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She said she’d be right back, but I didn’t take my eyes off Tali.
She didn’t look as serious as she had in the office. The slow, rhythmic sway of her hips had my heart racing even faster than it had been. Her smile had me turning inside out.
Someone came up behind her. A guy in a suit. When he wrapped his arms around her waist, I was inches from sailing down there and pounding some manners into him.
But then she turned, and her arms went around his neck. She smiled the smile that had once been mine. She fucking kissed him. Not a peck on the cheek either. She kissed him like she loved him.
My knuckles went white as I gripped the railing and black spots clouded my vision. My jacket suffocated me, so I threw it off, tossing it somewhere on the dark floor behind me. Sweat dripped down into my eyes, burning me.
The waitress tapped her on the shoulder, her smile proud as she held the Czech beer on her tray.
Tali frowned at the proffered beer. Her boyfriend kept his arm around her waist, like he had to claim her in the face of another man seeing her and wanting her.
He clearly had no idea who Tali was. She couldn’t be claimed. She wasn’t property. She stayed because she wanted to, not becausehewanted her to.
The waitress pointed up at me, and Tali’s eyes followed. Gazes locked, brown to hazel, weary to wired. My grip tightened to the point of pain.
“Tali!” I yelled.
I had no idea if she heard me. I barely heard myself over the thumping bass, and she was already looking up with anguish-filled eyes. The guy who touched things he shouldn’t be touching was also looking.
I let go of the railing to give him my middle finger. Was that shit-stain really what she wanted? He might have been my exact opposite, with his slick suit, slicker hair, and laid back demeanor. He didn’t even flinch at my aggression.
My shirt was grabbed from behind and yanked. I swung around, fists balled, chest heaving. Jin jumped out of my way, hands up in front of him.
“You gotta stop,” he said. “You’re behaving like a lunatic. People are recording you.”
I was a bull, and he was looking a lot like a red flag right now. Narrowing my eyes, I paced, clenching and unclenching my hands.
“Tali’s down there,” I finally said.
“No shit. You were screaming her name over and over.”
I drove the heel of my hand into my forehead. “What? No, I said her name once.”
“No, Jude.” He stepped closer, hands still in front of him. “You look like shit, dude. What’d you take?”
My eyes squeezed shut, sweat dripped down my nose. “I did some blow. Sev had some shit from a new dealer. Said it was pure.” I laid my palm on my chest. “My heart’s racing.”
The waitress appeared, carrying the Pilsner and a folded piece of paper.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “She said she already had a drink, but to thank you.” She held out the paper. “She wanted me to give you this.”
The trembling hands that took the note and carefully unfolded it were mine, but could have been someone else’s for as foreign as they looked.
Jude,
On your 28th birthday, I went to church and got on my knees to pray, thanking all that is holy you made it past 27. Seeing you last week and tonight, I’m worried you won’t get to 30. Please, please, take care of yourself. You need to be on this earth.
-Tali
Paper crumpled in my palm. I tossed it to the ground, grinding it into the grit with the toe of my boot. “Fuck this, fuck this, fuck this.”
“Let me take you home,” Jin said.
I whirled around, searching over the railing for Tali again. The people below blurred as my vision closed in. I would have seen her if she was there, even if I lost both my eyes.
She’d left. She’d sent that note to distract me and hauled ass. Probably fucking her slick boyfriend in the back of a cab.
