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“I think you do,” Hudson says, leaning across the table and taking my hand in his. “He’s proven his loyalty to you, Grim. Should he have told you about Carter and the King’s agreement? Yeah, he should’ve, but he did it out of love. He protected you. I’m not sure I wouldn’t have done the same thing in his position.”
“I know that now, but you can’t ignore the fact that doing what he did took that decision away from me, that he left me alone fortwo years, Hud. If he really gave a shit about me, why not come back earlier, huh?”
“You’ve never been alone,” Hudson says, looking affronted.
I sigh. “You know what I mean.”
“He must have had his reasons,” Hudson says, playing devil’s advocate as he lets go of my hand and leans back in his seat, thoughtful.
I laugh bitterly. “Could it be that I’ve saved his fucking arse from a lengthy prison sentence?”
Hudson shakes his head. “I don’t believe that. Beast has never struck me as a coward. You know that too, deep down.”
“Then where has he been?”
“I think that’s a question you need to ask him, don’t you?”
“It’s not as simple as that.”
“Isn’t it?”
“How would it look for me to just take him back? People might not know the real truth of what happened that night, but they do know he was Carter’s second in command and that he fucked off the same night hedisappeared. At best he was a coward for running out on me when I needed him the most, at worst he went into hiding because he killed Carter. Neither option does Beast any favours. I’ll be seen as weak for taking him back into a position of trust, a traitor myself.”
“Forgiveness isn’t weak, Grim.”
“Don’t be a fool. You know as well as I do that in my world it is.”
“Then get him to prove himself, to you, to the whole fucking criminal underworld if you must.”
I chew on my lip, trying to think, trying to figure out what to do. Then I realise that I’ve already given Beast a way in. “I invited Beast to fight at Tales the night of my birthday.”
“There you are then. He can prove himself in the cage, just like he did that night with Derby.”
“Even if he wins, it still won’t be enough.”
“For who? For you or for everyone else.”
I don’t answer.
“It’s a start though, right?” Hudson continues, standing as he gathers up the dishes.
“Maybe…” I reply, my voice trailing off as I help Hudson clear the table.
For the rest of the night we avoid the subject of Beast, choosing instead to watch my favourite movie,Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.Only I can’t help but find myself wishing it was Beast with his arm around my shoulder and not my best friend. That need doesn’t diminish as the night draws to a close and I head off home. In fact, it only gets more intense, especially when I climb into bed naked with my head filled with thoughts of Beast and my fingers whispering over my clit.
* * *
I jerk awake,the sound of an incoming voice message on my phone making me groan as I reach for my bedside lamp, switching it on. Blinking back the bright light, I grab my phone as it buzzes again. I’d left it on silent whilst spending time with Hudson and by the time I got home it had run out of battery. Just before I fell asleep, I’d plugged it into charge and now it’s lighting up with missed call notifications. Assuming the worst, I open up the voicemail and press play thinking it’s either Dom or Mark and there’s an issue with the club.
But it’s neither.
It’s Beast.
“Kate… Fuck, Grim. Would you answer, please. I just wanna talk.”
Butterflies take flight in my stomach at the sound of his voice, and I shift in bed, sitting upright. He’d called when I was watching the movie with Hudson, right around the time I was thinking about how much I wished it was him I was relaxing on the couch with. The universe has a funny way of slapping you in the face with its backhanded humour.
“Fuck,” I mutter, letting out a breath as I scroll to my missed calls.
