Page 42 of Forbidden Intent


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Tamsin talks animatedly in the seat beside me as I drive to the Hollywood Bowl.I catch glimpses of her face when I briefly glance over at her, loving how relaxed she is with me now.I was worried after the other night that she might shut down because she felt embarrassed or damaged or whatever other lies she tells herself, but she surprised me.Well, surprised isn’t the right word.I know Tamsin is stronger than she gives herself credit for—she just lets her head get in the way.

I rub my thumb back and forth where it rests on her thigh, relishing being able to touch her this freely.

“So how do you know Wrecked by Reason?”

“They opened for us on our first major tour and we became good friends with them.When I asked Chase for tickets, he didn’t hesitate.It’s been a few months since we last saw each other, so it’ll be good to catch up.”I steal a glance at her.“You know, most women would be wildly impressed right about now.”

She rolls her head on the seat rest, facing me, and offers a smile.“You forget I grew up in the music world.Very little impresses me when it comes to musicians—they’re just regular people like everyone else.”

“Hmm…so who would you be impressed by?”

She taps her finger on her lips like she’s really having to think hard about this.“I don’t know.The president maybe?Or someone who’s won the Nobel Peace Prize.I don’t know.People are people and I like to believe that everyone is special and impressive in their own small way.Take the mom who always hugs her son before he goes to school.That might not seem that impressive to most people, but to her little boy it’s the gesture that gets him through the day.Believe me, he’d notice if she stopped doing it.Why shouldn’t she be just as impressive as someone who performs in front of thousands of people a night, or someone who fights for climate change?Maybe that simple action makes that little boy be kind to the quiet kid in class and that kindness makes that kid feel seen, which means maybe he doesn’t follow through on the thoughts of killing himself that have been plaguing him, and ten or fifteen years down the road he saves someone life.There’s a domino effect for every action we take, so why should I be more impressed with people who are more in my face about their successes and actions than the ones who are quiet about it and just living their life?”

I process her words for a minute before I respond.“I’ve never thought of it like that.”

“I think I’ve probably thought about it too much,” she says with a deprecating laugh.“But I just think everyone deserves to be celebrated.Life is hard.We’re all getting by the best we can and should be treated like rock stars no matter who we are or what we get accomplished—or don’t—on a daily basis.”

“You have a valid point.”

“Do you really think so, or are you just saying that?”

I glance over and give her a genuine smile.“I mean that.I promise I’m not blowing smoke up your ass.”

“Does it ever bother you that people put you on this pedestal for being famous?”

“Not really, but then again I don’t have to deal with it as much as Trent does.Only die-hard fans really notice me when I’m out and about, but otherwise I get to live my life pretty much like normal.But I won’t lie, I like the attention when we perform.I love hearing the roar of the audience when I have my solos and knowing that all my years of dedication and hard work have led to this moment—to fans losing their ever-loving minds while I get to play my drums.It makes all the sacrifices I made to get here worth it.”

“And it’s well-deserved.You guys are great.I’m not trying to diminish what you’ve accomplished.I just wish more people also appreciated the small, everyday acts that keep the world moving.”

I nod my head, agreeing with her one hundred percent, and give her a quick squeeze on her thigh as I pull into the parking area reserved for VIPs.Once we’re parked, we make our way backstage where I immediately see Chase, Jonah, and Sloan.Chase has his drumsticks in hand like always, while Jonah, their guitarist, eats a hot dog—I don’t know how that man doesn’t weigh six hundred pounds when he’s constantly eating—and Sloan sips what’s likely tea.

“Hey Chase!”

He turns his head and gets a big, shit-eating grin on his face.“Miles, my man!You made it.”He grips my extended hand in a handshake and pulls me in for a hug, both of us slapping the other on the back.

“Good to see you, dude.”

We pull away and I wrap my arm around Tamsin’s waist, pulling her to my side.“Chase, this is Tamsin.Tamsin, this is Chase.”I purposely leave off her last name since her dad still doesn’t know about us and the Cross name is famous in the music world.Fortunately, Decker has kept Tamsin mostly out of the public eye in connection with him, so I know the band won’t immediately recognize her and put two and two together.

“This girl is way too hot for you.What are you bribing her with?”

“Ha ha,” I say giving him a quick punch to the bicep, which only makes him laugh and pat me on the back again.

“Can’t help myself, man.It’s been too long since I gave you shit.”

We move closer to Jonah and Sloan and I continue introductions.Looking around, I ask, “Where’s Sean?”

Sloan’s gaze drops to the floor, Jonah’s goes to Sloan, and Chase looks like he’s about to turn into the Incredible Hulk.

“Okay, clearly I missed something,” I say.

Chase shakes his head.“That dickhead quit the band.”

Looking at the three of them, I know there’s a lot more to it than that, but when Sloan looks back up at me and I see the tears in her eyes, I decide not to push it.They’re about to perform; I don’t want to fuck with her headspace before she goes on stage.

Answering my unspoken question, Chase says, “Derek is our new bass player.He’s over there flirting with a groupie.”He chucks his chin behind me, but I don’t bother looking over.I’ll meet him later.

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