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“I need to talk to my husband, who’s just outside. Please, go get him.”
The white corridors lose their sharpness, and my head starts to feel heavy.
“My baby…”
Chapter Four
JJ
Iclench my fists until my knuckles turn white as I stare at the entrance to Red Thorn. My wife is somewhere behind those doors in a place I know she belongs, but how the fuck am I supposed to leave her here? She hates being alone.
Coming up next to me, Mason slaps me on the back and looks at the doors.
“She’s in the best place and you know it. It’s why you brought her here.”
I remind myself it’s not her, it’s the illness. She just needs a few days to get her meds working under the supervision of trained professionals, and then she’ll come back to me.
“I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier.”
“At least here, you know she’s not going to hurt herself, and she’s being watched twenty-four hours a day.”
I turn to my brother and frown.
“You care about her, don’t you?”
I’ve seen the way he is with her. It’s not flirty or anything like that. It’s a real friendship.
He shrugs, meaning to act like he doesn’t care, which only gives away more than he wants me to see.
“She’s a friend.”
“You don’t have friends,” I counter.
“Looks like I have one then, doesn’t it?” he chuckles. “She’s your old lady, but I care about her, and I don’t like seeing her this unwell.”
“What were you talking about before we left?” Harper didn’t say much, if anything, but I know he won’t lie to me.
“I told her I’d look out for you while she was away so she wouldn’t have to worry, and then she asked me to make sure you didn’t die. She made me promise I wouldn’t let you near Cas, what with him being death and all.”
Sadness washes over me, and I swallow hard.
“It’ll be different when you collect her, brother.”
He turns, heading for his bike, and I call out, “Hey, I’m glad she has you as a friend.”
He nods, and I turn my attention back to the entrance. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t get her out now.
I walk over to the car, wishing I had my bike.
Back on the road, I spend the drive home feeling like shit. I should’ve gotten her help sooner. I shouldn’t have believed I could handle her, believing her episodes would get better on their own. I’m no doctor, so I have no idea what she needs. All I know is that I need her, and I know what I need to feel good. There was once a time when one woman wasn’t enough for me. The thought of committing was a hell I steered clear of at any given cost. It was exciting, addicting, and I couldn’t get enough.
But then Harper came along, and she blew all that to hell. It doesn’t seem possible that one person can change you completely, but that’s what she did. I can’t imagine my life without her. Even the thought of it fucking hurts.
I hate how this disease is stealing my wife away from me. I hate that she’s going to be scared, and I’m not there to hold her. And I hate that I’ll have to sleep without her. I need her as much as she needs me. We’ve become one soul, and her being away from me is ripping it in two.
Angel speeds up and rides alongside me. “Hey, look!” he hollers, pointing into the distance.
I look to where he’s pointing and see five Dead Rats hanging outside Josie’s bar. Cas will have our balls if we’re seen starting trouble, but fuck it. They’re the perfect outlet for my rage.
