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“Can I come in?”
“Aw, no. I’m not ready to expose you to this body.”
“I love your body.”
“And I love yours, but no.”
Reluctantly, she shut off the water. The plushy towel after the bark she had to use in the hospital was wonderful. Stepping out of the stall, it hit her full force with a full-length view of her postpartum body in the mirror.
“Yikes,” she mumbled, seeing the whole thing for the first time.
Her belly had gone down considerably, but she noticed something she hadn’t been able to see before; below her navel she had stretch marks hidden from her eyes when there was still a baby inside. She didn’t mind the changes, knowing some of them, like her gigantic breasts, were temporary. The stretch marks were just a sign that she was a mother.
It was foreign, dressing in her beautiful bathroom, like being in a fine hotel after the grungy green tiled bathroom in the hospital. She brushed her teeth for an extra minute. Wet hair wrapped up in a towel, she closed her eyes, a combination of relaxation and exhaustion washing over her body.
After the steamy bathroom, the cool bedroom felt good. Dave sat up in bed, reading. The baby was in his little three-sided bed, sleeping.
“I’m afraid to lie down.”
“Why? He’s fed and dry. Try to get a little snooze in.”
“I should accomplish something now that I’m home and he’s sleeping.”
“Tonight, rest. It’s your first night home after a long absence. It must have taken a lot out of you to have company, too.”
“The visit was okay. I’m glad I got to see Tina and for them to see David. What’d you think of their baby?”
“I’ll admit, I had to fight a little jealousy.”
That broke her heart. She sat on the bed, reaching for his hand.
“Dave, I’m so sorry. It’s probably natural to feel that way. But Maggie said something today that resonated with me. She said they won’t realize Tina’s strengths and weaknesses until later, either.”
“It’s not that I want anything less than the best for their daughter. I guess I’m jealous that they just have to say here, we have a kid, and we have to make the announcement that our kid has a special addition.”
“Aw, I’ll try to word it nicer than that,” she said, giggling. Reaching over to the crib, she laid her hand on the baby’s stomach to make sure he was breathing. “Look at him. He’s perfect! I’m going to take a picture of him to include in the announcement.”
Dave leaned over to gaze at the sleeping baby. “Heisperfect. You’re right. I’m being a jerk.”
“No, you’re not. You’re just scared. It’s fine. We’re on a journey here and I’m sure we’ll learn something about ourselves each day.”
That night the baby woke up at three to nurse. Katrina had gone to bed when Dave suggested so she woke up at three refreshed. She picked up the baby, grabbed a diaper and a few other supplies, and headed for the living room.
After changing David, she put him to her breast and began to rummage in the cabinets below the bookshelves for a package of birth announcements she’d purchased months ago, already addressed and stamped. She had filled out all the information she could ahead of time: parents, sex and name, and just had to add his birth weight, length, and date of birth. Then she wrote at the bottom.
Our baby, David, came with an added surprise; he has Down syndrome. He’s doing great and, as you can see from the photo, is adorable.
She added a link to an online Down syndrome site that had been particularly beneficial to her.Thank you in advance for all your support.
The baby snored and pulled away from her. “Okay, buddy, you’re going to bed.”
Tucking him into his own bed in their bedroom took on new meaning that morning. She got into bed about four a.m. and fell sound asleep.
The next morning, Dave woke up at seven thirty. Katrina and the baby were out cold. Tiptoeing out of the bedroom, he carefully closed the door. The bells of Saint Anthony Padua rang out over the village. They weren’t going to make it to mass that morning; it was too hot to take the baby out and he was too new.
The morning routine of making coffee with Katrina and the baby in the bedroom sleeping, brought him peace he didn’t think was possible. When they were separated for the weeks she was in the hospital, the unease and worry never let up.
He sat at the counter with coffee and a laptop to read the news of the day. Over the past weeks that Katrina was in the hospital, he’d prepared his staff for his absence. He’d be available for daily advice and crises, but he was not leaving Katrina and the baby unless there was a national emergency.
