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But I want her to be right, too. Because if she wasn’t, that would mean Rachel won’t truly be mine.
I don’t want to lose her.
But I don’t want to be the reason I lose her, either.
“It’s going to be okay, Blake,” Rachel says.
“How do you know?”
“Because it feels right. And if it feels right, it is. This is the first time in a long time I feel at peace with where I am, and that means something.” She looks up at me. “Tell me this doesn’t feel right.”
I can’t tell her that because it’s true—this feelsright.Like it was always meant to be that way.
And how do you walk away from something as perfect as this?
I don’t have the words anymore. And I’m done thinking, done worrying. Right now, I want to lose myself in Rachel.
So, I do. I kiss her. When I slide my tongue into her mouth, she runs her hand up my chest and around my neck. She presses her naked body against mine, and my cock responds, getting hard for her again.
When she throws her leg over my body and straddles my hips, I groan. She sinks onto my cock, her body tight and delicious. And I stop thinking about my past, our future, and anything in between. I get lost in the way she rocks her hips, the way her breasts jiggle, and her eyes lock on mine.
She doesn’t just fuck me.
She makes love to me.
And the way she does it makes me want to believe that there’s hope, that there’s a future where I don’t have to live in constant fear of myself and who I might become.
She makes me want to throw caution to the wind and love recklessly, fuck passionately, and wake up with her in my arms to do it all over again.
Chapter 18
Rachel
When I wake up, Blake and I are tangled together. He smiles when I move.
“Morning, beautiful.”
I kiss him. It’s only a weekend in this cottage together and already I feel like this is what we are. I know that we’ll have to go back to reality. But I don’t want to think about that right now.
All I want is to lose myself in Blake and our weekend together.
“What time do we need to be at the brunch?” I ask.
Blake glances at the time before he groans. “In half an hour.”
I giggle. “Shower with me; it will save time.”
Blake’s eyes widen and I see him shaking off the dregs of sleep. He sits up, his eyes becoming dark and primal. We don’t have time for sex in the shower. If only.
We walk to the bathroom together. Blake turns on the hot water, and when steam fills the bathroom, we both step in under the spray.
Blake is a sight to behold. He trains hard, and his body is muscular and sculpted, something from a dream with the water cascading off it.
We lather up a sponge with soap and take turns washing each other. We might not have time for sex, but getting soapy and clean together is just as erotic.
By the time we turn the water off, I’m ready for yet another round with him. And by the looks of his erection, he’s ready for it, too. But we have to get dressed.
We can come back to this later.
