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“I’m going to be a big sister!”
I laugh and nod.
“But it’s not Daddy’s baby,” Kylie says with a frown.
I shake my head hesitantly.
“No, it’s not.”
I brace myself for the question. Whose is it? How did this happen? Why didn’t she know what was going on? I’m not married; I don’t date…
“Am I still a sister then?” she asks instead.
“Oh,” I nod. “Yeah, of course. I’m your mom, right? And I’ll be the new baby’s mom. So, yeah, you’ll be a sister.”
Kylie beams. “That’ssocool.”
I laugh and cuddle Kylie closer.
“Mom?” she asks. “Why was it scary to tell me that?”
“Because it’s always been you and me, sweetheart. And I was worried you wouldn’t want to lose that.”
“It’ll still be you and me, though, right?”
“Of course. Always. But we’ll just have another team member.”
“Like when Daddy used to be here. When we were three.”
“Right,” I say and I try not to get too emotional.
“So…is my new brother or sister also not going to have a dad? Like me?” Kylie asks.
Her question is innocent and she blinks big blue eyes at me. My chest tightens.
“Just like you,” I say in a hoarse voice.
Kylie thinks about it, and then she nods. “That’s cool.”
“Is it?” I ask.
“Yeah. When my brother or sister has a tough time, then I can help, because I also understand.”
“You’re such a ray of sunshine, baby girl,” I said and squeeze Kylie tightly into another hug.
Kylie sits back and digests the new information. While she thinks, my mind wanders to Mason. But I push the thoughts of him away. I can’t do this to him. I meant what I said to Dianne—I won’t trap him, and I can do it by myself. I’ve already done so much more than I thought I would be able to.
I can do it again.
“Mom?” Kylie asks.
“Yeah?”
“Do you want to do art together?”
I nod. “I’d love to do art together. But you should get dressed first, and we should have breakfast. Can’t be creative on an empty stomach. We have cereal.”
“Okay, cereal then art,” Kylie agrees.
