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"What's wrong, Jaygen?"
"I'm fine," he said shortly before he sat up. "Foi is being overdramatic."
"No, I'm not," he growled. "I know you more than you know yourself asshole and something's wrong." He poked Jaygen's cheek. "Wake up already!"
"Stop," Jaygen mumbled, swatting him away like an irritating fly. "I already told you I'm fine."
Porter frowned. Jaygen said he was fine, but even his voice was monotone. The fact that he wasn't telling Foi to be quiet or lecturing him spoke volumes. He reached out and grabbed Jaygen's chin roughly before yanking it upward so the man couldn't look away.
"You aren't allowed to go back to being closed off from me. From us," he said, his gaze flickering over to Foi and back again. "We're all together in this, Jaygen. All of us."
Those blue eyes flickered up at him before he glanced away. "Please, leave me be for a while."
No, no Porter couldn't accept that! Jaygen had lost all control from what Foi had told them and he couldn't handle that. Porter wasn't going to allow him to stay in that state, so pitiful and miserable and...sad. The man he loved was so fucking sad.
"Please, Jaygen," Porter begged, his voice cracking as he held onto him, "don't leave me alone right now. I can't take it."
Jaygen gazed at him and shook his head. For the first time ever, he'd seen wetness in those icy depths. Jaygen was on the verge of crying. No...hewascrying. Porter reached out and touched his wet cheek, but the man pulled away until Foi shoved him onto his back, and Porter laid on Jaygen's chest.
"Talk to us," Foi growled. "Donotshut us out, you goddamn bitch cat!"
"I just need time," Jaygen whispered. "I know I don't talk about it a lot but losing control is too much for me. All those years spent bowing to my father, doing what he wanted me to do, starving, fighting, passing out, being forced to do things I never wanted to do-"
Jaygen's voice caught in his throat and Porter felt the deep rumble as he tried to clear his throat, but couldn't. Porter's heart broke for him. If anyone understood what Jaygen had gone through it was him. That unforgivable shove to be like your dad, it was deeply ingrained in him and he understood why Jaygen was so shaken. Porter wasn't back to normal himself. All he could think about was the fact that the source of his fear, anguish, pain and control was gone.Forever.
"You don't have to explain," Porter whispered, his fingers running through Jaygen’s soft hair as his face rubbed against his burgundy, silk pajamas. "Jaygen, I understand."
Foi scoffed before he began to pace back and forth. "Yeah, time. Last time he needed time, he holed himself up in here for a month and a half!" Foi snapped before he growled and grabbed Jaygen's shirt. "You don't get to shut down on us. Not this time. Tell him, Porter!"
"He's right, you don't." Porter didn't want to lose Jaygen mentally after almost losing him physically. The man was used to being in control and he would give him that. An idea sparked and he smiled. "Let's try something."
Jaygen had helped him out when he didn't know what was up or down. He'd brought him back to reality and showed him that there was something to hold on to. Now, it was time for Porter to do the same. He slipped out of bed and walked over to Jaygen's closet. As he dug around he could hear Foi arguing and Jaygen barely responding to his nonsense. Porter found the flogger hung up on the back wall and took it. The thing was heavy and he lifted it up and down before he nodded. This would be perfect.
"Time to get up, Jaygen," Porter said as he walked over and held the flogger out to him. "Come on, you can't lie in bed forever and think about how out of control the world is. If you want control, take it."
Foi nodded. "Yeah, because if you don't then I'll keep Porter all to myself!"
The long, low growl that came from Jaygen's throat made Porter jump. Damn, he'd forgotten how terrifying Jaygen could be. Jaygen stood up and stepped toward both of them as Foi wrapped an arm around Porter's waist.
"Don't start something you can't finish, Foi," Jaygen snarled, his teeth growing long and sharp.
Foi grinned. "Why not? What are you going to do about it?”
Jaygen was so quick Porter yelped as he jumped on Foi. The two of them fought like wild animals, growling and swearing as they fell to the floor. Porter took a step back, watching the two of them until Jaygen stood up and dragged Foi to his feet, his fingers locked into the wolf's hair.
"Both of you bend over, now," Jaygen ordered.
A shiver ran from Porter's head to his curling toes. There was his man. The deep, rumbling tone and the clear, direct order were all reminiscent of Jaygen. Porter slipped out of his clothes hastily and Foi did the same, still panting. There was the smallest grin on Foi's lips however and when he and Porter paused for a second, Foi winked.
Foi always knows how to get to Jaygen.
It reminded Porter of their time going down to the basement and how Foi had told him that Jaygen needed things like this. He could certainly see it now. After everything Jaygen had been through, he needed to be back in control.
Porter glanced over his shoulder to find Jaygen pulling off his ruined nightshirt. There were claw marks in it, long and deep from Foi. He groaned.
"Now we're really in trouble," Porter whispered. "Why'd you rip his clothes?"
Foi smirked. "Whatever works. I'm just happy to see he's back."
