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“You’re not an asshole,” he gets out on a wide smile. “There’s nothing for you in Chicago. I understand that.”
“There’s nothing for you in Arkansas.”
“Yes there is,” he disagrees.
“What?” I cross my arms
“You.” He grins.
“There you go again.”
“Babe, I’m just saying, Chicago has nothing for me either. At least in Arkansas you’d have your dad and I’d have you.”
“And what if I wanted to move back to North Carolina.”
“Then North Carolina is where we’ll go,” he states like there’s no question.
“And your job?”
“Babe.” He places his hands on both my shoulders. “We will figure it out,” he says softly, dipping his face down so his is just inches from mine. “I’ll move heaven and fucking earth to be with you, Elara. I don’t care what stands in our way. I will not lose you. Do you hear me?” He gives my shoulders a slight shake.
“I hear you.” I’m finally able to push past the well of emotion that has lodged itself in my throat.
“Good.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “Now stop worrying. This is our last night together in Italy and I don’t want to spend it arguing over the future.”
“We weren’t arguing,” I provide, a smile playing on my lips.
“Fair enough. Discussing,” he corrects himself, turning to tuck me into his side before veering back out onto the sidewalk.
I wish I could say his reassurances make the doubt swimming in my stomach disappear but it doesn’t. I continue to stew and worry the rest of the evening while trying my best to also enjoy my time in Rome with Kane.
By the time we board the train back to Milan, I’m both physically and mentally exhausted. It’s actually been the perfect day, despite the fact that I’ve spent most of it on edge and uneasy not knowing what tomorrow holds.
I’m not ready to leave this behind–any of it. I’m just not ready. Then again, I don’t know that I’ll ever be ready. I guess it’s one of those moments where you just have to jump even though you’re terrified what you might hit when you reach the bottom.
Kane tucks me into his side the moment we’re settled into our seats. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, letting my mind digest everything that today entailed. The incredible things we did. The way Kane’s smile stretched across his face taking in my reaction to each and everything he showed me. The way he held me and kissed me. The way he told me he would move heaven and earth to be with me.
Call me a skeptic but it all just seems way too damn good to be true. I’ve learned the hard way that if something seems too perfect, it probably is. Kam was perfect. We were perfect…well, in our own little way. And then I lost him.
My family was perfect. My childhood was perfect. And then that perfect childhood was tainted by watching my mom wither away and die of breast cancer at forty-five years old.
Nothing perfect lasts forever. Hell, nothing lasts forever. But isn’t Kane worth the risk? What’s the famous saying? It’s better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all. I think that statement is easier said when you haven’t experienced loss the way I have.
Kane has.Kane lost his brother, his only sibling, his best friend, and yet he’s unafraid to jump back into life head first. He calls me fearless but I think that title belongs to him. I’m not fearless at all, not really. Deep down I think I’m just as scared as the next person, I’m just better at hiding it.
I don’t know at what point I fall asleep, but I wake with Kane’s lips against my temple and him saying, “Wake up, sleepy head. We’re here.”
My eyes flutter open and instantly lock on his gaze.
“Hey.” He smiles, brushing my hair away from my face.
“Hey.” I blink slowly before adding, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“You were tired.”
“I guess so.” I straighten my posture and look around. “We’re back in Milan?” I question, looking out the window to my right.
“Yeah, I didn’t want to wake you but they’re getting ready to open the doors.”
