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My hands itch to touch her, but by some miracle I keep them at my sides. I have to stay strong. “You do. You do mean more.”
Birdie takes a step forward, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears. “Then why are you leaving?” Anger lingers in her words, and I can’t even blame her.
“I failed you. I can’t put you in danger again. You deserve better, so much better.”
She shakes her head vehemently, her eyes now hard. “Is this why you’ve been so quiet? Why you won’t touch me? You didn’t fail me, Liam. You didn’t!” She cries. This time she touches me, her hands trembling on my cheeks. “You can talk to me, Liam. Please, I—”
“Birdie, I can’t lose you. And by staying I’m putting you in harm’s way.”
Her fingers grip my cheeks. “You’re speaking crap, Liam! You realize how stupid you sound? You saved me. You got me out of harm’s way. And now the threat is gone. And if you leave, you’re losing me. If you stay, you have me Liam. You fucking have me!”
I place a hand over her trembling one. “This is all my fault. I can’t risk doing something that could put you in danger again. I have someone coming to replace me that will make sure you’re safe.”
A broken sob escapes her throat. “You keep me safe, Liam. You! I don’t want someone else.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, because I really am. I’m sorry for the heartbreak I caused her, for the damage I’ve done. I’m also sorry for leaving this way, but I need to do it now before I give in. This is for her own good. I know it is.
Tears roll down her cheeks and I know it’s time to leave.
“You don’t have to do this, Liam. We just found each other—and I love you,” she sobs softly.
A lump forms in my throat. “I—” God I want to say it so badly, but I can’t, not now. “I’m sorry,” I say instead.
Her hands quickly drop, and she takes a large step back. I watch as the woman I love is replaced by someone cold right before my eyes. “Get out, Liam.”
“Birdie…” But the words die on my lips.
“Get out, Liam. You’ve made yourself perfectly clear. Have a nice life.”
I want to reach out and comfort her, but I know better. I’ve made my bed, now I must lie in it. I grab my bags and walk out of the bedroom, my heart thumping in my ears. Birdie doesn’t follow, and I can’t help but wish she did. Wish she’d beg me more, slap me or tell me how much she couldn’t stand to be without me until I broke down. But this is what I want. This is what’s best. Right?
As I walk down the hallway of the hotel, I can’t help but feel like I just made the worst mistake of my life.
thirty-six
Birdie
Thecurtainsopenandthe bright sun hits my face. I cringe while a noise of protest leaves my lips. “You’re evil, you know that?”
Wren stands in my line of vision, her hands on her hips. “I’m here to help take your blues away, not support your vampiric activities.”
I snort. “I’m just trying to get some sleep.”
She rolls her eyes, “Kevin told me that you’ve been sleeping all day in the dark since Nashville.”
I huff. “Notallday.” Which is true. I’ve gotten out of bed for rehearsal and small meals of toast and coffee. My stomach still can’t handle much else.
“Come on. Get up, shower. You have rehearsal soon and then we’re going to the spa for a little pampering.”
My eyebrow lifts. “You planned our day?”
“Duh. Without Ben here you have to keep me occupied. Gia said she cleared your schedule, so besides rehearsal, you’re all mine, crazy biotch!”
I can’t help but smile at Wren’s cheerfulness. Despite having told her to cancel her trip to see me, I’m glad she came. But sadness nags at me because she lost out on the chance to spend time with Ben. I can tell that she’s also struggling to not speak about Liam. So far, the only time she slipped was to tell me that Ben stayed back in New York to be with him. I’m glad for it too. I just don’t want to know anything else.
“Just tell me there’s coffee and eventually pizza involved.”
She clicks her tongue. “Duh. Now get your depressed ass ready. I don’t want to be late.”
