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I could still feel his rough mouth against mine. Touching my lips, I smiled at the memory rushing through me.
One night after supper, I gathered a plate of food and brought it down to Tanner. I had brought him food a couple of times, but it had mostly been one of the prospects doing it. But this night was different. Something was in the air. Everyone had been off. Sammy was grumpier than usual. Uncle Greyson’s scowl was deeper. And people snapped at each other for no apparent reason. Until Aunt Eve made the instruction that no one was going anywhere, and they were going to spend the evening doing nothing. That was when people started drinking. It eventually turned into laughter, making some of the thickness in the air disappear.
While everyone was unwinding, I headed down into the basement. When I stood outside Tanner’s room, I lifted my hand to knock when the door swung open.
I jumped back.
Tanner stared down at me. “What?”
“I have food for you.”
In a quick move, Tanner grabbed my arm and pulled me into the room before shoving me up against the door. It slammed shut behind me.
He took the plate from my hands and dropped it onto the dresser.
“Tan—”
“I suggest shutting the fuck up.” That familiar tick in his jaw was jumping more than usual.
My eyes widened. “What the hell’s your problem?”
“This…you…you are my fucking problem.”
“What are you talking about?” I tried shoving out of his grip, but his hold only tightened. “Tanner, what’s wrong?”
He released me suddenly, taking a step away from me and started pacing. “I can’t do this.”
“Do what?” I stepped in front of him. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. Did I do something? Did someone else do something? Did you find out answers?”
“No, I haven’t found out any answers. And you haven’t done anything. That’s the fucking problem.” His brows narrowed. “You bring me food, which I appreciate, but that’s it. I haven’t seen you in what feels like years.”
My heart jumped to my throat at the desperation rolling off of him. “Tanner, I saw you last night when I brought you your food.”
“I…” His shoulders slumped. “I’m losing my damn mind.”
“No, you aren’t.” I closed the distance between us, placing my hands on his chest. His heart was racing beneath my palm. “You’re stressed. And you’ve been stuck down here, so I’m sure time feels a little slower. I also wanted to give you space but…”
“What?”
“I was being selfish and wanted to spend time with you.”
His lips twitched. “I want to spend time with you too.”
My heart jumped. “I know you need time to mourn, so if you want me to go...”
“No. Never.” He cupped my nape, pulled me against him, and wrapped his other arm around my waist. “I can mourn later.”
I wasn’t sure what was going on with him. I had never had this with a guy before. Was this normal? I needed to call Lori and Heather. Maybe they would know more and give me some advice.
He released me suddenly, putting some distance between us. “I shouldn’t do this but not seeing you, threw me off. I know it doesn’t make sense. Fuck, I’m losing control.” He gripped his hair, pulling at the strands. I noticed then that bags sat beneath his deep blue eyes. Did he have trouble sleeping?
“What do you want with me Tanner?”
He dropped his arm to his side. “I want to be with you in every sense of the word.”
“I want that too.” I went up to him and wrapped my arms around his middle. “Did you want to watch a movie?”
“I want to do other things, but a movie sounds perfect,” he said, kissing the top of my head.
