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Chapter 17 - Gavin: Dumbfounded
“Tatiana, I am busy, and I don’t have time for you or any of your nonsense. You made it clear we are done months ago, and I have accepted that and moved on with my life.”
“Gavin, please.” She sniffed. “I just need to speak to you. It’s important. I wouldn’t be so persistent if it wasn’t. Just hear me out.”
I had nothing truthfully to lose from hearing her out. But the pride in me made me hesitant.
“Fine.”
She breathed heavily into the phone and sniffed. She was crying or had been crying which already had me on high alert. Tatiana was not the kind of woman that cried. She was always so headstrong and hid her emotions very well. Growing up in the spotlight had done that to her. The fact that she was breaking down meant that something was going on.
“I was pregnant. It was yours.”
The world stilled. I had heard the words she’d said but, for some reason, my brain just couldn’t compute them.
“I didn’t know what to do. I was scared. We had broken up, and my career would have never allowed me to be pregnant right now. So I…so…I had…fuck.”
I could hear the brokenness in her voice, but I didn’t care how broken she felt because the tightness in my chest had me keeling over trying to keep steady.
“Spit it out, Tatiana,” I ordered.
“I had an abortion.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I couldn’t speak. There were so many emotions running through me at that moment, I didn’t know what to say or think. Sadness, anger, betrayal, hurt and despair. They kept making their way to the forefront of my mind. I had to place my hand on the wall to keep myself from falling over.
“Gavin,” she sniffed, “say something.”
“What do you want me to say?” I laughed without a hint of humor in my voice. “You made the decision on your own. There is nothing that can be done about it now.”
“I just thought that you should know. I didn’t want you being in the dark.”
“And what would that serve me exactly except bring misery to my heart, Tatiana? What you just did was selfish. This wasn’t about keeping me in the dark. It was about clearing your guilty conscious and nothing more. First, you chose to not marry me, then you date Hunter, and now this? Do you want to bleed my fucking heart dry?”
“No! Of course not. I just wanted to let you know that this was the decision I had made.”
“Why?!” I bellowed. Then I remembered where I was. Danny was inside the house, and I didn’t know how thin these walls were. I cleared my throat, trying to keep my voice low. “Why?”
“Because it was the right thing to do.”
“No,” I snapped. “The right thing to do would have been to tell me you were pregnant before you decided tomurderour baby.”
I heard her sharp intake of breath, and I knew that I had hit a sore spot for her.
I knew it was her body and it had been her choice but what about me? She knew how badly I wanted children. We had talked about it extensively. She knew what our baby would have meant to me. Regardless if we had still been together or not, I would have been there for her and our baby. Her telling me about what she did was like a punch to the gut.
There was a saying—ignorance is bliss—and I had never felt that statement more than I felt it in that moment.
“I tried but you wouldn’t take my calls. I was trying to tell you, Gavin, but you didn’t want to hear me out.”
“Fucking hell Tatiana, I left LA because of you. I was spiraling out of fucking control. I had been with you for two years and you rejected me and proceeded to jet off to Europe living your best life while I stayed behind in pieces. You didn’t care about my feelings nor our relationship, our friendship!”
By the time I was done ranting, I was gasping for air. All those pent-up emotions I had held back. All those mixed feelings I didn’t face bubbled forward. Why did she have to do this?
She was silent for a moment before she finally spoke. “I’m sorry.”
“I need to go, Tatiana.” I couldn’t deal with this. Not when Danny was dealing with that shit show of an ex. Tatiana was the least of my concerns.
Before she could answer, I hung up.
