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31
Pen
I’m on the phone with Clancy still spinning the lie about a stomach bug that’s taken the five of us out when Xeno, York and Zayn finally return home. It’s been three days since the events of Saturday night. Three days of worry, of barely eating or sleeping. I’ve endured nightmares, flashbacks, tremors and cold sweats. My brain has twisted that night up into something even more terrifying, and that fear I felt has grown like a weed, choking the love I have for my Breakers, constricting my heart. I’m a fucking mess.
“Do you think you’ll be well enough to come back soon? Coz I’m telling you; Tiffany and her side-bitch Sophie are driving me up the wall. Plus, Madame Tuillard is stalking around the Academy like the wicked witch of the west and D-Neath is being cagey as fuck. He had some dudes in suits pay him a visit yesterday. Handsome fuckers…”
“I’ve gotta go—” I say, flashing a look at the hollowed-out versions of my Breakers as they enter the flat.
“But—”
“I’ll see you at the Academy in a couple days, okay? Love you.” I end the call, chucking my mobile phone onto the coffee table before standing to face them. There’s a part of me that wants to throw myself into their arms, but how can I comfort them when I haven’t even been able to comfort myself.
“Where’s Dax?” Xeno asks, and the abruptness of his tone has me flinching.
“Taking a shower.”
He nods, barely looking at me. “I should take one too.”
“Xeno...?” My voice trails off at the coldness I feel emanating from him. It only serves to fuck with my head even more, as though he’s becoming the monster my brain has twisted him into after Saturday night.
“I need a minute.”
“Wait. We need to talk!” I say desperately. Moving around the sofa quickly, I grab his arm reflexively. He stiffens.
“Not now, Tiny,” he bites out, the tension in his body whip-sharp. I drop my hand, stung by his reaction and that sudden feeling of dread creeping up my spine.
“What happened? I’ve been waiting for you to come home, going out of mind with worry. Are you okay?” I ask, forcing the jittery feeling away as I look between them all. “Zayn? York?”
“It’s been a long few days, Titch. We’re all just really fucking tired. We’ve barely slept a few hours between us,” York says, scraping a hand through his hair. Some of the white-blonde strands have a pink tint to them that could only be one thing. That’s all it takes to send me hurtling back to Saturday night and the fucking trembling starts.Again.
Zayn steps towards me. “Pen, you’re shaking.”
I grit my teeth, holding my hands up as I blink the memories away and force myself to focus. They’re home. They’re safe. They’remyBreakers, the ones I love, not the fucked-up version my brain has started to twist into monsters. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine...”
“Said no woman, ever,” York says, breaking out a smile that’s as fake as my courage is right now.
I give him my own shaky smile, forcing myself to straighten my spine and lift my chin. “If you can deal with this, then so can I.”
“You shouldn’t have to deal with anything. You shouldn’t be in the middle of all of this. You shouldn’t have even been there Saturday night and you sure as fuck shouldn’t have witnessed what you did!” Xeno snaps, looking at me as though I’m to blame for everything that went down. Given the circumstances, he’s probably right. Now he’s cleaning up the mess that is my psycho brother.
“You’re going to do it, aren’t you?” I murmur. “You’re really going to fly out to Mexico and try to kill David?”
“Dax, that motherfucker. I told him not to say anything!”
“It’s madness!”
“Tiny, this has to happen—” he begins, his jaw tight, his whole body tense.
“No, it doesn’t,” I cut in. “Plan B isnothappening. You are not going to Mexico!”
Xeno shakes his head, his brown curls loose and unruly. In fact, every part of him seems wild, unhinged. “We need to take David out of the equation. This has to end. I’m done with all the bullshit.”
“Even if you did get close enough to kill my brother then somehow get safely back home again, who’s to say that Santiago won’t just use someone else to take his place and do his dirty work for him?”
“Pen has a point,” Zayn says tiredly. Xeno glares at him.
“Maybe he will, maybe he won’t, but I will not stand back and wait for that cunt to try and take out the people I love again. I willnotlose any of you. Do you fucking understand? I won’t!”
