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Josh
I’ve been lying here for hours, replaying the events of the night. Emily cried herself to sleep in my arms. Her rest has been unsettled, plagued with constant stirring. My hand mindlessly runs up and down her back in attempts to soothe her, to calm her. For the first time, I’m guilt-ridden after ending another’s life.
I’m not sorry for killing Whitney. The bitch deserved it. No, I don’t feel guilty over her. I feel like shit because I lost control and let Emily see me do something so horrendous. It’s one thing for her to know I’m capable or even willing to do such a thing, but it’s completely different for her to witness me in the act.
I’m shocked she’s still here. I’m so afraid that she’s going to wake up and what I did will suddenly sink in. She’s going to see how too-fucking-good for me she is, and she’s going to want to disappear again. I’ve never been afraid of anything like I am of losing Emily, of having her fear me.
I’ve made so much progress with getting her to trust in me. To trust that I’m not ever going to hurt her like she has been. How can I expect her to trust that fact after what she saw?
It’s almost dawn. I’m running on no sleep and I have to go into the fucking office in two hours. I haven’t told Emily about the emails or threats.
Until yesterday, I didn’t think too much of them. They were disturbing and fucking pissed me off. It wasn’t until I saw the evidence left behind of what that sick fuck is capable of that I got scared. That I grasped how real the threat to Emily is. How am I meant to leave her side, knowing that some sick fucker is out to get her? Knowing exactly what he will do if he does get to her?
What I don’t understand is the why. Why the fuck is he so hell-bent on getting his hands on Emily? The sooner I pinpoint the connection and determine what he wants, the sooner I can plan how to draw him out and erase the fucking prick.
“Mmm, did you sleep at all?” I look down into the depths of Emily’s blue eyes staring up at me.
“A little,” I lie.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to tell you how sorry I am,” she says. I wish she would get it through her head that she doesn’t need to be fucking sorry for shit.
“Emmy, you have nothing to apologize for.” Leaning down, I connect my lips with hers. The moment I do, all my worries get pushed to the back of my mind, my thoughts clear. The only focus is the feel of Emily’s soft, plump lips on mine. The sparks that ignite throughout my body. Her scent all around me. I drown in all that is Emily as soon as our lips connect.
Emily pulls away from the kiss. I can’t help but pout at her. I want those delicious lips. “I’m sorry for what you had to do to protect me. I’m sorry I’ve brought so much trouble into your life. It was never my intention.”
“Emmy, I fucking love you. So damn much. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect you. There is no one I wouldn’t slay to ensure your safety. Fuck, even God will have a damn fight on his hands when he tries to claim his angel back. Because I guarantee you: I am one devil who won’t give up on you.”
“Ah, pretty sure my chances of heaven have long since passed. Don’t worry, we’ll both be going to the same place.”
“Babe, you haven’t done a damn thing wrong. You are an innocent survivor, who fought her demons and won.”
“Then why doesn’t it feel like I’ve won? He’s winning even now. His death hasn’t stopped my hell. I’m still hiding out. I’m still running. I just want it to be over, Josh. I’m tired of being scared.”
“It will be over soon, Emmy. I promise. And then, you and I are getting that white picket fence. We’re going to fill stables with horses. We’ll have dogs, cats, sheep, chickens… Fuck, I’ll get you a damn alpaca if you want one. We are going to have the future you’ve always dreamt of. The future I’ve always dreamt of.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Haven’t you heard? I’m always right.”
Emily’s laughter feeds my soul, illuminating the sombre mood we were both in. Her joy is the best medicine. And it’s contagious. I want to hear it all damn day.
“Babe, get up. Put on some swimmers and a sundress. Pack a hat and sun lotion. We’re going out for the day.” I roll her off me and jump out of bed with a sudden burst of energy. I’ve just decided that Emily and I are spending the entire day together. It’s my mission to hear that laugh of hers for the duration.
“Where are we going? Don’t you have to go to work?” I can feel her eyes on my naked ass as I make my way into the closet. Turning, I catch her checking me out.
“Em, my eyes are up here.” I smirk, pointing to my face.
“I know, but that ass, Josh. It deserves attention.” She laughs.
“Fair call. We are going everywhere. Ever been a tourist in Sydney? That’s what we are today, just regular old tourists, exploring a new city.”
“Okay, but is it safe for me to be out like that? What if someone recognises me? What if today’s the day they plaster my face all over the news? What if the police are looking for me?”
I walk back over to her, taking both of her hands in mine. “Breathe, Emmy. You are safe. You are okay. We’ve looked, remember? There is no record of you being wanted by the police. There is no record of a murder, or a body being found. There is only one rogue ex-cop looking for you, Em. We will be fine. I swear I won’t let him get anywhere near you.”
* * *
“Can I drive?”Em asks with a huge-ass smile on her face. My heart literally palpitates. Is she serious? She wants to drive my car? I’m so fucking torn over wanting my car to remain in one piece without a fucking scratch, and giving her what she wants.
