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Chapter Thirty-eight
Abel
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Two months later...
Ispot Claire as soonas I round the corner. She’s sitting at a small round table outside, a few feet from the street. It’s the table where her and Finley used to always sit. The thought causes my chest to tighten but I push past it, forcing a smile to my face when Claire looks up and sees me crossing the street toward her.
“Abel.” She stands, wrapping her arms around my middle the moment I reach her.
“Hey, Claire.” I breathe in the scent of her hair, emotion clogging my throat when I realize it smells exactly like Finley’s used to. They must use the same shampoo and I never noticed before now.
Then again it’s been almost two months since I’ve seen Claire. Since the day after the funeral to be exact. It was never my intention to separate myself from her the way I have. I guess after everything I needed some time.
“How are you?” I release her and take a full step back, sliding into the seat across from her as she reclaims her own.
“I’m doing okay.” She lets out a small sigh. “Some days are better than others.”
“Yeah, for me too.”
“I knew I’d miss her. I just didn’t realize how much.” Her eyes well with unshed tears but she quickly pulls herself together. “I ordered you a water. I wasn’t sure what to get you since you don’t drink coffee and this is a coffee shop.” She gestures to the glass in front of me.
“Water is perfect.”
“So how are you, Abel? Really?”
“I’m taking it one day at a time,” I admit.
“That’s really all you can do.” She reaches for her coffee cup, lifting it to her lips. After swallowing and setting her cup back down, she continues, “I have to admit, I was surprised when you reached out.”
“I shouldn’t have waited so long. I’m sorry about that.” It feels hard to meet her gaze. Her eyes are so much like Finley’s that I’m not sure if I want to get lost in them or avoid looking at them all together.
“You needed some time. I get that.” She leans forward, resting her elbows on the table in front of her. “I stopped at your parent’s house the other day to visit. Your mom told me the news. She’s in remission. You must be so relieved.”
“I am.” I nod slowly. “I didn’t realize you were on a drop in to visit basis with my mom.”
“We’ve stayed in touch since the funeral. We talk every couple of weeks or so. Just check in with each other.”
“I see.”
“She’s worried about you. We both are.”
“There’s no need to be. I’m okay, really.” But it’s a lie. I’m nowhere near okay. But I don’t feel guilty in my dishonesty because I have to believe that one day it won’t be a lie anymore. It’s the only thing that gets me through. “Listen, the reason I asked you to meet me is because I wanted to tell you face to face—”
“Tell me what?” she asks before I can finish.
“I’m leaving Chicago.”
“Oh.” She draws back, clearly surprised.
“I’m going to stay with my brother in California for a while. I’m hoping getting away will help me clear my head a little. Maybe figure out my next move.”
“Your mom said you haven’t been playing.”
“I just need some time. Time away from all of it.”
“I can’t begin to understand what you’re feeling, Abel, so I won’t pretend that I do. But Finley loved how much you loved to play. She would be devastated to think that she might have taken that from you.”
