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I sigh and shove my phone back into my pocket. They can handle all this bullshit. Kinsey needs me now, and I’m not letting anything else get in the way.
“What is it, Desmond?” Kinsey asks, bumping her shoulder to my side. “Is it Wilder?”
Getting my feet to move, I continue to guide her up. “Yeah, but it’s all good. My brother can handle him.”
Her eyes gloss over with uncertainty. She must sense the fury and fear permeating from Enzo.
“Don’t worry, Kinsey. It’s going to be fine.” If only I wasn’t possibly lying...or that she actually believed me.
Chapter 17
Kinsey
The Past
Thebrilliantfullmoonshines overhead, lighting the deck aglow. Desmond ignites the firepit and drapes his jacket around me, combating the cold. From the rooftop of Enzo’s condo, I drink in the view of the glittering city lights. We overlook a small valley that seems to go on forever. I can’t remember the last time I saw something so magical. I had forgotten how beautiful and peaceful a city could look from the outside when the world seems frozen in time.
“Look what I found,” Desmond says, shaking a container with what look like marshmallows. “I know you have a sweet tooth.”
“You want to roast marshmallows? It’s been forever.” Who knew something so small could bring me so much excitement?
“With that smile, we’re going to roast at least twenty.” Desmond chuckles and gets me to switch spots with him, letting me sit on his lap, his warm chest helping keep the cold away.
I grin and take the long wire from him, jabbing it through the marshmallow. I set it on fire, waiting until the outside crackles and smolders, turning black. I blow it out with a laugh, knowing he might judge me for scorching the whole thing.
Desmond pinches the thick wire, carefully plucking my creation from the end. “Arsenio’s going to love this. You char them just like him. He swears it’s the best way.”
I take a bite from his fingers, humming with the sweet, gooey center exploding across my tongue. “I’ll fight anyone who argues otherwise.”
He peeks at me, his eyebrows raised. “Is that so?”
I shake my fist in his face. “Absolutely.”
Poking my sides, Desmond tickles me, and I screech with laughter. I fly from his lap, but he doesn’t let me get far, pulling me back to him to press his lips to mine. My giggles fade with my oncoming desire, and I twist to straddle his lap, combing my fingers through his soft golden-brown hair.
There’s just something so comforting about Desmond. I feel more in control with him. Every gesture and movement is purposeful. I’m not acting on my lust or pheromones. I’m acting on my pure enjoyment of his company and how he makes me feel as a person.
And not once has he pushed me about my past or demanded answers. This is the moment I’ve feared facing. He should hear about my history from me and not continue to guess based on old news articles or discover shit from men sent to capture me. He should know exactly what he’s getting into with me, especially with Enzo’s claim. This could change his expectations and desires, but I need to lay it all out to each of Enzo’s brothers, so they can decide for certain if they even want me to be their omega. They wouldn’t have had a choice in any other circumstance, but it’s not unheard of for only one alpha bonding and the others choosing not to. My parents were like that. Maybe it led to my uncle betraying my dad because of it.
“I can’t get enough of you, pretty girl,” he murmurs against my mouth, leaning in close, his anticipation hot with his arousal. “I wish I could give you everything you need like my brothers can.”
His yearning to be an alpha and disappointment about his true order resonates behind his words, their true meaning opening an ache for him. I’ll never grasp what it’s like for him, being a beta among alphas, but I can do my best to assure him how his order doesn’t define what happens next.
I meet his brown eyes, the amber depths shining in the firelight. “Desmond, you give me something your brothers can’t. Unaltered, pure emotions grown from time without influence of pheromones or anything else. I wouldn’t change anything about you.”
A smile stretches across his mouth with my admission, and he grazes his lips to mine, teasing and testing me, filling me with enough love and desire to send my heart racing.
I’ve already known my whole life that I would be loved and claimed by a pack, but I never imagined anything like this. The equality despite the orders they manifested into. They’re protective of Holly, but they also don’t treat her like a resource to gain power. They don’t treat Desmond as less than because he’s a beta. And they don’t fight over who is in control. Even though Wilder can be hotheaded, he never demands anything that’ll jeopardize his relationship with his brothers. He’s nothing like what I’ve seen of the king.
“Thank you for saying that. You’re so beautiful and caring, Kinsey. I’m so happy you’ve come into our lives. I want you to know that. I don’t give a fuck about your past or any decisions you’ve made to protect yourself. All I care about is that you’re safe and that you know that I’m here. You can tell me anything in your own time. There’s nothing you can say that would be a dealbreaker for me. I’m sure Enzo has already said as much, but we want you in our life. We don’t care about any arrangements my father could come up with. We’re not going to fall in line. I’m not going to accept just a life as someone who can’t have the same power as an alpha, because I know that’s not true. You’ve solidified it. We might not be able to knot, but we can still bond.” Desmond kisses me again, snuggling me close, savoring my attention as if he’s starving for it. And maybe he is. Maybe seeing the way Enzo and I were together awakened something inside him and he wants the same feelings.
“That’s all that matters to me. You can fulfill me in your own way. You’re just as strong and amazing as your brothers. Your dad is an asshole for thinking anything less than that. I want you. I want everything you have to offer me in hopes that you’ll let me take care of you too, Desmond. I don’t think I feel this way just because of your brothers either. You’re so incredibly sweet and handsome. You’re exactly who I need.” I rub my palms across his cheeks and down his neck, pulling him closer to me as I slide my tongue into his mouth. The terrors of today fade into a faint memory as I lose myself to his affection. Because he’s right. The past can’t get me. I need to focus on the here and now and the future. One I’m willing to fight for.
“I feel so lucky, Kinsey. I want you to know that.” Desmond doesn’t get carried away despite the feeling of his body awakening beneath me. I don’t think he will either, not unless I make a move first, but it’s more than about the lust and desire between us. I just want to lose myself in the comfort he brings me. How safe I am in his arms. How open and honest I want to be.
And I know he’s waiting for answers from me, and I finally feel ready to give them.
So I look into his eyes and prepare to spill my soul to him. Desmond proves he’ll ensure that the memories I share don’t destroy me. How I know? Instincts. A feeling so palpable that my heart doesn’t even race as I think about the day my uncle set my family home on fire and took me away.
