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Chapter 21 - Ben
I ended the online meeting with the top editors ofMountain Living, pleased with how things were going.
They’d accepted me without any fanfare or recriminations about why I’d taken so long to get on board, and seemed to think my ideas were good. Just the fact we were all on the same page and floating ideas for articles rather than stressing solely over advertisers was positive. I knew if the reason the magazine was floundering was because it had lost its life, then we had to inject it with new life.
I had already emailed a long list of companies who made climbing gear asking if they’d be interested in sponsoring reviews and already had responses from three of them, eager to partner with us.
“See you tomorrow,” Mr. Crenshaw,” one of the staff photographers called as I signed off.
I pushed away the dread of having to get on a plane the next day, and the sadness of leaving this amazing place. It was time to go and face my team in person and really get things started, despite wanting to stay hidden away a little longer.
Will continued to message me constantly after I kicked them all out the day after they arrived. I loved my niece and nephew, but their constant bickering and inability to sit still for more than eight seconds was too much for my battered mood after Laurel ended things the way she did. I promised I’d follow them back in a day or two, and now a week had gone by. I was too rejuvenated by the views, the hikes I challenged myself to every morning, and all the great pictures I was getting.
I wasn’t ready to leave, still hoping to get a glimpse of Laurel when I was out on my hikes, half scared I’d see her about to fly over the side of the cliff. I knew all I had to do to see her was drive down to town and order a damn baked potato, but that was something I was much too scared to do.
If I saw her again, my resolve to end things cleanly would be shattered. I’d probably drag her into the diner restroom, I was still so hungry for her. No, I wasn’t over Laurel at all, and it was torture staying away. I wanted to see her one last time and the urge to scour the mountain until I found her nearly overwhelmed me. I only had to hold out one more day. Tomorrow morning I’d be on my way back to real life. The thought left a sour taste in my mouth, so I concentrated on the one thing that had started to fulfill me again, besides Laurel.
I clicked on the printer Ruby had shipped to me and waited for the sunset photos I’d taken the night before to come out, adding them to a storyboard I was creating forMountain Living.When I was reasonably happy with it, I took a little break, staring at my phone on the coffee table as if it were my worst enemy. If I grabbed it, I’d start looking through Laurel’s content, yearning to talk to her and touch her like some lovesick teenager.
But on the other hand, I’d found out a lot of things about the culture she was involved in through her social media. Things that I could use to make the magazine more interesting, be better in touch. I found most of the companies I approached for partnerships through her links. I wasn’t stalking her.
Not much, anyway. When I discovered she’d put a call out for leads on a used car, it took all my willpower and a firm lecture from Will not to set it up for her. If she found out I arranged something like that after flatly refusing a plane ticket to New York to visit, she’d be furious. I admired her drive to be independent while only wanting to shower her with everything she wanted and needed. Eli came up with the great idea to buy her a nice car and secretly resell it to her for a ridiculously low amount, but Will shot it down as being dishonest. I knew he was a better person to listen to than Eli as far as relationships were concerned and scrapped the plan.
I was already torturing myself thinking about her, so I figured scrolling through her pictures wouldn’t hurt that much worse and finally grabbed my phone. The second my fingers touched it, there was a loud knock at the door. I dropped it guiltily, then laughed. It was probably just another delivery from Ruby. She couldn’t stand the thought of me going a day without something to remind me of how great our fair city was, and kept me stocked with fresh pastries and deli meats.
When I swung open the door to see Laurel standing there I thought my eyes were deceiving me. Did I wish her here? She looked just as shocked to see me, then her face went stormy.
“You’re really still here?” she asked, shaking her head.
I wanted to reach out and tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, then pull her in for a kiss. My own reaction to her made me angrier than her words and tone.
“I told you that you could do your stunt,” I snapped. The hurt look on her face made it worse. I had thought I was suffering by staying away from her, but being close to her again and not being able to touch her was worse. But that wasn’t her fault. I forced myself to take a reasonable tone. “Sorry. But, why are you here?”
My reasonable tone didn’t cut it apparently, because she gave me a very pissed off look that did nothing to stop my urge to kiss her.
“No one’s seen you in town for a week. I thought you might have starved up here.”
She was looking for me around town? Asking about me? I forced down the hope her concern made me feel. It didn’t matter in the long run. My time was up here, despite how well work was going.
“I’m fine,” I said, closing my eyes when she snickered. “I really am. My brothers cleared out the store when they were here and my assistant keeps sending me food. You don’t have to worry about me.” She kept standing in the doorway and I finally pointed behind me to the kitchen where I had all my work strewn on the counter. “I have to get back to work.”
Instead of taking the hint, she stood on her toes, peering over my shoulder. “That looks really good,” she said, barreling past me to study it. “This shot of the sunset is stunning.” She seemed to realize she was in the kitchen all of a sudden and blushed. “I guess you’ve been getting a lot done.”
“I guess we’re having a conversation,” I said, filling up the kettle. “Want a cup of coffee as long as you’re here?”
She didn’t miss my slightly sarcastic tone, but sat on a barstool and accepted my offer while continuing to look through my work. “I love this idea for product reviews from people who actually climb. I can never tell if they’re honest if they’re from some faceless editor.”
I was pleased she thought so, being part of our target audience. “I was actually going to have someone reach out to you to see if you wanted to do it.”
She scowled. “You couldn’t just ask me yourself? Aren’t we friends, at least?”
I sat down across from her, looking her over. I didn’t think I could be friends with her. Too painful. I shrugged. “I don’t know. I care about you.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
I concentrated on mixing up the instant coffee, not sure I could admit to her what I felt. I guess it was the fact I was working again that gave me the boost of courage to go for it. If I kept breaking out of my comfort zones, maybe I’d be back to normal again.
“Caring about people can end up hurting,” I said slowly. “If you lose them.”
