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When I looked into his eyes, I began to shake my head.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you care, Ethan. It gives me false hope for something that will never happen, and it only breaks me more.”
Sadness overcame his face. “But I…I do…I mean I—”
“Don’t. Please.”
“Why?”
“Because you are killing me, Ethan.” The tears began to fill my eyes I had been trying to avoid this exact situation here. All these pent up emotions. “You may think your words are like honey, but they are like poison to my heart. Daggers right to my chest. You aren’t helping the situation. You are destroying me.”
“I would never want to destroy you, Lily.”
“But you are,” I whimpered. “You say you can’t be with me, but you still look at me the way you do. You say we need to forget what happened, but I can’t.”
“Lily…”
“I know. I’m the one who said I could handle it. I’m the one who said that it would all be okay, but I got in over my head. I was foolish to think that I could sleep with you and not feel anything afterward. Because now I feel everything, and I am breaking because of it.
“I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can barely breathe without thinking of you, Ethan. I waited for years hoping one day that you would see me, praying that somehow and some way you would want me. Be careful what you wish for, I guess.”
I let out a sad laugh that was more of a cry than a laugh. My whole heart was breaking right in front of me and all I could do was watch it happen.
His grip on my arm loosened, and I took that opportunity to rip my arm out of his hold. I bolted out of the bathroom and headed downstairs.
I could hear the back and forth bickering between Maddison and Marcus, but I didn’t stop. I continued on and made my way out of the house. The door slammed behind me, and I was sure they would have heard it.
I heard the door open and close.
“Lily, wait.” It was Maddison. “Slow down.”
I didn’t slow down. I just wanted to get into the house and lock myself in my room.
“Lily.” She pulled me by my arm forcing me to a stop. “What did he do? Did he hurt you? I swear I will beat him with my bat if he did.”
I shook my head. "No, don’t. It’s just a lot going on right now.”
“Okay, help me understand. I want to help you.”
“It’s nothing.” I brushed away the stray tear that had fallen from my eyes. “I just need to rest.”
“No, it’s not okay. You are crying, and I’m not dropping this until you tell me. You've been walking around this house like a zombie. It's like you are there but not really there at the same time. Something is going on with you, and I bet my Chanel that it has to do with Ethan."
I looked at the house behind her. She followed my eye-line and then turned back to me. Understanding came over her, and she started pushing me toward the house.
“Okay. We can go inside.”
She ushered me into our house. She closed the door behind us and then turned to me.
“Now, tell me what is going on before I go back into Ethan's house and beat his ass."
I let out a shaky and heavy breath. A low whimper escaped my mouth. Maddison put her arms around me and then I broke. I let out everything that had been inside of my heart—all the hurt, all the pain, and all the sadness.
“I’m not going to lie to you I want to go back to Ethan’s house and break his surgical hands but I know that’s a felony so I won’t.”
