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Lucas rolls his eyes. “I barely sold any books, Seth. No one else will know, or care.” He rubs his temples while he shakes his head. “Jesus, Seth, are you really that self-centered? Do you really think people will care that much about what you do in your personal time? Or I guess, in this case, who you do?” He shakes his head. “No one is going to care.”

“I care,” I say while flipping open the book to the passage I read before. I clear my throat dramatically and read, “Shane scowled at Adam as he paced him on the track. Adam had the audacity to glance over his shoulder and wink, spurring Shane into running faster. They always had a rivalry on and off the field, and though, Shane was still suffering from a broken heel, it didn’t matter. All that matter was beating Adam at his game.”

I snap the book close and throw it on the counter. It slides toward Lucas before stopping at the edge. Lucas doesn’t bother to lower his gaze.

“If Mike knows, the entire team will know,” I say. “He will tell them.”

Lucas groans. “No, he won’t. Mike isn’t like that.”

“He will,” I say while slamming my fist down on the counter.

Lucas shakes his head. “Is this really what you’re worried about? What about Rachel?”

I laugh darkly and turn around. There’s no point in talking to him. He will never understand my point of view, or care. It was pointless coming here. I stalk toward the door, deciding I don’t have to answer him. I don’t know what to do about Rachel. I’m still pissed, and I will remain pissed for a very long time.

“Seth, come on!” Lucas shouts. “Come home already. Rachel is worried. We’re all worried.”

I pause, watching as Mike comes in, huffing and puffing. “Jesus Christ,” he gasps. “I need to stop drinking so much.” He pushes his glasses up while he makes his way past me toward the counter. I hear him grab the book and I glance over my shoulder, finding him cradling it close to his chest, like it’s his security blanket.

“Great book, man,” Mike rasps. “Really enjoying it.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” I say darkly before stalking out the door and nearly running straight into someone. A bag falls and the person in question nearly falls onto their ass, but I grab them, my arms encircling their waist and as I pull them close, my eyes widen. They prickle with tears as I take in Alex’s appearance. His eyes stare back at me. His expression mirrors mine—shocked, overwhelmed, sad.

I instant release him and take a step back. If I don’t leave now, I’m going to cry. I can still hear our fight, how bitter and disinterested he sounded.

“Seth,” he starts, “how are—”

I turn on my heel and shake my head. I need to get to work. I’ll take an extra shift—anything to busy myself from thinking about Alex and Rachel, the two people I held closest to my heart.

But not anymore. Rachel lied to me and Alex got sick of me. Now I have no one. Not even my friends, who are siding with Rachel. I’m alone in this world, and the only one I can trust is myself. That’s the one thing I have learned in life, the one thing my mother taught me.

In the end, all we have is ourselves.

Chapter 20

ALEX

Ican’tbelieveSethjust left without saying a word, I think while cramming another sweater into my duffel bag. It’s supposed to be cold and windy in Chicago today. A driver is supposed to pick me up from the airport and take me to my hotel… or dormitory. I suspect Susan found the cheapest place for me to sleep at for the next week. And after I settle in, I’m supposed to get drinks with the other models. Tomorrow morning is going to be rough with a six start time in the morning. But it will be fun.

I just wish I could have Seth by my side. I wish I could tell him about my adventures. Although, the last time we discussed my career it didn’t go so well. And now… we are officially broken up. I keep telling myself it’s better this way. He’s gone anyway. I keep looking into his room every time I pass it, hoping he’s returned home only to find it empty. He hasn’t come to get his things, which gives me hope. I wonder if it’s just a matter of time. Breaking up with Seth right after discovering Rachel is pregnant wasn’t the best timing, but break ups are never fun. It was time I moved on anyway. We weren’t ever going to be anything serious. Not with the way Seth kept wanting to hide us. If he does decide to stay, how am I supposed to act? How are we supposed to get along?

I will have to figure that out if we ever get to it. One problem at a time. I groan as I recall running into Seth the other day. He looked so horrified like he was about to cry. I wonder if he’s been eating well. He looked like he lost some weight and there were dark circles around his eyes. He’s probably partying way too much with Mike. That must be it—living up his single life, enjoying his time with the ladies… or the men.

Stop it, Alex, you’re being negative. I inhale deeply, closing my eyes and counting to ten, willing Seth’s image away. I’m about to go on an adventure. This will be the start of my career. I should be focusing on that. Not on Seth. Breaking up with Seth was the right thing for me to do. I should have no regrets. He was never going to allow us to come out to Hunter and Lucas. It was getting a bit toxic anyway. Now, he can do what he wants, and I can focus all my attention on my career and Rachel. She’s going to need all the help she can get.

“Alex!” Hunter calls. “I’m leaving with or without you! Move your ass!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” I call back while throwing my duffel bag over one shoulder.

I stalk toward the staircase, pausing outside Seth’s door. Peering inside, I find it once again empty, with his clothes on the floor, and his bed unmade, just as he left it. Something inside me twists and all the excitement and joy of starting a new adventure dissipates. Pain coursing through me as I stare at his room. He needs to come home. He needs to talk to us, tell us what he’s going through. I know he thinks there are two sides in this and we’re taking the one opposite his, but that’s not the case at all. I understand his anger. I understand he feels betrayed by Rachel for keeping her secret.

But Seth doesn’t want to talk about it, so I won’t push it. Neither will Hunter and Lucas. He has to come to us. That’s the only way. If we go to him, he will only continue to ignore us. I know I’ve left him at least a dozen messages if not more. All we can do is wait.

It’s good I’m going to Chicago. At least I have that to take my mind off things. Seth will be fine, I tell myself while turning away from his room and running down the stairs. I hear the car start, and for a second, I really think Hunter is going to leave me.

I smile when I find Rachel waiting outside. The trunk of Hunter’s car is open. He’s inside, sitting in the driver’s seat while Lucas is in the back—both waiting for me, staring out the window and looking annoyed.

“Sorry,” I say with a shrug while walking toward the trunk and throwing my bag inside. “Thanks for waiting.”

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