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Seth scoffs and I jerk my head towards him, nearly giving myself whiplash. He looks so unconcerned, like this whole discussion is grueling—like a rock in his shoe. It’s cruel, even for him. He smirks at us, leaning against his locker while raising an eyebrow. “You’re kidding, right?” he asks while looking between us. “Why would you want to get her back? She was a bitch to you.”
My mouth gapes open. A part of me agrees with Seth. What Charlie did was quite crappy, and Mike is right to be angry. Maybe lying to her about keeping her a secret was a bit far, but honestly I have never been in that situation, and it’s hard to judge. Even I may retaliate the same way. However, Mike still… likes Charlie. I don’t know whether to call it love, but he still wants to be with her. What right does Seth have to judge him on that? And why is he looking at me like that—like I’m the one being an idiot?
“Well,” Mike starts, his brows pinched together in confusion. He looks pained as he stares back at Seth, as if the whole world is crashing around him. “I still have feelings for her. We can still work this out. It’s just some miscommunication issue.”
“Yeah,” I say with a nod, cringing inwardly at how dumb I sound, like I’m only agreeing with Mike because of the issues Seth and I have between us. Is Seth really the type of person to throw away a relationship when things get hard?
What am I thinking? Of course he is. That’s exactly what he did to me after our whole kiss incident. He freaked out when he realized I wasn’t going in to kiss him and decided to shunt all his feelings under a rug, leaving me to deal with the aftermath. My hands quiver with anger and I fist them, trying to real in the rage burning inside. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Seth and I are nothing. We date the same girl, that’s all. We’ve never really been close. Whatever friendship we had begun recently… I should let him go. He isn’t important to me.
I wish I could hold onto that thought, but even as I think it, I know it’s a lie. Seth is just as important to me as Rachel is, and that scares me. I’ve never felt so close to a guy. Never. Not even to Lucas. And what makes it worse is Seth doesn’t even care.
“If you’re having issues now, it will never work,” Seth says with a knowing nod. “You should cut your losses and move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
My nails dig into my palms. “Would you do the same to Rachel?”
Seth shrugs. “Rachel and I don’t have communication issues.”
“Oh, really.” I tilt my head and cross my arms, forcing a smile which feels more like a scowl on my face. “You never had communication issues with Rachel? Not even in the beginning?”
Seth sighs, his shoulders slumping. He looks annoyed, which means my question has hit a nerve. Based on the way he’s acting, I can only assume he and Rachel did have some issues all those years ago.
“I think, Mike,” I continue while turning my back to Seth, “you should pursue Charlie. Preferably in person. Get her some flowers, or try to speak with her one-on-one. Explain how she made you feel.”
Mike bobs his head while Seth groans. “I think you’re making a big mistake,” Seth says in a sing-song tone. “You know she’s just going to be even bitchier, or have you wrapped around her pinky for the rest of semester until she finds some better guy to fuck around with.”
“Maybe that’s what you would do,” I say while glancing over my shoulder at Seth.
Seth is turned towards his locker, taking out his bag, but he pauses at my words and gives me a dark glare. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I think you know what I mean.”
Seth slams his door shut and throws his bag onto the bench. “No. I don’t. Please explain.”
“You’re not the type to give second chances,” I say with a shrug.
Seth takes a step toward me, his hands fisting as if he’s about to punch me in the face. I hold my ground. Seth doesn’t scare me. He’s small, and even though he’s put on weight, he’s still lanky. I could pick him up and slam him against the lockers if I wanted to.
In fact, that’s not such a bad idea. I imagine him pressed up against the locker, his lips parted, his nostrils flaring and the thought of it has my insides growing hot in a completely different way.
“And what type do you think I am, Alex?”
Seth is standing so close to me. His dark eyes hold mine. He looks pissed, and there‘s a part of me that’ enjoying this entirely too much. I think this is the most attention he’s given me since Thanksgiving and I don’t want it to end. And then there’s the part of me that hates him for being an asshole, for giving up too soon without considering my feelings.
“The type that gives up too easily,” I say without thinking.
Seth’s eyes widen and I wonder what he’s thinking right now. My words didn’t mean anything. At least, I don’t think they did. I can’t say for sure. My head is a mess these days and I don’t even understand my feelings where Seth is concerned.
“Well, maybe there’s no future between Charlie and Mike,” Seth rushes out. “Why would he stay with her if she doesn’t share his feelings? Why would he stay with her if they’re only going to break up in the end?”
“How do you know that?” I hate the shrill in my voice. I feel like we are talking about something completely different. This isn’t just about Mike. It’s about us, and it’s weird having this coded argument with Mike and our teammates watching.
“I just know!”
“How?” I shout, taking one step closer to Seth until I’m towering above him. He’s so close. It would be so easy to grab him, but I don’t. Not with everyone watching.
“You know what,” I say while turning on my heel, grabbing my coat and bag, not caring I’m still wearing my track gear. I will deal with it later. I can’t stay in the same room with him, not with these strange feelings. “I’m done.” I slam my locker shut and throw on my coat before slinging my bag over one shoulder. “Mike, do whatever you want!” I don’t dare turn around. I stalk out the locker room and into the cold, the door slamming shut behind me.
The wind gusts past, but I can hardly feel the chill. My feet take me up the sidewalk, slipping on the ice. I catch myself quickly. My anger and frustration guide the way. I can’t believe he’s telling Mike to give up. The poor guy obviously still has feelings for the girl, which is why he brought her up. I wish Seth would talk more about his feelings, but I guess he’s like the other guys—a complete emotional robot. The one time I saw him actually be a human being was during Thanksgiving, and then he shut me out. I’m so over his bullshit. He can rot for all I care.
