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Chapter 12
After a shockingly brief conversation,William departed so abruptly that Louisa was utterly dumbstruck. He had attempted to tell her about himself and his family, and she’d watched him contort over nearly every word he’d uttered. Oh, he assuredly thought he’d been keeping his emotions intact, but this time—this time—he hadn’t succeeded. Louisa had witnessed a whole host of emotions being pitched about within him. His entire being had vibrated with it, his face rigid from the effort to contain it all.
She remained in the music room for several minutes, unsure what to do next.
In less than a week, the third and final banns would be read, and the marriage would proceed in the days following. Tonight, he had tried to keep his promise to her, had struggled to overcome whatever stranglehold there was inside him about speaking of his family and his past. Louisa’s heart had gone out to him. But she still resented the constraint the vowel put her under, and she was running out of time. It could take weeks, months, even years for him to ever open up to her—if ever. She didn’t have the luxury of time.
She eventually went back to the drawing room, not knowing where else to go. Mama was still there, reading, having set her needlework aside.
The sight of her in such a tranquil setting was eerily reminiscent of what William had told her of his own mother, a genteel young woman with no money and few prospects who’d happened to catch the eye of a viscount. She’d borne a son and seen him sent away when he was only ten. William had alluded to the fact that there had been troubles in his parents’ marriage, even early on.
How lonely Lady Farleigh must have been to have her only child sent away so young and to have been married to a man who left her in the country while he himself spent the majority of his time in London. It had been difficult for Louisa to see her brothers go off to Eton, but they’d come home for school holidays, and the family had visited them at school on regular occasions.
Mama closed her book and set it aside. “Lord Farleigh has left, I take it,” she said.
“Yes.”
“Perhaps this is a bit indelicate of me to say, Louisa, but it must be said nonetheless: I chatted briefly with Martha, er, the Duchess of Atherton, and she hasn’t been able to learn much of anything about Lord Farleigh—and if anyone should be able, it’s Martha, you know. Perhaps there is nothing to learn, but I find the lack of information about him disconcerting. Are you absolutely certain you want to marry this man?”
“No, Mama, of course I’m not certain. Is anyone certain when they’re facing a sacrifice born of honor?”
“Well, something must be done. Your father will be at the House of Lords tomorrow, and I think I shall suggest that he discreetly ask about Lord Farleigh—the son, that is, not the father—while he’s there. I, on the other hand, have promised to deliver food baskets to some of the more needy within the parish, which will take up a good share of my day, so I doubt I shall learn anything helpful, but I will certainly try. You must set aside time in the evening after dinner for us to discuss things. Time is of the essence. Perhaps I shall ask Halford and Anthony to assist as well.”
Louisa went over and kissed Mama on the cheek. She didn’t mention that Alex and Anthony were already seeing what they could find out. “I believe I’ll retire now,” she said. “I’m tired.”
Mama drew her in for a hug, and, oh, how Louisa needed it, how it made her feel like a little girl again, safe and loved within her mother’s arms. “Good night, my darling girl. Rest well.”
“Good night, Mama.”
Louisa wasn’t sure how well she would rest. The image of William agonizing while trying to express what should have been the simplest things about himself kept running through her mind over and over again. She had a lot to think about.
She had barely entered her bedroom when there was a soft knock at the door, and then Alex opened it a few inches and poked his head inside. “I’ve been waiting for you,” he whispered. “May I come in?” He shut the door silently behind himself without waiting for her to answer and then stood where he was, looking at her, his brows wrinkled, his mouth in a deep frown.
She’d noticed earlier that, besides Anthony, Alex, who was usually so lighthearted, had been in an atypically sober mood throughout the day. She’d assumed it was because she’d asked Anthony and him to help her and he’d decided to actually take his role seriously while William was here today. Apparently, she’d been wrong, for something was truly troubling Alex—and few things troubled him. She wrapped her arms around her middle. “You know something,” she said.
“Yes,” he said.
“Is it very bad, then?” she asked, regardless of the fact that the look on Alex’s face had already answered that particular question.
“Come; let’s sit,” he replied. He led her to the small sofa in front of the fireplace and sat next to her, draping his arm around her shoulders.
There was another soft tap at the door, and then Anthony poked his head into the room.
“What a surprise,” Alex muttered.
“I’ve been waiting for you to come upstairs ever since I heard Farleigh leave,” Anthony said. He glared at his older brother. “What are you doing here?”
“I asked you first,” Alex drawled.
“No, you didn’t,” Anthony countered. “But I’ll tell you anyway. I came to check on my little sister to see how she’s doing. Farleigh left rather early for someone intent on wooing Louisa—and who has been gone the better part of a week. What’s your reason, Alex?”
Alex looked at Louisa for direction.
“You may as well say whatever it is you have to say in front of Tony too,” she answered.
He glared at Anthony. “I suppose he’ll find out sooner or later anyway. Very well. Kerridge was at the Marwoods’ last night—at least for part of the evening,” he said. “You didn’t mention that he’d offered for you again, Weezy.”
“What?” Anthony asked, except, really, it was more of an exclamation than a question.
