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“Well, that’s a loaded question.” The guy’s confident and comfortable in his skin.
“Do I know you? And why tap me on the shoulder? I’m the one minding my own business over here.” I turn my phone off, securing my earbuds inside my wallet, taking a firmer grip on the keys in my left hand.
“That you are,Hamlet,but you see—”
“Why do you keep saying ‘Hamlet’as though we already got introduced?”
He holds his palms up to me. “My apologies. Do I detect an Australian accent?”
“Can I help you with something?” I ignore his question because I think my accent is obvious, and he is evading. “How is it that you’ve concluded my name is Hamlet?”Even though it is not.I don’t need to explain myself.
He points to the counter without taking his eyes off me. “I am assisting in alerting you. Your order is ready. You’ve had Keanu hollering and Levi trying to flag you down when you didn’t hear him hollering, although I was enjoying the tune, and I think everybody else was as well. I’m not sure you will get Simon Cowell signing you up, or the judges on The Voice turning their chairs around—”
“Okay…I get it. My singing sucks, but truly I havenoyou-know-whats to give.” I smile sweetly, turning my response into sarcasm.
“The lady issas-sy.” He laughs to himself while I choose to ignore his humor at my expense and look around.
Some of the customers are smiling at me, while two guys have a stare-off at each other (at least they weren’t listening to me), and Keanu and Levi are wiggling their fingers at me in good humor.Oh, right. The volume was loud. My bad.
“When walking into Peace, I wasn’t expecting a dance-off from Levi and Keanu—which you completely missed—and a tone-deaf pocket rocket to entertain me. By the way, what did your eardrums do to you anyway? Shame on you for assaulting them like that.”
Keanu and Levi were dancing?
I turn back to the caveman, who is still running his mouth. “You really have to stop ogling me. If you give me your phone, I can take a selfie of you and me to keep. You can print it out poster-sized, stick it to your bedroom wall.”
What is he going on about?
He folds his arms across his chest, which seems to broaden his shoulders, and he knows it.Is he posing for me?“I take it you’re single from the way I am rendering you speechless.”
I roll my eyes.
“Oooh,Hamlet, you never want to roll those pretty green eyes in front of me again. I give you fair warning, it’s a trigger for me, and I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”
Oh, man, this guy is too much.
I crook my finger.
He leans forward, still grinning like a fool who has the upper hand.
Then I roll my big ol’ eyes dramatically, curtsy, turn on my heels, putting my back to him.
I showed him!
“Here we go,” I hear Keanu singsong.
And that’s when I get spun around. A shoulder hits my belly, and then I get hoisted over said shoulder, a large hand securing me behind my thighs.
What the hell is this caveman tactic?
I growl.
He laughs.
I whisper-growl to put me down.
“Relax. I’m depositing you at the counter. I told you not to roll your eyes at me. My fair warning was my disclaimer.”
“What?” I spit out, shocked at his audacity and his reasoning for manhandling me.
