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“So, Kane, I was thinking,” my father says between bites of my mother’s famous pot roast. “We should take the old boat out this weekend. Maybe get a little fishing in while you’re home.”
I instantly feel bad knowing I can’t.
“I wish I could, Dad, but I’m actually leaving Saturday.”
“So soon?” my mom questions, disappointment clear on her face.
“I know. I’m sorry. I got signed for a big contract with an Italian eyewear company that I couldn’t pass up. I fly out of Chicago on Sunday so I’ll need to give myself time to get home and pack.”
“Where are you off to this time?” my dad asks, having always been interested in my line of work.
I wait until I’ve swallowed the bite in my mouth before speaking. “Italy.”
“Right. You said Italian company. I should have guessed.” My father shakes his head.
“Well, as you know, where I end up isn’t always where the company is based out of so it’s a valid question.”
“How long will you be gone for this time?” my mother asks, hitting me with a look that makes me feel like the lowest piece of shit on Earth for not being home more.
“About a month,” I say, shoveling some potatoes in my mouth in an effort to not have to say more.
“That long?”
“It’s not that long, Mary,” my dad chimes in, clearly sensing my need of rescuing. To this day my dad is still the only person that can reel my mom in and he can do so without even batting an eye.
“I guess you’re right.” She smiles softly, shuffling carrots around her plate with her fork. “Oh, I completely forgot to tell you that Elara came by the other morning.”
The mere mention of her name has my stomach swirling once again.Fuck, what is it about this girl?
“She did?” my father questions.
“Three days ago. I can’t believe I forgot to tell you.” She shakes her head. “I swear my memory is not what it used to be.”
“I hadn’t seen her at Carol’s. Figured I had missed her.” My father’s expression softens slightly.
“You did. She came over to say goodbye but you had gone into the office that morning. I still can’t believe I forgot to tell you.” She pauses before adding, “I really hate that she felt like she had to leave.”
“I think it’s good that she went home. You know how close those two were. There was hardly a place Kamden would go that Elara wasn’t right there with him. And then the accident,” my father trails off. “I’m sure being here wasn’t easy for her.”
“I suppose your right. I’m sure gonna miss her though.” My mom blinks back tears that well behind her eyes, not a single one falling.
“Me too. I got used to having her around all the time,” my father agrees. “I’m sure she’ll come visit.”
“I hope so. Though a part of me is almost relieved that she’s gone,” my mother admits quietly, surprising both me and my father. “I guess it was difficult for me. Seeing her all the time knowing my sweet boy didn’t walk away from the accident but she did.”
“Mom!” I interject, appalled by the words that just left her mouth.
My mom is the sweetest person I know. She loves every single person that comes into our lives and does so with her whole heart. Not because she has to but because she wants to. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say anything about another person even remotely close to what she just said.
“I’m happy she’s alive, of course I am. That’s not what I meant. I just, it’s just hard for me sometimes.” She blows out a breath.
“Elara loved Kam just as much as we all did. How do you think she feels knowing she lived and he didn’t?” I question, dropping my fork on the plate, my appetite long since passed.
“Honestly, I can’t imagine what that must be like for her,” she admits.
“None of us can. We can’t even fathom what it would be like to be in her shoes,” I grind out, more irritated than I should be given that my mom’s comment was not meant to be a dig at Elara. She was simply voicing what any parent would probably feel only weeks after losing a child.
“I know that. Of course I do. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.” She seems genuinely sorry about what she said which in turn makes me feel even worse.
