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When he finally released my lips, I asked, “If that’s how you feel, then why have you been so damn grumpy?”
Mathis let go of me and stepped away. My body rebelled, screaming at me to go to him, but I held my ground.
“It’s this place, Callie. I didn’t want to bring you here. I didn’t want to see you have to be here, in this harsh, uncivilized place. I want better for you than this, but the truth is, this place is me.” Facing me once again, he held my gaze, but now his wasn’t heated, it was sad.
“This cabin is my beginnings. My father and Uncle were born here. This is where my family started their roots, its why my uncle bought the land from Mrs. Blumberry and her husband. I didn’t want you to know I came from so little…”
When he trailed off in a broken voice, my heart contracted, and I felt hot tears sting my eyes. Blinking back the raw emotions his words stirred inside of me, I stepped forward, reaching out, I placed my palm against his cheek. I had to ignore the zap that tingled in my hand from the contact with him.
Looking into his eyes, I sighed. It was time we both admitted some truths. And if he chose to walk away, so be it. “Mathis, you are so wrong about me in so many ways. You were afraid to show me this place because you thought I would judge you and your family, yet this place, it touched something in my soul, and I feel like I belong here, it feels like home.”
Mathis stared down at me in surprise. “But…the first time you met me, I looked like someone with money, I led you on, allowing you to think that.”
I laughed. “Mathis, you’ve been to my family home, you’ve seen the chipping paint, the fences still needing mending. How many times have you seen my old truck break down?”
Mathis pulled away, turning his back on me. “That’s exactly why I needed you to know I could do better than this, that I could give you a life to look forward to.”
My heart broke for the wound to his pride. Closing the gap between us, I pulled him around to face me. “Mathis, I would be happy living right here, you didn’t have to have a big fancy house. You just have to accept me, faults and all.”
His jaw ticked and he pulled me to him. “You don’t have any faults, Callie. You’re perfect.”
I half laughed, half sobbed as I pulled out of his embrace. “You’re so wrong, Mathis. Only God is perfect.” I turned toward the window where the sky had darkened because I couldn’t face him as I spoke my next words. “Mathis, there was no need to be embarrassed by this place. It’s beautiful. Besides, after I tell you the truth, you’re going to want nothing more to do with me.”
Behind me, I heard the edge of fear in his voice. “Callie, what are you talking about?”
A tear trailed down my cheek. I wasn’t ready to say these words, but I knew I had to. “Mathis, there’s something about me you should know, something that’s going to change the way you feel.”
I let the silence hang between us a moment before I continued. “I have this…this ability. For a very long time, I called it a curse. It was a curse, because it made me different, and everyone thought I was crazy. So, I convinced myself they were right, that I had imagined all of it, and I left the place I loved. I went to New York to get as far away from my gift as possible. Then, I learned my mom was sick, so I came back, and the moment I did, that curse started all over again, and I knew, I hadn’t ever imagined it. It was as real as you or me. That stallion is the key to making everyone believe me. I was so afraid of involving you because I knew when you found out, you’d laugh and walk away just like everyone else, but with you, I am not sure I’ll get over it.”
Mathis was quiet a moment before he asked quietly, “Callie, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”
I nodded. “I know. What I’m saying, Mathis, is that I have a gift that allows me to communicate with animals through feelings, emotions. I can sense theirs and they mine. I can…use this ability to calm them, even influence them, sometimes. I am still figuring it out.”
The silence in the cabin was worse than anything. Mathis stood there and didn’t respond. Tears started to fall from my eyes because I knew I’d just lost him. Admitting the truth about myself had cost me the only man I had ever fallen in love with. I couldn’t handle the silence. On a sob, I called over my shoulder, “I told you that you’d look at me just like everyone else.” with my heart broken, I ran out the front door.
Thunder boomed around me, startling both me and the horses, and a sudden rain pelted down on me as lightning snapped across the sky. My tears turned to full-fledged sobs as I ran blindly into the storm. I was so overwrought with sadness, with disappointment that Mathis was going to be just like everyone else, I didn’t care about anything anymore, whether that was right or wrong. Ignoring a frantic Pizazz who whinnied to me in distress, I ran straight to the one thing I thought could be my salvation. I heard Mathis yell my name just as I crested the fence and landed in the corral with a frantic Dark Temptation.
The stallion was wild with fear, partially from the flash storm, and partially from my sudden entrance into his pen. I felt a moment of panic, and fear as he rushed me, pawing the ground and blowing air aggressively from his nostrils. Steeling myself, I held my ground, channeling all of my feelings toward the stallion. Instead of calmness, I funneled all of my sadness toward him. The stallion was caught off guard, confused by the sudden onslaught of emotions funneling to him, he stopped short inches from me, tossing his head and neighing in a high pitched voice.
I could hear Mathis yelling at me to get the hell out of that pen, but I didn’t care. My clothes were soaked from the downpour, my teeth chattered from the chill of the air and the cold rain, and my nerves were frayed but I felt I had to do this. If I was going to lose Mathis because I was honest, then I needed him to at least see the truth. Pulling all my abilities to the surface the best that I could, I extended a hand to the fearful horse, and stepped closer to him. I told him with my thoughts and my emotions, that I wasn’t going to harm him, that I wasn’t like those men, and he was safe with me.
Everything around us seemed to fade away. Mathis’s voice drifted away, the thunder became no more than a muffled pounding, and all I was aware of was the beat of the horses heart coupled with my own. I saw as well as felt his fear, but also, I felt his hope, his desire for human contact, for connection and safety. My hand came to rest on his obsidian forehead, the rain making his coat even more obscure. A connection sizzled between my skin and his, and both of us were buffeted with one another’s feelings. The stallion moved into the connection, lowering his head, and, unbelievably, closing his eyes in a deep sigh of relief. A sob broke from my chest, and I wrapped my arm around his finely chiseled face, resting my forehead against his. I could hardly bear the grief of knowing the horrible treatment he’d been through, and I vowed to him that no other human would lay a hand on him in violence.
During that brief moment in time, with our bodies connected, our hearts and mind working together as one, and this special, magical ability of mine allowing us to create such an unknown connection, I knew we were creating a bond. Different than the bond I shared with Pizazz, but just as powerful. In that moment, I truly believed in myself, and in this gift, God had bestowed upon me. For the first time, I was grateful for what I was given. I didn’t care if I was different, if some would always think I was crazy. I had received this power for a reason, and now I understood what it was. This was a gift of healing, to help those around me suffering, but unable to voice their pain.
22
Soaked to the bone, but with high spirits, I walked stiffly back to the little picturesque cabin. Mathis stood halfway between the corral and the cabin, water dripping down his face, dark wavy hair plastered in unruly curls around his head, and a look of uncertainty marring his handsome features. He was as waterlogged as I was, having remained there during the storm which still roared on around us. A bright flash of lightning illuminated his features, but I couldn’t bear to do more than glance briefly at him. My heart hurt from the rejection I had felt from him earlier, and though I was sorely tempted to mount my little mare and race through the storm, I knew I couldn’t keep running from my fears. This was something I needed to face, no matter how much I would hurt in the end.
My teeth began to chatter as the temperature around us began to drop from the cold front of the unexpected storm, and I wrapped my arms around myself, passing Mathis without a word, and proceeded into the cabin. I paused just inside the door, unsure of what to do. I was wet and freezing, but I didn’t have any extra clothes, and I didn’t want to ask Mathis for anything at this point. I had already been dealing with feeling dirty and having to swim in the river just to feel clean, but now, things were even worse since I had no way to get dry. My eyes caught sight of the fire roaring warmly in the hearth, so I planted myself in front of it, shivering and rubbing my arms.
The door clicked closed across the cabin, but I refused to acknowledge him, and I knew tonight would be hell, trying to ignore the fact that he was just like everyone else, and that come morning, I would have to sever ties with the man I’d fallen hopelessly in love with. My mind focused on reliving the moment with Dark Temptation, just to avoid thinking of Mathis. Unfortunately, I was hyperaware of every move he made. I listened to his boots shuffle across the wood floor, heard him opening a cabinet, then move around the cabin. I tried my best to tune him out, but my mind wouldn’t cooperate. I began to think up all sorts of reasons for the sounds I heard, and in the end, could only come up with one conclusion. He was preparing to leave.Well, that was just fine,I tried to convince myself. The tears that began trickling down my face told another story, however.
I nearly leapt from my own skin when his hand touched my back, and I barely contained the yelp that left my throat. Refusing to look at him, I stared into the fire, my lower lip trembling so hard I eventually had to bite down just to gain control of myself.
“Callie, here, drink this. You’re soaking wet, and you’re going to get sick if you don’t get dry and warm.”
My lip stopped trembling, and it took all of my strength not to look into those mesmerizing golden eyes when I took the steaming cup he offered. Turning my back to him once again, I peered down into the warm cup, noticing the rich brown color. Hot Cocoa? That’s what he had been doing, making hot cocoa? Blinking in surprise, I took a cautious sip, and the coughed and sputtered. Wow. That hot cocoa packed a punch!
