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This wasn’t a drinking game; it was game of chicken. Except, April wasn’t aware that Jeremy knew too, since I’d promised not to tell him, so she didn’t know what was really going on. It was a fucking mess.
Erin ran off giddily, and returned a minute later with an entire tray of shots.
“Damn, Erin,” April said with a frown. “That’s a bit much, don’t you think?”
“Maybe. Depends how this game goes, right?” She winked at all of us.
And so it began.
It started off innocently enough. Typical questions about shoplifting, skinny-dipping, cheating on tests, that kind of thing. April and I kept our turns incredibly boring, and even the other two didn’t go too wild at first. I learned a few surprising things about April, but miraculously, nothing horrible had happened yet.
The shots were taking the edge off, and it started actually getting kind of fun. Erin was really good at coming up with ideas, and I even laughed at a few. And then I made the fatal mistake of letting my guard down.
The questions soon took a rapid turn to the salacious, and the worryingly specific. After April and I had both taken shots at ‘never have I ever had sex on a kitchen table/counter’ I started having a bad feeling. They wouldn’t bat an eye at me admitting to this stuff, but April too? With each one, it was getting more and more obvious, even to drunk people. I could have just lied, of course, but lying in this case felt like being ashamed of what I’d done with her, and I felt absolutely nothing of the sort with regards to April. But we either needed to end the game now, or things were going to get awkward. I tried suggesting new games, or even, God forbid, dancing instead, but Jeremy and Erin shot it down every time.
Then, on his next turn, Jeremy pretended to scratch his chin thoughtfully, and I knew that I wouldn’t like what he was about to say. “Hmm, what can I pick? Never have I ever… had sex with someone I’ve known for more than ten years.”
“Nice one!” Erin chimed in.
And then the table got dead quiet.
Neither Erin nor Jeremy took their drink. Which made sense. We weren’t that old, and for most people, unless you hooked up with someone you met back in preschool, you weren’t around them long enough to make that happen.
The silence stretched. April glared at her brother, and then me. Glaring was the theme of the night it seemed. I didn’t know how it had happened, whether it was intentional or purely coincidental, but Erin and Jeremy had unwittingly joined forces to make us both acutely miserable.
I considered walking out, for the hundredth time in the last hour, but I couldn’t leave April like this. I was pretty sure that the penny had just dropped, and she had figured out that Jeremy knew about us. I needed to talk to her. Explain why I had betrayed her trust.
She angrily tossed her drink back and shoved the little glass away. I quietly shot mine back, and tried to catch her glance, but she refused to look my way. Her cheeks were pink, from the shots or her admission, I wasn’t sure.
Erin was grinning broadly at the turn of events.
“It’s almost midnight, maybe we should wrap it up,” I suggested, trying one last time. If April ever talked to me again, I’d be shocked. But I had to try to salvage the night.
“Wait, just a few more! How about an easy one? Never have I ever been in love.” Erin offered up cheerfully, sliding more drinks our way.
My fingers clenched around my glass. Jeremy and Erin tossed their drinks back easily. April hesitated, and I froze, thinking as quickly as I could. They all knew me. They all knew my dating history. As April had adeptly pointed out, I’d never had a real relationship. Hell, I bragged about it. It was a no-brainer.
Or it should have been. I wasn’t sure anymore. I had nothing to compare it to, but the terror I was currently feeling at losing April over this stupid game felt like something significant.
“April?” Erin asked.
I forgot about my own dilemma, and glanced her way. She was more of a wild card. She had dated consistently as long as I’d known her. She was beautiful, sweet, and smart, of course she did. I’d never thought much about it, but none of the guys had ever stuck, though. She’d never brought anyone to the cabin, or to any other holiday or event. She never even talked about guys around me, that I could remember. And Jeremy had never implied that she was serious about anyone. She was young yet, but still. Given her hesitation, I was suddenly desperately curious. It opened up some important questions for a later time.
I watched, rapt, as she swallowed hard, gave her head a tiny shake, and then tossed back her shot. Her hands were trembling, and that told me what I needed to know.
“Interesting. Ryan, do we even need to bother?” Jeremy asked, looking at me intently.
I had completely forgotten what was going on until he spoke to me. His voice had gone serious, and his expression was no longer one of drunken amusement.
With three pairs of eyes on me, I realized how stupid I’d been. This hadn’t been about messing with me and April at all. Or at least, not entirely. I was sure that they’d gotten some enjoyment out our intense discomfort. But the real point, all along, was to see how serious I really was. Jeremy was making me admit, right here in front of the most important people in April’s life, how I really felt about her.
It was a fucking test.
I turned to look at April. For the first time all night, she was staring right back at me, unabashedly. Her lovely hazel eyes were wide and dark. I flashed back to the night on the floor of the cabin, her eyes glittering in the candlelight. I thought about how I felt in that moment. The music and loud chatter faded away. My time was up, I had to make a choice.
Fight for April, or let her go.
Without breaking her gaze, I lifted my glass.
