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‘I understand,’ I say as my pulse beats fast knowing this is going to be an uphill battle for whoever gets the librarian position. ‘But can you place a price on a child who uses the library, a child who doesn’t have access to books at home? What if that child, who used Willow Grove library, grew up to be the person who cured cancer? Wouldn’t that be worth it then?’ I ball my hands hoping I haven’t gone too far.
‘Well, Elodie, when you put it that way …’
‘Sorry, I’m passionate about books being accessible to everyone, especially children. If we can introduce them to literature early on, the world is their oyster. They’ll always have a friend waiting on their shelves to combat loneliness. Then there’s the older members who use the library as a meeting place. If we take that away, where will they go? There’s just so many reasons we need to save the library, and for me money is not one of them, although I understand the importance of not throwing more into a sinking ship. I believe I can turn the tide, if you will. If you gave me a chance to prove it, I think Willow Grove library could have a whole new beginning, a second chance.’
She raises a brow. ‘Well, I was going to say you were hired after the price on a child thing,but now you’re doubly hired. When can you start?’
‘Is next week too soon?’ I consult my calendar, ‘Monday 8th of August work for you?’
She grins. ‘I was hoping you’d say that.’
I paste on a smile as I video-call my parents. I’ve timed it just right, so they only have a few minutes before they head off to a charity event hosted by their business rivals, Mogul Media. The families war like the Montagues and Capulets, without the star-crossed lovers part, but they keep up appearances by attending each other’s parties as if nothing is amiss.
My father’s face pops up on screen as he takes a seat at Mother’s dressing table. ‘Ellie, darling, to what do we owe this mid-week honour?’
‘Just wanted to run something by you both – is Mum around?’
He turns and calls for her, and soon the great Dorothea Astor sashays over in a glittery slinky silver gown. I have to hand it to my mother, she looks like a million dollars, with a figure meticulously honed by a celebrity personal trainer who makes home calls twice a day. Mum keeps sending her to my townhouse in the hopes I’ll start too, but I’ve seen how her torturous sessions play out and want no part in it. Mum is strict with her diet and wellbeing, living mainly on fresh air and green tea, but I’m built for comfort not calorie counting. Give me a creamy round of camembert and a classic romcom and I’m set. ‘Ellie, how are you, darling? Why do you look so peaky?’
‘You’re right, Mother. Iama little peaky. There’s never time to soak up the sun.I’m always at work or at a functionforwork. To be honest, I’m burnt out and in need of a bit of a life overhaul.’ Her eyes narrow but I press on. ‘My job at Astor, it’s not fulfilling, it’s not sparking any joy—’
‘Oh, darling, don’t start with that mumbo jumbo again. You sound like an ungrateful brat.’ She rolls her heavily made-up eyes and studies her fingernails. I’m losing her as quick as that. When it comes to attention spans, Mother’s is shorter than most, especially when I’m complaining. ‘Go on a shopping spree – that usually sparks joy for me.’
‘No, that’s not my thing,’ I hurry on, as my father stands up and wanders to the mirror to fidget with his lapels. ‘If you could listen for a couple of minutes, please,’ I say, voice brisk. They lazily swing their gazes back to the screen. ‘I’m officially handing in my notice for Astor, effective immediately. You can use my built-up time in lieu for my notice period. I’m done. I need to start living life on my own terms.’ I brace and try not to avert my eyes from her surprised gaze. She’s downright intimidating when she wants to be, but that’s the ace up her sleeve and I won’t let her win this time. Deep down I know my mother wants the best for me; it’s just that we see my future differently.
‘And throw all your hard work away on a whim?’ my mother says, her false lashes fluttering and giving her a slightly unhinged look.
‘I’ve told you so many times I want to leave.’ My resolve begins to falter so I remind myself what’s at risk here.A town without books.
There’s a ten-second silence. It drags on and on. ‘You’re not thinking straight,’ my father says, shaking his head. ‘Soon you’ll take over Astor.You’ll be in charge of it all. And we need you firing on all cylinders.’
I interrupt lest I’m subjected to some metaphor about pistons and engines. ‘That’s just the thing, Dad, I don’twantto take over. I never have. Why not give Teddy a chance to prove himself? He’s much better suited for the role.’
‘Teddy?’ My father guffaws. ‘I hardly think so. That boy is nocturnal for a start. He’s a liability. The amount of money we’ve had to spend keeping his exploits out of our competitors’ papers – it’s a disgrace!’
I manage to keep my temper in check. ‘Do you ever think he might’ve been trying to get your attention? Why not give him a chance?’
My mother tuts and gives me a saccharine smile. ‘Maybe youdoneed a holiday, darling. Clearly you can’t think straight when you’re overwhelmed and in need of a bit of R&R. Your father and I should have thought of this sooner. Not everyone can handle the pace we set, and that’s understandable. Why not take a rejuvenating break and then we can meet and discuss this once you’re refreshed?’
My shoulders slump. It’s feels like I’m in the mafia at times! But I rally. I will not be controlled anymore. I deserve to decide my own fate even if I fail miserably.
‘I’m sure we can come to an agreement that suits us all,’ my dad says quickly while Mother and I commit to a stare-off. I won’t be cowed, not this time. ‘YouloveAstor News but we’re willing to give you some time to clear your head. How about taking two weeks’ holiday, Ellie?’
‘No, you’re not listening. This time I mean it.’ I give them a sad smile. ‘Enjoy your evening.’ I shut the laptop on their disappointed faces.There’s no other way to do it, except cut ties and leave and hope that they give Teddy a chance.
Later that night I pen a letter for them:
Dear Mum and Dad,
I’m sorry that things had to be this way and my most fervent wish was that you’d listen and let me go. Having my life orchestrated is getting me down. It’s like being trapped in a very exotic cage and some days I find it hard to catch my breath. To get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other. I want to find out who I am and what I aspire to be.
I’m proud of how well you’ve built Astor and I know you’ve made sacrifices in order to do that, but I’m not the same as you. I want different things. As you know, I don’t want to take over the helm. You’ve got Teddy who’s itching to be part of the company if only you’ll let him show you. Did you know he’s been sober for six months? That he follows every move the company makes? He’s more than up to speed and he’d be an asset if only you’d let him in. I’ll be out of contact for a while, and I ask you to respect my choice. I’ve left my Astor mobile phone with Teddy. I’ll check in when I can.
All my love,
Ellie
Chapter 4
