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He responded to my silence with silence. I did not know if I could win this at all. He pulled down his breeches, and he was down to -.
“What is that?” I exclaimed. I was expecting him to wear white breeches like an ordinary man. Of course, he would not even do that.
“It is what we wear to sleep,” he said, baffled at my reaction to what looked like a white piece of loincloth.
I groaned. Okay, then. I knew Metheus seemed disgusted with me enough not to touch me. His voice had taken a judgmental tone when he said that I was fortunate not to have to display my linen. Trust men to sleep around and want their women to be pure.
My husband was also fully aware that I could kill him. So, I was not afraid he would dare do anything on our wedding night.
“Come over here, then,” I beckoned. I crooked a finger at him, making him laugh. There was no need to live with angry expectations. We could be friends. If he needed to sleep with Cora, he just needed to hide his trysts well. I did not want to be made a fool. I would gladly kill him outside the bedroom.
Metheus gingerly took his side of the bed.
“Good night, wife,” he said with a smile. Then he turned his back on me. I watched the strong muscles of his back, making my palms itch to touch them. Caress them.
Of course, I would not. I admonished myself and squeezed my eyes shut.
“Who do you pray to at night, Luella?” he asked suddenly, surprising me with his strange question.
“I – I am not sure. I do not pray to anyone at all.”
“Not to your gods and goddesses?” he asked.
“No,” I confessed. Unexpectedly, my brain wracked my memories for any sign of praise and worship. “I only praised with my family. During rituals.”
“But not alone?”
“Never.”
“Have you ever thought that maybe you should? You have so much power, but perhaps a greater power can help you tame it? You have been asking for blessings from them. We just did from many different gods and goddesses.”
He was right. I never tried. Did it mean that he also wanted me healed, just like he wanted to heal the soil? Something light fluttered in my chest. Soon, he was snoring softly to my frustration, leaving me to my thoughts. Impure ones.
One hand reached for him, then faltered.
“Are you still awake, Luella?” he asked.
“Why? Are you snoring while still awake, Metheus?”
He chuckled.
“Yes. I was waiting for you to beat me up. I did this with my sister sometimes.”
My thoughts went to his lovely sister, with her smooth caramel skin. Her hair was slightly wilder than mine, unrestrained by clips and buns. While I loved that Metheus thought of sharing an experience with a loved one, I did not appreciate being compared to his sister. Did he think of me as one? Someone to protect. Someone to love or like. But not someone to make love to.
Soon, he was quiet again. I was confident that he had indeed fallen asleep. He shifted so that he was resting on his back. His bare chest was right there, ready for my embrace.
It was only lust, I reminded myself. My lust had almost destroyed my family ten years ago. I would not have it happen again. So, I turned to the other side, facing away from him. The night was hot, and so was I.
I thought that I would at least give it a try. I turned back to face my new husband. Then, I reached for him with one arm and pressed myself close to him. His chest was hard beneath my arm. Its rise and fall calmed me down a bit, and I found myself closing my eyes.
Metheus stirred. I was afraid he would be mad at me or laugh at me. Instead, he rested his hand on the arm that embraced him. I was aware that I was heating up. Something was building inside of me, just from his touch. I tried to pull my arm away, afraid that I would burn him, but he held it back.
Was he trying to kill himself all along? Would he bring me down with him to his death?
However, as soon as he started rubbing my arm, I felt calmer. The heat abated. I could swear that his palm had become feverish, but my skin had cooled down. I did not know if it was my imagination going haywire. I was probably just tired, and he had comforted me to sleep. Soon, both of us had fallen into a deep slumber.
