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“Aw, you’re making me blush,” she said, embarrassed. “I just don’t see myself like that. I’m not glamorous, and I don’t feel glamorous.”
“It’s my job to make you feel like the beautiful woman you are,” Jason said, his voice quavering. “I’ll work on it.”
She didn’t want to keep whining, but it was going to be awfully difficult for him to undo twenty-five years of Herbert Fairchild’s damage.
“It’s really not your responsibility to make me have self-confidence. It’s not fair to you, Jason.”
“I love you, so I’ll take it on. Trust me, I’m the doctor, and the doctor knows best.”
“Ha! Well, I guess it’s true, the doctor does always know best. So what do you prescribe?”
He thought for a moment. “Maybe start changing your inner dialogue. Tell yourself you’re beautiful. You already have proof you’re smart. You’re kind and loving. And you’re great in bed.”
“I am?” she asked, turning away, embarrassed.
“You are. I can’t wait to get into bed after church. It’s a little sacrilegious!”
Laughing, Lily loosened up. “I’m always so uptight. Don’t give up on me.”
“There’s nothing to give up on. You just need a little encouragement.”
“I wish I could transfer what drives me in the courtroom to everyday life. I have no issues with self-confidence in court.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I’m ready for anything,” she said. “My nickname is Ever Ready Fairchild.”
“Oh, is that right? Well, I’d better step up my game, then.”
“You’re doing fine,” she said. “I know how lucky I am.”
“I’m going to park in the garage. Do you mind walking over to the church?”
“Not at all,” she said. “After that dinner, I need some exercise.”
They walked the two blocks to the church. Christmas music played from a speaker outside the casino, where gamblers streamed in and out, even on Christmas Eve.
When they got to the church, John and Poppy waited in the narthex.
“I can’t get used to gambling on Christmas Eve,” Poppy said.
“My mother said that when she was growing up, nothing was open on Sunday or the holidays,” Lily said. “If you ran out of something, you were simply out of luck until Monday rolled around.”
“That’s so true. I don’t like this.”
“It’s a new day,” John said. “Let’s go.”
The smells and the candlelight were familiar to Lily already. They slid down the pew holding hands, and before Lily knew it, she fell asleep.
Early Christmas morning, Lily woke up before Jason did. She was completely refreshed. Falling asleep in church the night before had turned out not to be such a big deal; Poppy, Maria’s husband Scott, and Ted were out cold, too, until the singing started. Lily loved Christmas carols, but these were unfamiliar tunes sung in Greek.
The walk home woke Jason and Lily up, so that by the time they were in the apartment, they dove at each other, unbuttoning buttons and unzipping pants. It was a wild coupling with no preliminaries, unhampered by the earlier religious service. Sitting next to Jason, Lily could smell his aftershave, and it further seduced her so that she was more than ready for him.
Listening to Jason breathe solidified her wish that there was a way they could get out of going to Suzette and Herbert’s and just laze around all day. Rolling on her back, she watched the shadows on the bedroom ceiling compete with the lights from the casino. More quickly than she’d thought possible, Jason’s apartment was home for her. Although she knew they’d move someday, she’d be content to stay there forever. Trying to imagine the future with him included fantasizing about moving to Philadelphia. It was a possibility that she readily accepted. It would put her far enough away from Suzette and Herbert that weekly visits would be out of the question. She’d keep her fingers crossed.
Sneaking out of bed, she went into the living room to resume reading her book with a cup of tea. Sometime after eight, she fell asleep curled up in the chair.
At eleven, a disheveled Jason came wandering out of the bedroom naked, looking for her.
