so you all you do is push people away. You will never trust anyone. Ever.”
I was a pussy for letting my stepmother control me this way. I was a pansy ass motherfucking pussy for letting her win and live inside my head all this time. And now because Luna got close, the voice was almost louder. Meaner. Colder.
Luna got into my heart.
“She’s going to hurt you.”
I shook my head. No. She wouldn’t. She would never hurt me.
