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Chapter 35
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, life’s a bitch and beer’s a must.
I’m trying really, really hard not to get excited, although it’s difficult. Incredibly difficult. But I refuse to bounce in my seat all excited when we’re driving to Grayson’s hometown to commemorate his best friend’s death. And yes, I realize how fucked up I sound.
Before you bring out the rocks to stone me, let me explain. I’m not excited we are commemorating Bill’s death. What happened to Bill and how Grayson handled his death is nothing short of tragic. Then, why am I literally sitting on my hands to stop myself from dancing in my seat?
Because Grayson asked me to accompany him to meet Liz today. Eek! I know he told me he loved me at Easter, but we haven’t talked about it in the two months since then. Not due to lack of trying on Grayson’s part, mind you. He has brought up his love declaration more times than I can count. And I have had an onset of stomach cramps forcing me to rush off to the bathroom every single danged time.
I expect Grayson to recommend I see an internist any day now. Who am I kidding? The man knows exactly why I rush off each and every time he starts talking about his feelings. Because I’m a big fat chicken. Bwak! Bwak!
I’m working on it, promise. I’ve been practicing telling him I love him in the mirror for weeks. I have no problem telling the mirror I love it, but whenever I can sense the words coming out of my mouth in the presence of Grayson, I freeze, and panic ensues.
Hailey would laugh her ass off if she knew how tongue-tied I am around the man. Me? Tongue-tied? I can hardly believe it myself. Good thing my best friend has no idea I forget how to speak when Grayson is around.
The man himself pulls my hand out from underneath my thigh and places it on his thigh where he laces his fingers with mine. “Don’t be nervous.”
I’m not nervous. Oh shit, should I be nervous? Now, I am nervous.
He squeezes my hand. “Thank you for coming with me.”
“Of course. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
I’m not blowing smoke up the guy’s ass. I’m serious. I don’t care where I am as long as Grayson is next to me. I could be hiking through the jungle surrounded by snakes and other creepy crawlers and I’d be fine as long as the man is next to me. And if I had any doubts as to whether I loved the man, those thoughts would have cleared it up.
I cannot allow my thoughts to go down this path. I am not going to blurt ‘I love you’ out to him while we’re on the way to a cemetery.
“What’s on the agenda for today?” I ask to get my mind off emotions and feelings and all the icky stuff.
“First, we’ll meet Liz and little Grayson at the diner. After lunch, we’ll head to the cemetery to see Bill.”
“Is Bill buried in Merrill?” He nods. “Is there a veteran’s cemetery in Merrill?”
Unlike Hailey, I didn’t grow up with a father and a bunch of uncles who served in the military. I don’t know much about how these things work.
“No. Bill wanted to be buried near his family.”
“His family? Will there be other people there today besides Liz and her son?”
Now, I am starting to get nervous. Don’t get me wrong. I usually charm the daylights out of families. I’m the fun sidekick after all. But this is a serious occasion. I can hardly laugh and joke and be klutzy when we’re remembering the death of Grayson’s best friend.
Grayson squeezes my hand. “His family as in his wife and son.”
I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Good. No family to impress.
“We’re here,” he announces as he parks his truck in front of an old-fashioned diner. “Don’t worry. I’m sure Liz forgives you for ambushing her.”
My jaw tenses and I snarl at him. How dare he say those words right before we walk inside to meet her? Oh, he is mean.
“I’m teasing,” he says as he helps me out of the vehicle.
I slap his shoulder. “You are not funny.”
“I’m a little funny.”
I purse my lips. “Whatever.”
He chuckles as he takes my hand, and we walk into the diner holding hands. As soon as the door opens, little Grayson shouts and runs to us. “Uncle Grayson!”
