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This one stumps me. Who said this? And what does the underlying message mean? That he knows who I am but he’s in love with me? The books have all been classics so I flick through them in a mad panic, managing to catch Maisie’s eye, who frowns at me, as if I’ve lost it. Which I probably have.
I get all the way down to T when a card falls out of Tolstoy. Aha, it’s fromWar and Peace, a book I’ve never been able to get through. Maybe I should try again …
It reads:
They say it better than I ever could. Love Finn
The same young boy finds me crouched by the shelves and hands me a posy of wild roses. ‘He said to meet him by the river for lunch if you’ve got time.’
I nod. Have I got time? I suppose I’m entitled to a lunch break. I usually eat at my desk, but I have to know what this all means.
‘Maisie, back in an hour.’ I don’t wait for her supercilious scowl, I grab my bag and go.
Finn sits on a picnic blanket, nose pressed in a book. When he hears my approach he looks up, a smile lighting his face. ‘You solved it in record time.’
‘Was your little spy watching me?’
‘Of course; otherwise how would I know if you cheated and googled the answers?’
I laugh in spite of it all. ‘What does it mean, Finn?’
Confusion dashes across his face. ‘What?’
‘What does itmean?’
‘You don’t know?’
AmItalking in riddles here? ‘IthinkI know, but I’d like you to be honest with me and come out and say it.’
‘A man can’t be a romantic? You’re going to make me face you and say the words, already? I thought a slow burn was the way to go with matters of the heart.’ He holds up a romance book. ‘I’ve been researching these things.’
‘What?’ Confusion reigns.
‘What I’ve been researching these things, or …?’
‘No, I mean what does it all mean? Why did you do that? Things have been so quiet between us. I felt like you’d stepped back a bit.’
Finn drops the book on the blanket. He plucks grass as he gathers himself. When he speaks again, he gazes into my eyes with such longing that it makes my heart stutter. ‘I haven’t felt this way before, Elodie. I sensed there was a distance between us too, so this was my way of showing you how I feel, through literature that you love so much. I’m wholeheartedly still in this. And I hope you are too.’
Have I read too much into it all? Certainly seems that way. But I know how crafty Finn is, and it could also be his way of telling me he knows and he’s OK with my past,by using the words of others. Again, I can’t really ask him without giving the game away. If that’s the case it’s the most romantic way to show me that he cares and he loves me for who Iamnot who Iwas. Dare I risk say how I feel? I’m usually so guarded with men but Finn isn’t any man. ‘I really like you a whole lot.’Oh my God, Ellie, are you five?
But baby steps and all that.
Finn throws his head back and laughs. Even his laugh is beautiful and melodious. Is that how you know it’s love when everything the man damn well does is like music to your ears? ‘I really like you a whole lot too. There’s one more thing.’ He leans in to kiss me, and I forget about the world, my lies and everything besides the sensation of his lips against mine. I wish I could press pause, and stay like this forever.
Chapter 20
PETE
‘I’m known as Pilferer Pete, and to be honest the name hurts. I mean, there’s no question it’s true. I steal; I steal a lot. And I never really knew why until I met Elodie the librarian. She stopped me in the supermarket one day and said she thought she understood me and why I do what I do. At first, I thought she meant that she understood I stole food because I needed to eat. But I thought about it more and that seemed too easy a guess for someone to stop you in a shop and speak up like that. Idon’tsteal because I need those things, not really. So, I spent some time thinking about the reasons why. It didn’t take long to figure it out.
‘Around town my family have always been known as “bad apples”. I hear the whispers, “Here comes Pilferer Pete, from a family of bad apples, that guy. Would steal the coat off his mother’s back if he could.” And on it goes. When you hear that kind of thing, over and again, you begin to believe it. You begin to act a certain way because it’s expected of you, you know? In a way, I’m playing a part that they’ve created. When I figured that out, I was floored, I tell you,floored. It was the first time in years that I realised I could change.I could be a whole different person. But would the town ever change their mind about me? Could I outrun the name Pilferer Pete? That’s the big question, right? And it plagued me, leading up to doing this. What if this experiment failed? What if me sharing my story made my life even worse? Then what?
‘I got to know the other human books. Sofia invited me to her house – it’s a castle really and she didn’t hide away the silverware, you know? She trusted me implicitly. And I thought, if she can trust me with all those fancy things in her house, all those valuables sitting there, maybe others can too. I can change and I’m going to prove it to everyone. I just need a second chance. And if it fails and I’m still known as Pilferer Pete, it won’t matter because I’ve made other human book friends, and they get it. They get me. They have their own problems so we’ve bonded over that. And they’re damn nice people too. For the first time since I can remember I’ve got people to talk to, people who care about me. As if I matter. If nothing else changes, then I’m grateful to know them and Elodie and Finn.
‘But you know what I think? I think this experiment is going to change the whole town, and then maybe the whole world. I’m used to standing off to the side and watching people and I can already see the mood is different. Old wounds are healing. And what else can you ask for? I guess there’s one more thing, though. There are the dreams we all have.
‘I got so small I didn’t feel like I deserved to dream. Like who did I think I was? Now I see it clearly. You have to dream big because no one can do it for you. I have a goal, a plan I want to work towards. I’ve always wanted to be a gardener, to plunge my hands into the earth, feel that connection to something greater than me.There’s something satisfying about helping things grow, don’t you think?
