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But the look on his face had scared her. And that wasn’t a feeling she liked.
Logan spun and stalked from the room. Billy stuck to his leg like the Velcro dog he appeared to be as they made their way back to the basement. Moments later, they heard the pounding of Logan’s fist on the heavy bag and Sam was glad Ernie had brought it. She didn’t know how Logan would have vented if his counselor hadn’t given him the outlet.
That didn’t stop the burning in her eyes and she blinked several times, wrapping her arms around her waist. As though she could guard herself from all the feelings hitting her so harshly without seeming to care if she buckled under them.
Ernie crossed the kitchen, stopping to squeeze Sam’s arm as he walked toward the basement stairs. Chad pulled Sam into his arms and she fell against him, letting him hold her up for just a few minutes.
She’d get her strength back in a minute, but for now, having a friend to hold her up meant she didn’t have to do it herself. She needed that.
* * *
Logan didn’t look up when Ernie entered the room. The ache in his arms was starting to cut through the haze in his brain. Ernie lowered himself to the floor of the room, the move inelegant with the prostheses. He leaned back against the wall, but didn’t say anything. Just folded his hands in his lap and waited. Well, he could wait all damned day, for all Logan cared.
Christ.Seeing those pictures of Sam had gutted Logan. Completely gutted him.
He should have protected her. He had known she was in danger, and he’d gone off and left her. His thoughts flashed quickly to Jeff, whose mom still sat by his bedside in the hospital, praying her son would wake up from the coma he was in.
Logan had underestimated these people, whoever the hell they were. And wasn’t that just the kicker?
Sam had said she knew who was after her and he was so screwed up in the head, he couldn’t even be in the same room with her long enough to find out who it was and take care of things. His issues were getting in the way of making her safe again. What was wrong with him?
He let his arms fall to his sides, but didn’t remove the gloves. Billy whined in the corner, but sat and waited, as though Logan might tell him what he needed any minute.
“Sam said she knew who was doing this?”
Ernie nodded. “She does. She and Chad gave the information to the police. They’re handling it.”
“I should be handling it. I should be up there helping her, but I can’t. I can’t trust myself not to leave here and rip whoever the hell it is into pieces. I can’t help her because I can’t even control myself long enough not to maim and kill.”
When Ernie didn’t speak, Logan went on. “You have to put on this cloak as a SEAL. You harden yourself. You’re not just a man anymore. You become a dangerous weapon. I thought I could shed that cloak when I came back. I thought I could drop that and go back to just being a man, but I can’t. The danger is still there.”
“Do you really believe that?”
Logan spun on Ernie. “Hell yes, I believe it! I didn’t even hesitate with those men. I didn’t think about whether to neutralize them or use deadly force. I just knew she was in danger and I came in and killed them all.”
Ernie murmured a speculative, but noncommittal sound.
“What!” Logan practically shouted at the man. “What the hell can you possibly say to that?”
“I can’t really say anything to it, Logan. Only you know what happened that night. I can only tell you the facts I know.”
“What the hell do you know? You don’t know shit.” Logan turned away, unable to look at Ernie. Unable to have this conversation.
Apparently, Ernie didn’t get the hint because he went on talking. “I know you have years of experience as a member of one of this nation’s most elite military special ops groups. That you honed instincts during those years that likely kept you and others alive many times, instincts that are likely well beyond those of many members of the armed forces. I know you perceived several things that night and you took them all into account. You knew Sam was in grave danger. You knew something had happened to Jeff, a heavily trained and armed man, to cause him to be away from his post.
“You knew a man with some serious artillery guarded the entrance to Sam’s home. Not your everyday, average burglar, or even a seriously armed burglar. A man with heavy duty weapons designed to kill quickly and efficiently. You knew he was standing guard at the door, which meant it was reasonable to presume there were others in the house. At least one or more persons, presumably as armed and dangerous as that man. And they were inside, with Sam.”
Logan turned his head warily, as Ernie continued, and he met his counselor’s steady gaze.
Ernie went on. “You knew how much time had passed from the initial time of entry to the time you arrived on scene. You knew what they could do to Sam in that time. You took action to neutralize the threat, Logan. That’s what you did. Sam doesn’t fault you for that. The Feds don’t fault you for it. And when this all shakes out, I wouldn’t be surprised if a hell of a lot of the people in this community have your back, too.”
Logan crossed to the wall opposite Ernie and sank down, pulling the gloves from his hands. Billy was there in an instant, laying his legs across Logan’s lap and resting his head on Logan’s arm. They were quiet for a long time.
“He’s gonna be a hell of a good service dog for you. Once you get all caught up on his training, you’ll make a good team,” Ernie said quietly.
Logan nodded. He’d keep the dog. He had started to love it in only one night.
They sat there quietly for another few minutes before Logan spoke again. “She shouldn’t have released those pictures, Ernie,” Logan said and his voice all but cracked under the anguish he’d felt at seeing Sam’s injuries. She shouldn’t have to show those to the world.
