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“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I just said. I’m overwhelmed and scared out of my mind,” I whisper, wringing my hands together. “I’m so sorry you’re like this now. I wish you weren’t in this position.”
Tamia surprises me by opening her arms and engulfing me in a hug. Lucian growls and tries to snatch me back, but I stomp on his foot and hold my cousin tighter. She smells of burnt roses and something spicy like pepper, but it’s not bad. Lucian obviously gave her more power than other demons because of me. She didn’t have to earn her place to come to the Mortal Realm.
“I’m sorry too. I swear, Ray. I was tricked into letting the angel possess me. They showed me horrible things and convinced me that you were in trouble. They told me that Elias was purposely going to damn you and that you would be a slave for all eternity in Hell. They told me if I allowed them to take my body and sacrifice myself, we would both go to Heaven.” Tamia’s voice cracks, the new softness reminding me of her growing up.
“Except they didn’t realize that I would push you into Hell,” I say, the memory flooding me with wild, dark emotions.
“I don’t blame you for doing that. I would’ve done it myself if I had control. I deserved it.” Tamia eases away and meets my gaze, her demon façade now hidden again. “I want to make things up to you. I want to try to rebuild what we had. I miss you. I can’t imagine spending eternity without you, and I will do anything I can to see to it that you get what you want.”
I had no idea how much I want that until she says it out loud. I have missed her too. I wish I could go back and change things, but all I can do now is try to manage how things are in our future. Now that I have a new awareness of what’s going on, I can prepare and help Tamia prepare.
I slowly bob my head as my thoughts click together. I wonder if she can help me in Purgatory. Maybe she can be my right hand. I would love it and love knowing that she didn’t go to Hell just because of my anger. Maybe this was in the plan all along.
“You have nothing to make up for,” I say, peering around the bar. “And I want to start over. I want to have you in my life. I could use your support right now.” I touch my hand to my stomach. “I’m so fucking freaked out.”
Tamia hugs me again. “I’m here for you. Anything you need, I will see to it that it gets done. I will fuck up the entire angelic army if they even try to touch you.”
I laugh in exasperation and shake my head. “I don’t want you going anywhere near those bastards. I don’t trust them.”
“You are not going to start treating me as if we’re kids again, are you? Do I need to flash my freaky-ass horns again? Because I’m pretty sure that you’re the one who needs to stay away from those assholes.” Tamia shivers as she shows me her crown of horns once again. “Like that bastard outside. He’s such a creep.”
I cock my head and stare over my shoulder at the glowing light coming in through the kitchen window. “That’s not Zade,” I say, looking at Lucian. “That’s your fucking brother.”
Growling, Lucian says, “Go to Andre. I’ll be right back.”
Lucian storms away, but I race after him, grabbing onto the back of his shirt to keep up. He tries to spin to get me to stop, but I hold on tighter and force him to slow down.
“I said go to Andre,” Lucian says, scowling at me.
“No, I’m going with you. I know you’ll protect me.” I say what I do to get under his skin. It makes him more confident in his power. And I’m right. I know he’ll protect me. He’s fucking Satan, after all. “I want to see him. I want to confront him, and I know you will help me get answers. I’ve been waiting for this moment. You were not going to leave me out.”
“You know I’m never going to fucking call you princess with this kind of behavior, Ray,” Lucian mutters. He grabs my hand and squeezes my fingers far more tightly than necessary. But I don’t react.
Instead, I wiggle my free hand. “Well, I don’t give a fuck about that. Give me a damn fire chain. Now. I’m going to whip Cass-hole until he breaks.”
“So aggressive. I love it.” Lucian summons a fire chain and holds it out to me. “I want you to go out front, and I’ll go around back and grab him. Then you can do whatever the hell makes you feel better. Who knows? Maybe he will break. He is afraid enough.”
“Wait, do you want me to go out alone? Are you fucking kidding me? What if he tries to fly away with me?” I hate how my tough-ass attitude suddenly dwindles, and I slow my pace. Even with the fire whip, I don’t feel as if I can protect myself from someone like Cassius. All he can see is what he thinks is supposed to happen and nothing else. He probably is losing his shit, knowing that I’m pregnant.
“What happened to my tough little princess?” Lucian grabs my chin and leans in, staring deep into my eyes. “Don’t let an angelic bastard intimidate you. He will not grab you. I bet he will only try to convince you to do the right thing.” Making a face, Lucian tries to sound like Cassius and makes fun of him. “Which we all know you’re too stubborn to listen to anybody, but especially someone who’s trying to boss you around. So, toughen up, get that whip ready, and distract him. If you don’t, it’ll be me who breaks the bastard. And I know you’ll be disappointed that you don’t get to participate in the fun.”
It’s like he knows me on a deep level that I don’t want to admit is there. Lucian is right. I don’t want him to do anything to Cassius. I want to be the one that gets him to jump from grace. If he falls from Heaven, it’ll be because either I pushed him or because he jumped. He will swallow his damn pride and realize that I will take Purgatory, and he will be a fucking king of Hell even if it’s the last thing I do as a mortal.
Inhaling a deep breath, I straighten my shoulders and stride forward toward the door. Lucian smacks my ass, and I startle at the sting, jerking around and lashing the fire chain at him. He hops out of my way with a laugh and rushes toward the back of the bar. I meet Andre’s gaze as he stands next to my cousin. He’s been quiet this whole time, that it was easy to lose focus on him. But now that I see him, I feel a lot better. He’s watching me, and he will fight for me if Cassius tries anything.
I curl and uncurl my fingers at him. “Will you come stand by the door? Don’t tell Lucian. But I am a little nervous.”
Andre nods and offers me a smile. “I was going to already. I know you can handle yourself, but I will always be your backup in case.”
“I’ll be here too,” Tamia says, following behind Andre.
I use their presence to fill me with strength and turn toward the door, where I can still see Cassius and his heavenly glow. I do hope I wasn’t wrong and that it is him. Because if it’s a guardian...
I spot the familiar bastard, and my nerves turn into a wave of rage. It’s like my feet take on a mind of their own and rush me outside. I don’t look around for other angels. All I do is glower at Cassius as he stands out in the open at the end of the parking lot.
He uses his heavenly power and turns the world around me into shadows as he shifts me into an alternative realm between somewhere. I don’t really know. It’s not the first time he’s done this, but I know he does it to try to keep the devils away long enough for a moment of my time.
“I know Lucifer is coming around back. I can also sense Andre right inside. So, I’ll make this quick, Raven. I know you rejected Zade and refused to go with him, so I’m going to give you a chance to come with me. If you do that, I promise you that you will be safe. No one will hurt you, and no one else has to be hurt because of you.” Cassius unfurls his wings and spreads them out wide, the bright white of his feathers sparkling even without any light around set them aglow.
