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That would kill me, I’m pretty sure. Can you die from blue balls? But I can’t hurt Paige. I start to slide out, but she grabs my ass and holds me to her.
“Don’t stop, Jack. It’s okay. It’s normal for it to hurt the first time. It’ll go away. Please don’t stop. I want you to be my first.”
Like I said before, I can’t deny Paige anything. I take a steadying breath and continue to push into her. I push a little harder and finally, break through the barrier. She cries out and takes a deep breath. I want to stop – I mean, I don’t because this feels fucking incredible, but at the same time, I can’t stand the idea of Paige in pain, while all I feel is pleasure. I don’t want to hurt her, but then I feel her squeeze around me and I’m lost in the ecstasy of this moment. I close my eyes, using all the willpower I possess to keep myself from coming.
She whispers, “Don’t stop, Jack,” so I keep going. I’m finally seated in her all the way, and I’m pretty sure I could die of total bliss right now. She feels so fucking good. The pleasure shooting through my body is insane, and I realize I’m definitely not going to last long. This is way better than my hand or her mouth. I can’t get over how tight she feels.
So. Tight.
I look at her and watch her as I start to pump in and out. I’m struggling for control, but I know enough from locker room talk that I want her to come first. The guys have talked about all different kinds of ways to hold off. I start reciting the alphabet backward in my head, but I get distracted by the noises she’s making. They sound different than earlier.
“Does it feel good?”
“Yes,” she whispers.
Her eyes meet mine, and I’m completely lost to her. If Paige didn’t have all of me before, she sure as shit does now.
I continue to pump inside her, but I’m losing my battle for control.
“Paige, I can’t hold off much longer. You feel so fucking good.”
My muscles are tight and burning from the restraint. My whole body is fraught with tension. She’s moaning more now. I need to make her come.
I suddenly remember something Brandon Fishell told me about rubbing a girl’s clit to make her come. I move one of my hands down towards her clit and start massaging it gently. Her breath stutters, and she starts moaning louder, wholly lost to the feeling.
It’s so sexy.
Suddenly, she tightens and pulses around me as she calls out my name, her arms scraping down my back as ecstasy washes across her face. The feel of her coming around me is my undoing, and I completely lose it. I come hard. Harder than I ever thought was possible.
We lay there holding each other for a long time after, not talking. I’m playing with Paige’s hair, holding her tightly to me, her hand wrapped around my waist, a second blanket that I brought covering our naked bodies.
“Was it okay?” I ask tentatively.
I want more than anything for her to have enjoyed it. I know I did.
She sits up and looks at me, “Jack, it was perfect.”
A smile breaks across her face, and I let out a relieved breath.I pull her back down to me, holding her close. I never want to leave this moment. I kiss her hair and tell her how much I love her. The words don’t feel strong enough to convey how I feel about her. I know now, without a doubt, that Paige is it for me. She’s the only one who will ever make me feel like this. She has all of me.
Thirteen
I don’t know how long we lay together on that blanket, our naked bodies touching, Jack’s hand running through my hair. He has all of me. I know there will never be anyone else for me. I love him beyond words. This night was everything I hoped it would be, and so much more. If I didn’t have our move to Chicago looming over my head, I’d be 100% sure that Jack and I would end up married someday. But the reality is we are moving.
I don’t look at him when I start talking. I can’t.
“We need to talk about what’ll happen when I move to Chicago.” I don’t mean to whisper the words, but that’s how they come out anyway.
He exhales heavily. “I know.” He sounds so sad and defeated.
“Do you think we can make it work?” It’s the question I’ve been asking myself non-stop. I’m afraid of his answer.
I’m worried he’ll say no.
“I don’t know,” he whispers.
He kisses my forehead softly. “Paige, I love you with every ounce of my being. But we’re 16. You’re moving over 2,000 miles away, and neither of us has jobs, so it’s not like we can pay for trips to see each other without our parents’ help. I want to believe we can make this work long distance, but I just don’t know. The longest we’ve been apart was two months last summer and it sucked. And that was before we were even a couple. We haven’t been apart at all since we started dating, and the idea of being separated from you kills me.”
“It kills me, too. But can’t we at least try?”
