AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He lets out a laugh, but it’s not the carefree sound I’m used to. There’s something sinister about the sound, something dark.
Without saying anything else, I slide down next to him, mirroring his posture. He makes no attempt to look at me, and I try my best to keep my eyes directed forward as well. I would guess a good ten minutes have passed before I finally get the nerve to speak again.
“Why did you come here, Sebastian?”
“You know why.” He glances at me out of the corner of his eye. “I meant what I said to you outside of that coffee shop. I’ve been waiting for you. Though it would appear I’ve been alone in this venture.”
“You knew I had a boyfriend,” I weakly argue.
“Trust me, I’m all too aware of yourboyfriend.But I’m also aware that you said you loved me; here I thought that was still true.” His voice shakes slightly and only then do I realize how distraught he seems, though he’s doing his damndest to hold it together.
“I do love you.” I lay my hand on his forearm, jumping slightly when he pulls away from my touch.
“If you loved me you wouldn’t have said yes.” He shifts inward to face me straight on, and the hurt in his eyes knocks the wind right out of me. It’s like taking a punch to the stomach; I will the air in, but my lungs have no capacity for it.
“That’s not fair,” I finally manage to croak out.
“I don’t give a fuck what’s fair anymore, Tess. It’s always been an excuse. I’m starting to realize you’re never going to stop making excuses, and I’m just simply wasting my time at this point,” he seethes, quickly pushing to his feet.
“Don’t do that. You know that isn’t true,” I object, resisting the urge to reach for him when I stand as well.
“Bullshit, Tess.” He spins on me. “You’re never going to forgive me, are you?”
“What are you talking about?” I question, confused by his words.
“I’m talking about the fact that five years ago I broke your heart and your trust, and deep down you’re still holding onto that. If you weren’t you wouldn’t have turned me away when I showed up at your prom. You wouldn’t have denied me when I came to you last year. And you sure as hell wouldn’t have just agreed to marry another man. Admit it, Tess, you just can’t let it go.”
“That’s not true, Sebastian.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me!” he roars, causing me to stumble backward slightly. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Tess,” he repeats more calmly. “I know I fucked up. I know letting you go was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. But fuck, Tess, I was just a kid. A kid who was trying like hell to do what was right by you. It wasn’t until that night at prom that I realized how stupid I’d been.”
“You mean after you realized that I was going to prom with another guy. Or do you think I’m so blind I can’t see where your actions are stemming from? It’s jealously, Sebastian. That’s the one thing that’s always fueled you. You don’t want me. You discarded me so easily, and yet the second you see me with someone else it’s like you can’t live without me. So what is it, Sebastian, huh?”
“This has nothing to do with anyone but you and me. Yes, realizing that you had a date to prom—that you were going with someone who wasn’t me—was a hard pill to swallow, and maybe I didn’t handle that situation the way I should have, but that’s not why I came for you that night. And it sure as hell isn’t why I showed up at your dorm last year. I didn’t even know you were involved with anyone. I know I’m the one who started all of this when I let you go the first time, but the only person who’s been keeping us apart is you. I tried to keep my distance, fuck—for years I tried. But I kept coming back to you, Tess. You are it for me. You’ve always been it for me.”
“Sebastian,” I try to speak but he quickly cuts me off.
“I want you to think long and hard about what you say to me next, Tess, because this is it for me. I’m done. I’m done chasing you. I’m done putting my life on hold waiting for you to decide you want to be with me. I’m done with this game, Tess. I’m just done.”
“I’m not playing any games, Sebastian.”
“You know what, I honestly believe that you believe that. I can tell by the way you look at me that you still love me. But you’ve put up this guard. I broke your heart, and so you’ve built a wall to keep me from it.”
“The timing just wasn’t right, we agreed.”
“No, I blamed it on timing once when I was trying to do what I thought was right. After that you ran with it, and it’s been your crutch ever since. Now, when you finally have the ability to choose me—to be with me—you agree to marry another man.”
“I’ve been with Bennett for almost two years. It’s not just you and me. There’s another person to consider here. A person I care a great deal for. It’s not as black and white as you seem to think it is.”
“But it is, Tess. It is black and white. Either you love me or you don’t. Either you choose me or you don’t.” He throws his hand up in frustration. “I can’t fucking do this anymore, Tess. I can’t keep running to you only to have you push me away again. I need to know now—without question—do you truly intend to marry that man?” He gestures toward the house where Bennett and all my other friends and family are gathered out back, completely oblivious to the life-altering decision staring me right in the face.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” I fight back the tears I feel burning the back of my eyes.
“I want you to say no, Tess. I want you to tell me that you don’t want to marry him. I want you to tell me that you want to marry me, that you love me.”
“I do love you,” I choke, emotion thick in my throat.
“But you love him more, is that it?”
