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“Okay, so what are you saying to me?”
“Lock…” She finally said my name, which was something that used to make my chest swell. But now it made me feel as if she was just another person I used to know. It was pissing me off. This wasmyMJ, the woman that had my heart. That changed my life, made me a better man. How could I feel so…so…empty?
“Youwere my lifetime,” she admitted softly. “But I’m not yours.”
I frowned. “How can you say that to me?” sitting up taller in my seat. I wanted to feel rage for the words she spoke. But fuck, I didn’t.What the hell?
“Because it’s true. Take a look at the house right there. That’s your home. That’s where you belong.”
“That’s not my house.”
“Yes, it is, and you know it. You feel it in your bones.”
I glanced at the house, stared at it, the feeling of contentment, of safety and completion filled my soul.
She went on. “I want you to let me go. You’re holding on to a past you can’t relive. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You’remysoulmate, but I’m not yours.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” I glanced back at her before returning my eyes to the house that seemed more familiar to me as time ticked by. It was calling out to me. “I don’t know if you lost your mind in heaven or—”
“I have every faculty I’ve had living and then some. Your life isn’t in this car with me, it’s there.” She pointed to the house that we were parked in front of. “I need you to go and live your life to the fullest because you know more than anyone that life is too short. In a blink of an eye, it could be all gone.”
“I’m not afraid to live my life, MJ. Despite what you think, I’m doing just that. Just because I—”
“Please Lock, stop lying to yourself and me. I deserve so much more.”
The tone in her voice caused me to tear my eyes from the house and look at her. She was frowning, those blue eyes of hers turning almost black.
“You’re no more living than I am. I don’t know why you’re holding back.”
“I’m not holding back. That’s what you don’t understand. I’ve married the love of my life. I’ve experienced a love that was once in a lifetime. Don’t you understand that? No one could measure up to you, MJ.”
MJ sighed, glanced down into her lap before she brought sad eyes to me. “Oh, Lock. You have no idea, do you? Sweetheart, do you know the saying ‘people come into your life for a reason, a season, and a lifetime?’” She didn’t wait for an answer; she went on. “Well, for me you were my lifetime. The time we spent was unbelievable. I used to thank God every day and night for you. I experienced love I’ve never felt before in my life. And honestly, it wasn’t just from you. Your brother was amazing. And Ayana… Oh my goodness. That woman taught me how to love with a fierceness just by watching her love Brad. That’s the kind of love you deserve, Lock. That’s what a lifetime looks like.”
I took her hand in mine and squeezed, ignoring the way my heart ripped apart from our connection. “And you were my lifetime. You are my lifetime.”
“No, baby. I’m not. Yes, you were mine, but no matter how hard I tried, I could never love you the way you deserved to be loved.”
“Dammit, listen to me,” I interjected gruffly, frustration bleeding from my voice but for different reasons that confused me. “That’s not true. Being with you made me a better man. You taught me how to love, how to open up. Made me believe in love.”
She chuckled. “You had the worst examples.”
I smiled. “Yeah, I did. But you changed all that. Don’t you see?”
She covered our union with a warm hand. She looked deeply into my eyes. “I loved you the only way I knew how. Was it enough? Yes, but only for the time that we were together. But there’s someone out there that loves you a trillion times more than me. She knows you inside and out. Knows what you need even if you don’t. You’re her lifetime, but the difference is that she’s yours too. If you stop for a second and let go and truly allow your heart to beat, you will hear who it’s beating for, and I can assure you it’s not for me.”
I let go of her hand and leaned back from her. I glanced back at the house again and stared, doing exactly what she said and letting go. Sure enough, this familiar pull captured my heart.
She leaned into me and whispered, “You see, it doesn’t matter that I’m here next to you, you can’t seem to take your eyes off that house. What does that tell you?”
The cab grew silent for at least a full minute before I admitted softly, “What if I lose her? What if somethinghappensto her? I won’t survive that.”
“I know,” she returned softly. “Make sure you don’t lose her. Give her your heart, Lock. I promise you; you won’t regret it. She’s the one for you. In fact, you already know what I say is true. You’ve known for quite some time. You’re holding back and I’m telling you to stop. I’m good. I’m better than good. I give you my blessing to love again. To live again. If you don’t, I’m going to come back and hide socks so you can’t ever find them.”
I grinned, but my eyes stayed glued to this house. “Loving you was a blessing to me.”
“I know it was. Believe me, I do. Now go be a blessing to someone else.”
I sighed before opening the door and stepping out of the truck. I glanced back and gave the love of a season,myseason, a half-smile.
