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Setting her glass of water down, Faith smiled at him sweetly. “Have I been that bad?” When he didn’t reply immediately, she assured him that it was okay with, “It’s okay, you can tell the truth. I know I’ve been unbearable for the past few weeks.”
Relaxing in his chair, Sincere shook his head. “Not unbearable, just not what I’m used to. Which is understandable. I will gladly put up with the mood swings if it means I get to still have you.”
Her smile turned into a pout as her eyes watered. “I love you so much, baby, and I know I don’t say it often, but I really appreciate you. This is the first time I’ve battled this and felt like my life partner was really by my side. And I know it’s not just the mood swings… I’m no help around the house, my appearance has gone down, we aren’t having sex, and I’ve been really self-absorbed lately…”
“I don’t give a fuck about none of that shit,” he interrupted. “You’re alive, and you’re fighting this. That’s literally all I care about. I’m a man, this ain’t shit I can’t handle.”
Faith pushed her half-eaten plate into the center of the table. “The cancer has spread, Sincere.”
It took Sincere a while to respond because he needed to give his brain time to process what she’d just said. Even though he knew there was a chance this would happen, he really thought she would beat it like all the other times. Honestly, he hadn’t even allowed himself to consider another option, and he wouldn’t start now.
“Okay. That’s… it’s fine. You still have what? At minimum, three more months of chemo? We can still beat this.”
Faith chuckled softly. “Maybe, but there’s also a chance that Iwon’tbeat it this time, and if that’s the case, we both need to be prepared.”
Suddenly, he was filled with a fullness that left no room for food. With his loss of appetite, he stood from the table and headed out of the dining room.
“Sincere,” Faith called softly, quickly following behind him.
“I’m not talking about this with you.”
“I know you don’t want to…” She grabbed his hand. “But we have to.”
“No, we don’t, because I’m not going to consider my life without you. Not any time soon.”
Faith tugged his hand, forcing him to stop walking in the direction of the living room. “Even if I do survive, we still need to have this conversation. The cancer might not kill me, but I could die of a blood clot at any moment. Or get hit by a car. Or slip and crack my head. We have to talk about this at least once, babe, and I promise I won’t bring it up again.”
Even though Sincere knew she was right, this still wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have… not when it pertained to her. With a nod, he gave in. They went into the living room, sitting so closely that their knees touched.
“You know I have an insurance policy,” he reminded. “You’ll be well taken care of no matter how I die. My instructions for my funeral and assets are with my will. Of course, eighty-five percent of everything I have will go to you and our children if we have any. Ten percent will go to my parents and cousins if they are still alive, and the rest will be donated.”
“Okay. I visited my parents’ lawyer and had a will drawn up. They have a copy, she does, and I put yours in our safe.” Sincere nodded, clenching his jaw. “I don’t want a large funeral because I don’t want people crying over me. Just have a quick gravesite burial then a party in my honor. I want you to celebrate the end of my pain, okay?”
His head tilted as his eyes watered. Swallowing hard, he nodded. “If that’s what you want.”
“I also want you to take a month off of work and go to an island somewhere. Center and find peace. Don’t bury yourself in work and not grieve the loss of me. It’ll haunt you forever. I want you to take some time and process the loss of me, and then live your life, Sincere. Can you promise me that?”
“Whatever you need,” he agreed softly.
Faith smiled. “There’s one last thing.” She took his hand into hers. “I know you probably won’t try to date after I’m gone, which is why I’ve started to look for my replacement.”
Brows wrinkled, Sincere unknowingly leaned forward, thinking he’d heard her incorrectly. “You’re doing what?”
“Looking for my replacement. I asked Keisha but she said no…”
With a quiet chuckle, Sincere pulled his hand from her reach. “You asked Keisha what? What are you saying, Faith?”
“I asked her if she would be your wife after I died, but she said no. So I’ve set up a dating profile and plan to interview women on your behalf. I want you to find a suitable partner before I die, so I can be at peace knowing that you won’t be alone.”
Their eyes remained locked for seconds on end before he asked with a smile, “You’re joking, right?” Her head shook. “This is a test. Like onThe Cosby Showwhen Clair said she wanted Cliff to remarry, then she was mad at his ass for it.”
Even though Faith smiled, her head shook again. “No, I’m serious. I want you to start looking for my replacement.”
As he stood, he muttered, “You have got to be out of your fucking mind. The hell I look like planning a new relationship when I’m still married to you? Are you crazy or something?”
“No, I’m actually quite sane. I’ve had a lot of time to think this through, and I believe this is what’s best for the both of us. It would help me transition better if I knew…”
“Why are you trying to transition better?” he yelled, arms flailing in the process. Veins popping out of his forehead and neck, it craned as he peered down at her. “I don’t need you to worry about the woman that comes after you. There won’tbea woman after you. I need your ass to focus on beating this shit. That’s it!”
