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She joked about me giving her something to remember me by. Yeah, I wanted that too. I wanted to give her so much to remember me by that she won’t be able to think about sex without practically moaning my name.
I want the next sorry fuck who tries to put a hand on her—
“Rux, you’re growling,” Cammy pants, her hand on my bare chest as I sink into her full length, shift my hips in that way that makes her lips part and her breath catch.
—to be so inferior to me that a hand isallhe ever gets to put on her.
“Oh God… I can’t…”
Shecan. I’d get her there faster if I was behind her, but I won’t give up being with her like this, face to face. So I dig deep—
“Mmmm…again.”
Her wish is my command.
“Rux!” And then she’s there, giving me my personal best for number of times getting her off. But this time, I can’t hold off. This time when our eyes meet and her body comes hard around mine, I let her take me with her. I follow her over the edge, holding on to that contact, that bond, that feeling of connection on a level I shouldn’t have with this girl, but will hold close to my heart for the rest of my days.
Minutes later, her head is resting on my shoulder, hand over my heart.
How am I going to give her up?
She takes in an even breath, and then another. And when she peers up at me, my heart breaks.
“I know you have too much going on right now. And the last thing you need is something edging its way toward a relationship when it wasn’t supposed to go like that. But maybe, it doesn’t have to be theend.” She bites her lip, barely meeting my eyes. “Maybe just once in a while, if the mood strikes us, maybe we could—”
“No.” Jesus, one word has never cost me so much. “Cammy, we can’t. As insanely good as this feels.” Better than anything I’ve ever had in my life. Especially the part where I hold her after. “It isn’t what either of us needs right now.”
It’s almost the truth. It’s the best I can do for her.
The nod she gives me is tight against my chest, and I know it’s not what she wanted to hear. That I’m hurting her feelings, but I need to do the right thing here.
Another breath, this one deep and full, and she sits, looking at me with a smile. “You’re right. I know you are.”
She leans down and presses a soft kiss to my lips, and when she sits back, she’s not mine anymore.
* * *
Cammy
Rux hadan out-of-town game the next day and was back the day after. He stopped by when Matty was around, and if I’d been worried about things being weird or different between us, I shouldn’t have. Rux came in like he always does, full of energy and excitement. An easy kiss at the top of my head and that brief one-armed hug that had always felt perfect, at least up until the time when I discovered how good the two-armed or even full-bodied varieties could be.
It was normal.
It washarderthan I expected, simply for how seamlessly Rux slipped back into the role of just friends.
I should have been grateful. I mean, what kind of jerk wants to see someone they care about suffer? I don’t. Seeing Rux unhappy is almost as bad as seeing my boy in pain.
And the rational part of my brain knows that this ease is the best thing that could’ve happened. For me, for Rux, and most importantly for Matty.
But maybe some small ugly part of me wouldn’t mind an hour of things not being quite so comfortable between us. A small sign that on some level, he misses being with me the way I miss being with him.
But no.
It was just that easy for him to let me go.
Just like it had been for Jeremy.
So we hung out. We goofed around. And then Rux left for a five-day road trip.
