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“But—”
“No, Tiny. David won’t stop until all the people I love are dead. He’s using this as an excuse to do what he wanted to do years ago. You know that! This isn’t just about showing loyalty to Santiago,” Xeno exclaims.
“Xeno, we knew something like this would happen… We knew the risks when we took on this job,” York says, edging closer to Xeno as though he’s expecting him to lash out.
“That wasbeforewe got Tiny back,” Xeno counters, his gaze snapping from mine to York’s and back again. “That prick had a motherfucking knife against your throat. It may as well have been David standing there!”
“But I’m fine,” I lie. Physically I’m okay, but mentally I’m far from okay. That’s not something I’m willing to share right now though. If I do, it will only fuel Xeno’s indignation. “You dealt with the threat, Xeno. I’m standing right here. You don’t need to go running off on a suicide mission. Not for me.”
Xeno strides forward and grasps my shoulders. “Not for you?” he seethes.
“Exactly,” I reply stubbornly, gritting my jaw.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You meaneverythingto me, Tiny! Don’t you dare fucking insinuate that you’re not worthy of our protection, that you don’t deserve to be safe, to live a happy fucking life. You are worth it. I would die for these bastards here, but for you, Tiny, I will tear the world apart with my bare fucking hands to keep you safe. Do you understand me?!” he roars, the love in his eyes frightening in its intensity.
“Xeno, back the fuck up,” York says, placing a hand on his shoulder. He grips him firmly, the veins in the back of York’s hand popping. They stare at each other, both unyielding as I stand sandwiched between them both. My tremors return and I try not to have a fucking breakdown right here between them, as my nostrils flare and I suck in a much needed breath.
I’m not scared of the men I love. I’m not. I love them. They love me.I say repeatedly, over and over in my head until I’m feeling calmer.
“This ends now. I’ll take them all out if I have too. Hudson can go screw himself. His revenge isn’t worth your lives. It fucking isn’t!” Xeno says, backing off. I let out a long, shaky breath.
“Believe me, Xeno, we all agree that David deserves to die,” Zayn says, his voice even. “But on this I’m with Pen.”
Xeno glares at both Zayn and York in turn before resting his gaze back on me. “I’m going to Mexico and killing that motherfucker like I should’ve done years ago. I’m not changing my mind.”
“For fuck’s sake,” York curses.
Blinking back my tears of frustration and trauma, I watch Xeno stride off towards his bedroom, disappearing from view. “If he goes, I know he won’t come home. I know it. I don’t care how good an assassin he thinks he is. I know my brother. He’ll take him out. Then he’ll take each of you out one by one until there’s only me left. Therehasto be another way.”
“We’ll talk to him when he’s had a chance to calm down,” Zayn says, tugging at the hem of his top in agitation. It’s only then that I notice they’re wearing joggers and t-shirts rather than the clothes they’d worn two nights ago. Which is probably just as well given they were covered in blood. I’m not sure I could’ve dealt with seeing that.
“Where are your clothes?” I ask.
“Evidence,” Zayn answers. His voice raspy with fatigue. “We were stripped, questioned, and released pending investigation.”
“Pending investigation? What the fuck does that mean?”
“It’s standard procedure,” York explains. “We might not be police officers, but we’ve proven ourselves enough times to gain some allowances. That’s why we were able to come home.”
“Allowances…? So that’s what murder’s called these days.”
Zayn sighs. “The four of us have put our necks on the line for Interpol more times than I can count. The information we’ve passed to them about Santiago over the last year is enough to put him away for life. Whilst messy to clean up, this is nothing in comparison to what they’ll gain from Santiago's arrest and incarceration. Besides, they still need us. It ain’t over yet.”
“Far from over,” York adds, brushing his bloodstained hair back off his face. “Fortunately for us, we have immunity from the law. Xeno made sure of that when we made the deal with Hudson and the powers that be at Interpol…”
“Must be nice to know you can do whatever you want without any repercussions…”
York frowns, his icy-blue eyes searching my face. “We’ve never once taken advantage of that.”
“Until now.” My voice is neutral, steady, but of course York reads something in my expression, and it pisses him off.
“You'reangry? Do you think we should be punished for what happened?” he asks, flinching.
“No. I’mgladyou’re home...” It’s not a complete lie. Not a lie at all, in fact. I’m so fucking relieved that they’re here.Safe.
“But...”
I press my eyes shut briefly, forcing away the memories and willing myself to forget the darker versions of the men I love. How can I explain how I feel? How can I tell them that the darkness I’d witnessed in all of them has haunted me these past few days? That I’ve woken up choking back the tears, barely able to draw breath from the nightmares. How can I explain that a small piece of me is afraid… ofthem? In all the time I’ve loved them, even when they returned, changed from the boys I grew up with, I was never afraid of them.Never. I don’t know how to deal with that. Fear has no place in a relationship. It has no place in our love. Forcing myself not to have a fucking meltdown, I open my eyes. Both York and Zayn are staring at me with a mixture of hurt, confusion and disappointment.
