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DREAM
The events of that evening and the morning after were more than I could process all at once. My evening with Evan and Jay had been like nothing I’d ever experienced before. And my morning with Jay had been special and unexpected. I felt a true connection with him, one that I’d never shared with anyone else.
Jay dropped me off at Clarissa’s, leaving me with a kiss and a promise that he and the rest of the brothers would see me again soon. As I watched his truck disappear around the bend, I found myself thinking something odd.
Last night had been great. But I didn’t want only two of them at once – I wanted them all.
It was a scary thought. Was I becoming some sort of addict, some perved-out sex freak who’d need more and more extreme acts to get me off?
I couldn’t help but laugh at the idea as I stepped inside the apartment. That wasn’t the case, and I knew it. It was more that I was crazy about the Wolf brothers, and only having two at once, while nice, reminded me that there was a third, one who could make the pleasure even more exquisite.
“Morning!” I shouted into the apartment. But there was no response. “Yo, you here?”
I glanced outside, spotting Clarissa’s car. But as far as I could tell, she wasn’t home. A quick check of her bedroom revealed that she was gone. And I knew her well enough to know that it meant she was either pulling a morning shift at Blueprint, or that she was currently in the bed of her latest paramour.
I plopped down on the couch, knowing that I needed to get to work before too long. But the conversation I’d had with Jay stuck with me. He’d dealt with some serious shit with his dad, problems that made what was going on with me and my mom seem like nothing.
I made myself some coffee and thought it over. And by the time I had the mug in my hands I was certain of two things. I needed to stand up for myself with Adam. I needed to make it clear that we were over, once and for all, and to tell him to screw off like I had wanted to when he confronted me in town. And secondly, I wasn’t sure where things were going with the Wolf brothers, but I was excited to see what laid ahead for us. It made what I was about to do even easier knowing what it felt like to be truly cared for by not just one man, but three.
I took out my phone and pulled up his number. It was time to pull the trigger, to get it all over with as soon as possible. Sure, I could’ve done it with a text. But I wanted to speak to Adam and make sure he got the picture.
“Hey!” said Adam. There was friendliness to his voice, the same friendliness I’d noticed the other day when we’d spoken in person. But after being around the Wolfs, guys who were authentically warm and kind, I could detect a fakeness to it that I hadn’t noticed before.
I took a deep breath and began. “Hi, Adam. I’ve been thinking about our conversation.”
“Yeah?” The friendliness turned into eagerness.
“And…no.”
“No?”
“No. We’re done. And truth be told, I’d be happy if I never saw you again. I think it’d be best for you to fly back to Chicago sooner than later.”
There was silence. And then a weak, “oh.”
For a moment, I felt like I was being too rough on him.
“I’m sorry if this is coming off cold or rude, but I want to be as clear as possible. What happened between us is over, and I’m starting my new life here in Charmed Bay. And you’re not going to be a part of it. Do you understand?”
More silence.
“I…I understand.”
“Good. I don’t want to see you again before you leave, so please respect my wishes. Goodbye, Adam.”
“Goodbye.” He said the word with a strange, almost robotic tone.
If he felt anything other than the odd detachment I was hearing from him, I didn’t care. I hung up the phone feeling victorious; I hadconquered a difficult task and won. Sure, there was still the matter of him getting his ass out of town without bothering me. But I’d cross that bridge if I came to it.
I went over to the window that looked down onto where the ocean met the bay, the scene peaceful and inspiring. I sipped my coffee with a smile on my face, happy beyond measure to have finally put the Adam situation behind me. It was almost as if the closer I grew to the Wolfs, the more strength I found within myself.
But I didn’t want to think it over too much. Besides, it was time to get to work.
And Christmas was coming up, something that I kept forgetting due to everything else going on, but I finally allowed myself to be excited about the upcoming holiday.
Coffee in hand, I stepped over to the coffee table and sat down, opening my MacBook. Once the screen was open, however, I realized there wasn’t a chance in hell I’d be able to get anything done. I was too distracted thinking about the Wolfs, about the conversation I’d had with Jay concerning his father, and Evan regarding all the work stuff we’d had planned.
So, instead of working, I opened Slack and typed a quick message letting the group know that I was going to be out for the day, but to be in touch if there was an emergency. As soon as I hit “enter” a profound relief washed over me.
