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“Sparks, talk some sense into your boy before I lose my mind.”
Cas walks off, and Leo follows him into the bar.
“What sense am I meant to be talking into you?” Dad asks.
“I started a fight in town on the way home from dropping Harper off.”
“Hence the bloodied knuckles.”
“Yeah.”
Exhaling deeply, I sit on top of the nearby picnic table and run my fingers through my hair, grabbing it at the roots.
“Cas was right. I shouldn’t have gone against his order. I’m fucking up everywhere I go. I finally admitted to myself today that I’m a fucking failure.”
The bench creaks under dad’s weight as he sits opposite of me. He offers me a smoke, but I wave it off.
“You’re not a failure, son. You can’t control everything.”
“I could’ve controlled today. It was my idea to stop and make trouble.”
“It runs in your blood. Don’t worry about it.” He shirks it off, then asks, “Did it make you feel better?”
I sigh. “Not really.”
It felt good in the moment, but not after.
Needing a drink, I slide off the bench and head into the bar, not giving a shit that Cas is chewing out Angel and the twins.
“Beer,” I tell the prospect.
Leaning on the bar, I grind the base of my palms into my eyes. I’m so fucking tired. I just hope I sleep through till Harper returns home.
A beer appears in front of me, and I slam down enough cash to cover the cost before disappearing up into Cas’s old room. Locking myself inside, I kick off my boots, take a long pull from my beer, then set it down on the nightstand before falling onto the bed.
Lying on my side, I dig out my wallet and pull out the ultrasound I’ve been keeping safe for the last couple of months. I still don’t know how we went from not wanting children to then being pregnant and excited to start a family. The scan made it real, and I still find myself in awe that this is really happening for us.A baby. Someone who’s going to be totally dependent on us. Someone who will look up at me the way I’ve looked up to my dad. I guess it’ll be cool to have a son, but Harper believes we’re having a girl. She laughed so hard when I recoiled at the thought. I couldn’t imagine having a daughter who’d grow up to be surrounded by pigs. I know, because before Harper, I was that pig. There’s always a high chance that dealing with the club could put me behind bars, but I feel it in the pit of my stomach that a daughter would be the reason I’d get locked up, because I’d happily kill any man who treated a daughter of mine the way they treat most women.
A knock at the door interrupts my pity party for one, and since I locked it, I haul my ass up and answer it.
Leo and Luca push their way inside. Falling back onto the bed, Leo takes the chair, while Luca leans against the wall.
“You don’t need to check up on me. I’m fine.”
Luca snorts. “Like I care if you’re fine or not.” His tone bites, but amusement dances in his eyes.
“What do you want, then? You come to clean my knuckles?” I smirk.
“You can clean your own blood. Leo said you got into it with a few Dead Rats in town.”
Sitting up, I reach for my smokes and light one up. Blowing the first exhale up toward the ceiling, I ask, “What about it?”
It’s Leo who answers. “It’s time that shit happens on the regular. Dad’s lost his mind if he thinks hiding away here is the right thing to do.”
“He’s been president for a long time. He knows what he’s doing,” I retort, rubbing my neck.
“What if we were to push back? Are you in?”
“Are you asking if I’m up for a fight?”
