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36

Instead of heading to the kitchen or the den like I expected, Ford hooks a left and climbs the stairs. We all follow, piling into one of the bedrooms. The room’s practically the size of the downstairs kitchen and even though it has a double bed and two singles there’s still room enough for a three-seater sofa. I can already see their overnight bags thrown on the beds. I’m guessing this is the room they’re staying in tonight, and I realise I’ve no idea where mine is. Not that I’m particularly bothered right now, sleep is the last thing on my mind.

I’m wired, and I need a fucking drink.

“This place is ridiculous,” I say, flopping down onto the sofa. “What kind of people actually live like this?”

“The rich kind. This is their house in the country,” Sonny answers, kicking off his shoes and lying down on the double bed. “You should see their home in London, it’s off the scale impressive. You can talk to the room and the fucking lights go on and off, the blinds up and down, and whatever music you want plays in these state-of-the-art surround sound speakers.”

“Alright for some. Most of us are lucky enough to put food on the table,” Camden mutters, perching on one of the single beds.

“They worked hard for it, so why not?” Sonny replies a little defensively.

“I’m not dissing them, just stating a fact. If I manage to get out of this fucking mess, I won’t have a home to return too. Maybe prison’s the better option after all?”

“No fucking way,” I say vehemently. “I refuse to see any of you put away. After this is over, we have a chance to start again. All of us.” I almost saytogetherbut lose my nerve and instead take the bottle Ford offers. The whiskey burns my throat the whole way down but after a second its warmth fills my belly. “What?” I ask, as all four boys stare at me.

“You’re doing that thing again…” Sonny mutters.

“What thing?”

“That fierce thing you do…” Eastern adds, grinning.

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“Yeah, you do. That fierce, sexy-as-fuck, hot-as-hell thing you do,” Camden says, casually, his topaz eyes drilling into me until I’m flushing with heat. Or maybe that’s the whiskey?

Sexy-as-fuck, hot-as-hell?

“I have to agree with Cam,” Ford says, swiping a hand through his hair. He takes the bottle from me and chugs back another generous mouthful, his grey-green eyes flashing with undeniable lust.

“Pass me the bottle, Ford,” Sonny says after a beat. “I need a drink to warm my blue balls.”

“No shit,” Camden agrees. They all chuckle.

Ford passes the bottle to Sonny, then sits down next to me on the sofa. “You alright with everything?” he asks, a frown forming between his brows. Serious once more.

“I guess. We have to trust them, what other choice do we have?”

“If it’s any reassurance at all, Grim won’t fuck about. She’ll get this done,” Ford says, picking up my hand and drawing circles in my palm.

“Yeah, and the Freeds will make sure she does,” Sonny chimes in, getting up off the bed and plonking himself on the other side of me. He rests his hand on my bare thigh, the warmth of his palm sending goosebumps flashing over my skin.

“I hope you’re right, because if this goes tits up, we’re all fucked. The King won’t show any mercy…” Camden says, jumping up and grabbing the bottle of whiskey from Eastern who took it from Sonny a moment ago.

“It’s going to work. Ithastoo,” I mutter, staring at the floor, trying to keep my shit together. We all fall silent. It isn’t easy for any of us to sit here together in relative peace let alone trust these people to help us. I’ve spent my whole life looking after number one, and aside from Tracy, Braydon and Eastern, I’ve never really had anyone to rely on. As much as Tracy has supported me, her priority has always been her own children and I understand that. I do.

The truth is, Ishouldfeel secure in the knowledge that this will work out, but I only feel uncertain. Yes, these boys are with me now. Yes, they’ve agreed to put aside their differences to bring down the King, but how long will it really last? Can Eastern keep to his word and give me the space to explore these feelings I have for them all? Will Ford and Camden overcome their past hurt and lay it aside? Will Sonny really stick with us knowing he already has a family unit that will give him so many more opportunities than any of us could ever possibly hope to do? Is it too much to hope we have a future after all is said and done? I don’t know. My heart wants to believe there’s something special between us, but my head is telling me to be cautious.

Screw that.

Today, I’m following my bruised and battered heart. It’s about fucking time.

When I finally raise my head to face them, I know what I need to do in the moment. Words mean very little to me. Actions speak the truth, always. It’s time I really see if these boys are willing to put their differences aside and become a unit. I want to know if there really is anusand I need to know now.

“We never got to finish our game of truth or dare,” I say, getting to my feet, swallowing hard when they give me their full attention. I school my emotions as much as possible but around these guys it’s harder for me to hide my true feelings. Over the last few months each one of them has chipped away at that protective wall I’ve built around my heart but today I need to break through it once and for all. I need to cement this thing we have into something solid, something we can all hold onto. Taking another glug of whiskey for Dutch courage, I straighten my spine and become the strong girl I know I am.

“This is my truth... I want you all.” I laugh at that, at how it sounds. But I continue on regardless. “I don’t know how this will go and I’m terrified, more scared than I’ve ever been in my fucking life. But I do know that whatever the future has in store for me, I want… no, Ineedyou all to be in it. Watching Louisa with her men has shown me thatthisis possible.”

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