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Shit, shit, shit. This isn’t happening.
“Unbelievable.” My ex murmurs, turning around and heading straight for the door.
“Kayleigh, wait!” I follow closely behind her.
The two of us run out the door, down the porch steps, across the yard, and into the street. I can hear everyone else swarming out the door to see what’s going on, but I don’t care. My focus is on her.
“Please, don’t leave! You have to listen to me.”
She stops, and I need to react quickly to keep from running into her. Her face is beat red as she yells at me. “What, Holden? What the hell do you want from me?! You want me to be your emotional punching bag? The girl you can push away and pull back when it’s convenient for you? I’m not a god damn boomerang! I’m not always going to come back when you do something fucked up. If that’s what you want, then go be with one of the mindless freshman that fall at your feet, because that’s not me.”
I’m shocked, but I need to say something. “That’s not at all what I want, and you know it.”
“No. I don’t know what you want. I don’t know anything when it comes to you anymore. One minute you love me, the next you’re leaving me at a bar in Cabo or telling me to snort something up my nose. I can’t keep up with the back and forth, and I’m not going to pretend I can. So just tell me, what the fuck do you want?”
“I want you.” I tell her honestly, ignoring the tear that escapes from my eye.
She takes a step back, unconvinced. “Yeah, for today.”
“No.” I press. “Not just got today. Forever.”
Looking as if she thinks about it for only a second, she exhales and shakes her head. “I don’t believe you.”
She turns around and starts to walk away, and I feel as my entire universe is crashing down around me. She’s walking away, again. I’m losing her, again. I can’t. I need her. There must be something. We need to be together. She’s my everything. She’s my future.
“Kayleigh!” I shout, completely frantic. She stops, telling me she’s listening, but she doesn’t turn around. This is it. My last chance. Fucking say it. “Marry me.”
She stays ridiculously still, and the seconds pass slower than anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. Finally, after what seems like forever, she moves. However, she doesn’t turn around like I hoped. Instead, she drops her head down and walks away – not even stopping once to look back at me.
She never answered.
I stand there, watching her until she fades into the darkness. All the pain I had last week - hell, over the last ten years - pales in comparison to this. She was my entire world, and I ruined her. I ruined us. There is only one thing to do now.
Turning back toward the house, I see my closest friends looking at me sympathetically. I avoid eye contact as I push past them, ignoring their comforting words and mumbling that I don’t want to talk about it. When I see a couple full bottles of hard alcohol on the counter, I gather them up in my hands before retreating upstairs and into my bedroom.
The pain is unbearable, and the only thing I can think to do is numb it. I bring the bottle to my lips, chugging until it’s completely gone. Ignoring the burning sensation in my throat, I toss it to the floor and grab the next one. I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve anyone.
The next day, I woke up in the hospital with a killer headache and had no idea how I got there. The only thing I noticed was Kayleigh, sound asleep with her head on the bed next to me. I hushed the doctor when he came in to explain everything. As far as I knew, the sooner she woke
up, the sooner she would be gone again. I was going to take every second I could get.
“Hey.” She greets me, her voice laced with sleep.
I pull myself from my thoughts and remember that she’s mine again. Since that day, she hasn’t left again, and I just needed to be patient. To be honest, she could have made me wait years and I wouldn’t have even considered walking away. Thankfully, it didn’t take that long.
“Good morning, beautiful.” I turn my head and place a soft kiss to her forehead.
She smiles tiredly before laying her head on my chest and falling back asleep. I don’t mind. I’d lie here all day if that’s what she wanted. I’m just glad she’s back in my arms.
I SEE MY PHONE light up, Brandon’s name appearing on my screen. I excuse myself from the conversation in the kitchen and go into the living room.
“Hey, man.” He says as soon as I put it to my ear.
“What’s up Bran?”
He snickers into the phone, telling me he knows something already. “May have just heard from a little birdie that you and Kayleigh are back on.”
I chuckle. “A little birdie by the name of Emily?”
