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Given how this night started, I didn’t expect it to be even remotely fun, and for once I couldn’t be happier that I was wrong.
I didn’t realize just how much this would help—allowing myself to just be a normal teenager. And while Sebastian never strayed from my mind, I was able to push him away enough that it didn’t put too bad of a damper on my evening.
I even found myself enjoying Ricky’s company a lot more than I originally thought I would. While we’ve known each other since we were little, we’ve never run in the same circle of friends and therefore haven’t really had a ton of interaction. I was surprised by how funny and quick witted he is, managing to keep a smile on my face for most of the night.
And while there isn’t that spark that exists between Sebastian and me, for the first time I think maybe I could see myself dating someone else. Not Ricky necessarily but just someone. And that thought feels better than I knew it could.
It means that even though I don’t always feel like it, I am making progress. Second by second, minute by minute, day by day, a small part of me is letting go; even if deep down I’m not sure if I actually want to.
When I return to the corner table that Courtney and I—along with our dates and few other friends—claimed for the night, I feel dead on my feet. I don’t ever remember a time when dancing took it out of me quite like it has tonight.
Stretching my legs out under the table I close my eyes for a brief moment, just needing a moment to take it all in. Maybe it’s running into Sebastian earlier, maybe it’s finally deciding that I just need to let go; maybe it’s that tonight I’ve shown the first semblance of doing just that. But whatever it is, I feel absolutely emotionally drained.
“Here you go, Tess.” My eyes pop back open at the sound of Ricky’s voice, and I look up to find him standing next to me, drink extended in my direction.
“Thank you.” I smile, taking the cup from him before watching him claim the seat next to me.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m beat.” He chuckles, relaxing back into the chair as he sips from his cup.
“I think I’m right there with you. How much longer does this thing go on for?” I ask, reaching for my phone in the center of the table and clicking it on to check the time.
When I catch sight of Sebastian’s name on my phone followed by a string of messages; an uneasiness creeps up my back, and I stare at the device like it’s grown legs and is about to start walking.
“I think another hour or so,” Ricky answers, but his voice suddenly sounds so distant I barely even register the words.
Heat washes through me, feeling like someone just poured a bucket of scalding water over my head. It’s several long seconds before I’m able to actually bring myself to open the message chat and the second I do, once again everything shifts.
Sebastian:I’m sorry about earlier tonight. I’m sorry about a lot of things.
Sebastian:I hope you’re having fun at prom.
Quickly followed by—
Sebastian:Okay, that’s a lie. I hope you’re having the worst time and you haven’t been able to stop thinking about me just like I haven’t stopped thinking about you.
There’s a twenty-minute gap between the last two messages, and when I reach the final one I enter a total and utter state of shock.
Sebastian:I’m outside.
I look up toward the door almost expecting to see him standing there. Of course, he’s not there, but I can’t help but look for him anyway.
He’s outside?
I find my mind questioning if I read the message right, staring down at the device and then looking back at the door like the answer is somehow going to appear in front of me.
I find myself standing without actually meaning to, mumbling something to Ricky about needing to use the restroom before numbly making my way out of the gym and into the hallway.
Every step I take toward the parking lot becomes heavier, my head and heart battling it out with no clear victor in sight. My head tells me to turn around, to turn around right now and not let him do this to me. I was doing good, enjoying myself for the first time in a very long time. My heart, however, has other plans entirely. Because my heart belongs to the one person who’s calling for it, and it’s a call it cannot refuse.
The night air is warm as I step outside but I still shiver, running my hands up and down my bare arms trying to smooth out the sudden goose bumps that have broken out across my flesh.
It takes me no time to locate Sebastian because the second I look up he’s there, leaning against the railing that runs the length on each side of the wide cement walkway.
I blink in rapid succession, my breath coming in short spurts as my chest rises and falls so quickly I wonder if I’m not hyperventilating.
He’s dressed in the same faded jeans and black v-neck as before, only now an LSU baseball cap sits low on his forehead, casting a dark shadow over his eyes as he moves toward me. I can feel each step he takes, feel the air around me thicken the closer he gets. By the time he stops directly in front of me, I feel like I’m seconds away from succumbing to the weight of it all.
“I didn’t think you’d come out,” he admits, voice low.
