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8
“What do you think of this color?”Rikki asks, holding up her phone with a picture of a woman whose hair is as black as hers and the most gorgeous and vibrant teal on the ends.
“That would look great on you.”
She holds her phone up next to her head, the picture facing me.“Right?I should do it.”She pulls her phone away from her face and continues scrolling.“I think I’m going to call my stylist and see if she can do something like that.It’s been a while since I did anything fun with my hair.”
I smile fondly at my best friend.She’s always been adventurous about playing with her hair—hairstyles, colors, even once being brave enough to let me cut her bangs, which is a mistake she’ll never make again but one we laugh about often.
“How’s the recording going?”she asks.
I flip another page from the magazine I picked up as an impulse buy when we stopped by the grocery store to get snacks for our girls’ night as I answer.“It’s going well, I think.My dad seems pleased.”
“And your hunky drummer?”
“He’s notmydrummer.”
“Please.You forget who you’re talking to here.”
My shoulders sag and I throw my head back, regretting that I told her all about my fantasy of Miles and how much he makes me feel things I’ve never felt before with just a single glance.Well, not really regretting it.I would’ve told her anyway.I just wish she wasn’t asking about it right now, especially after seeing him yesterday at the studio.I wish I knew what it was about him that makes me feel…well, everything.
Things I wasn’t sure I could ever feel after what happened.
Desire.
Arousal.
Longing.
My heart aches, and a ball of emotion lodges in my throat as that longing overwhelms me just at the thought of him.There’s so much I wish I could have when it comes to Miles, but I know it’s wishful thinking.He’s older, way more experienced, and working with my dad.Even I know I’m not worth the risk I could pose to his career if my dad found one of his musicians making the moves on me.Not that Miles would.
He could probably go out to any bar and pick up any woman he smiles at.
I can’t even go into a bar.
“Earth to Tamsin,” Rikki says, waving her hand in front of my face.
“Sorry,” I mumble.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“What’s there to talk about?It’s silly to even think about there being a possibility for us.”
Her brows furrow.“Why is that silly?”
I stare at her with indignation.“Are you serious?Why would he waste his time with me when there’s a pretty high likelihood he’s never gonna get any?”
She sits back and I can practically see the words forming on the tip of her tongue before she even opens her mouth.“Tamsin, you’re so much more than what your body can or can’t doright now.”She emphasizes the last part, and I know it’s because she’s convinced I won’t be broken forever.
“That’s not what society says.”I turn the magazine toward her and show her the article I was looking at that talks about how women need to harness their sexual power to get what they want.Flipping the pages, I see pictures of gorgeous scantily clad women.I thought this was supposed to be the generation where we are empowering women, but one look at this magazine and I still feel like we’re sexualized.That first and foremost, we’re supposed to be these sexy goddesses who can bring a man to his knees with our magical pussies or the power of our mouths.
I can talk a man to the ground about Taylor Swift all day every day, but I doubt that’s the kind of bring-a-man-to-his-knees they’re talking about.
Rikki grabs the magazine and throws it across the room.“Well, they’re stupid.”She grabs my hand and squeezes until I pull my gaze from the light cream carpet and meet her eyes.“You are incredible, just the way you are.And if a guy like Miles Tallon can’t see that, then it’s his loss, not yours.If all he wants is sex, then I hope he wears lots of condoms so he doesn’t get some horrible STD that makes his dick fall off.”
I can’t help letting out a slight laugh, which causes her to smile and her brown eyes to brighten.
“You deserve a man who will go to the ends of the earth for you and will take all the time you need.Someone who wants to knowyou, not just what’s between your legs.”
