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“What? No. I want to be in the room.” He tells her.
“Please don’t take him.” I beg.
She smiles softly. “I’m just taking him to get into scrubs. The room needs to be sterile.”
“And then he will be with me?”
He watches her nod and then turns to me, placing his hands on my cheek. “Every step of the way, remember?”
“Not going anywhere.” I confirm.
My husband walks away, following the nurse. The others push me into the cold, bland room. This is not the room I imagined my daughter being born in – completely bare of any emotion or warmth. It’s terrifying.
An anesthesiologist comes in to give me an epidural. I’ve seen videos and pictures of the large needle, but nothing is like seeing it in person. However, compared to the intense pain I’m in, it’s as insignificant as a pinch.
As soon as he’s done, they lie me down on the metal table. Holden comes in dressed in blue scrubs. I’m not going to lie, if he wasn’t a hockey player, I’d want him to become a doctor. He can make anything look good, but those scrubs look hot.
The nurses set up a large blue sheet, hanging it so I can’t see what they’re doing near my stomach. I hold my husband’s hand, frightened of what’s to come next. My daughter is about to be born seven weeks early.
Please, God, let her be alright.
Chapter 30
My eyes blink open, feeling the throbbing ache in my lower stomach. It’s nothing like the pain from earlier, but it’s not comfortable. I turn my head to see Caleb, Jason, and Jo all playing on their phones. I groan slightly as I try to sit up.
“You’re awake.” Jo acknowledges as she looks up at me. She pockets her phone and comes closer. “How are you feeling?”
“Sore.” I glance around the room. “Where’s Holden?”
“He’s in the NICU with the baby. I’ll text him and let him know you’re awake.”
“Do you know how she is?”
She shakes her head. “He’s been in there since I got here. You’re not allowed to touch your phone without having to wash your hands after, so he hasn’t been texting much.”
Memories of her being born flood my mind.
“Are you ready, Mrs. Rivers?” The doctor asks.
I stare into my husband’s eyes and mumble out a yes, squeezing his hand as tightly as I can. The doctor starts to poke around, asking if I can feel it but I don’t feel anything anymore. Everything is completely numb, even my legs. The smell of the room is nauseating, but all I’m focused on is waiting for my daughter’s cry.
“Almost there.” He tells me, lowering his voice to address the other doctor and nurses. I can hear metal tools moving around and asking for things – none of it matters though.
“Mr. Rivers, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”
Holden looks to me and I nod, releasing his hand so he can follow their instructions. When he comes back to me, he smiles with tears in his eyes. “She’s beautiful.”
“Why is she so quiet?” I ask.
“Wait for it.” The nurse assures me calmly.
A few seconds later, a soft cry fills the room. My heart grows ten sizes just at the sound of my daughter’s voice. I can’t fight the tears that release like a waterfall. They clean her up and wrap her in a light pink blanket before handing her to Holden.
“Say hello to your baby girl.” He whispers as he brings her closer to my head.
Her big blue eyes stare back at me. She’s completely angelic and so very small. I kiss her forehead as I peek up at Holden. The way he looks at her is the same way he looks at me but more. I find myself instantly falling deeper in love with him. The bond between us only intensified with the birth of our daughter.
“We need to take her to the NICU now.” The woman breaks the news as lightly as she can manage, waiting for Holden to hand the baby back.
